Western Union Transfer Screw-Up

[aposhark]

Hi,

I have had a really bad experience with Western Union, and I wonder if anyone can offer any advice?

On 13th March I paid £100 & £9.20 commission to a Western Union agent for a transfer to be collected in pesos in Phils (P 8,216.33).
I received a receipt with the usual information on.
The receiver was my GF’s uncle as she does not have an ID yet. I know her uncle and have met him many times.

My GF told me her uncle went to the nearest Western Union office but was refused the funds as they told him the Claim Number was wrong. :angry:
I entered this MTCN number into the Western Union web page tracker and it too said that the number could not be found so I could not track the progress of this money transfer. :NoNo::NoNo:

I went back to the Western Union agent in UK and complained about the bad service because this number was wrong, and could not get an explanation as to why it was wrong. :NoNo::NoNo:
This agent phoned Western Union who told them that this money was paid out on 16th March 2008, three days after I sent it. :cwm24::yikes::cwm24:

My GF has told me once again that her uncle has again told her he could not get the money because the claim number was wrong.

I have contacted Western Union by their website contact page but haven’t received a reply yet after a day.

The UK agent told me that Photo ID is required before the funds are paid out, and in no way anyone else can get the money without the correct ID of the named receiver on the original form.

As you can imagine, at the moment I am totally confused and irritated, even saddened. My GF is saying the money was not collected by her uncle and Western Union is saying the funds were paid out.
Q. How can anyone collect funds when the MTCN number is incorrect?
This is what the uncle told her to tell me.

I don’t want to upset my intended as she said the money still hasn’t been collected by her uncle and I don’t want her to have any problems with her uncle. I understand how close-knit Phils families are.

Any ideas whilst I am waiting for a reply from Western Union?

I have thought about her Uncle getting the funds and not telling her, but if this dreadful scenary is correct, I still don’t know how he could have received the money without the correct claim number. The thought of him withholding the money from her is a terrible thought, and I am doing my best to hold onto the fact that it is a big screw-up by Western Union.

We have talked about marriage and we speak every day on the phone, I just can’t believe she would be involved in anything unsavoury as it wouldn’t benefit her if her future was me! This is really bad for me, my first money transfer with Western Union.

Any thoughts good and bad gratefully received. I am a bit shell-shocked by all this.

Thanks,
Mike

[aromulus]

It seems to me that the uncle has scammed the both of you.:doh
Close knit family or not, if money is involved they will stitch each other up.... :omg:

try www.xoom.com (http://www.xoom.com) in future, they will deliver the cash in her hands provided she can prove who she is.
And cheaper than WU...

[alicat]

i use western union for almost 3 years now,but i dont encounter any
problem at all...i smell something fishy is going on...your gf should come
to her uncle to the western union first...so she knows whats happen
exactly.

[IainBusby]

Hi,

I have had a really bad experience with Western Union, and I wonder if anyone can offer any advice?

On 13th March I paid £100 & £9.20 commission to a Western Union agent for a transfer to be collected in pesos in Phils (P 8,216.33).
I received a receipt with the usual information on.
The receiver was my GF’s uncle as she does not have an ID yet. I know her uncle and have met him many times.

My GF told me her uncle went to the nearest Western Union office but was refused the funds as they told him the Claim Number was wrong. :angry:
I entered this MTCN number into the Western Union web page tracker and it too said that the number could not be found so I could not track the progress of this money transfer. :NoNo::NoNo:

I went back to the Western Union agent in UK and complained about the bad service because this number was wrong, and could not get an explanation as to why it was wrong. :NoNo::NoNo:
This agent phoned Western Union who told them that this money was paid out on 16th March 2008, three days after I sent it. :cwm24::yikes::cwm24:

My GF has told me once again that her uncle has again told her he could not get the money because the claim number was wrong.

I have contacted Western Union by their website contact page but haven’t received a reply yet after a day.

The UK agent told me that Photo ID is required before the funds are paid out, and in no way anyone else can get the money without the correct ID of the named receiver on the original form.

As you can imagine, at the moment I am totally confused and irritated, even saddened. My GF is saying the money was not collected by her uncle and Western Union is saying the funds were paid out.
Q. How can anyone collect funds when the MTCN number is incorrect?
This is what the uncle told her to tell me.

I don’t want to upset my intended as she said the money still hasn’t been collected by her uncle and I don’t want her to have any problems with her uncle. I understand how close-knit Phils families are.

Any ideas whilst I am waiting for a reply from Western Union?

I have thought about her Uncle getting the funds and not telling her, but if this dreadful scenary is correct, I still don’t know how he could have received the money without the correct claim number. The thought of him withholding the money from her is a terrible thought, and I am doing my best to hold onto the fact that it is a big screw-up by Western Union.

We have talked about marriage and we speak every day on the phone, I just can’t believe she would be involved in anything unsavoury as it wouldn’t benefit her if her future was me! This is really bad for me, my first money transfer with Western Union.

Any thoughts good and bad gratefully received. I am a bit shell-shocked by all this.

Thanks,
Mike

Quote from Fred on the subject of building houses in Phils


Thats true but unless you have people here to send the money to that will spend it honestly where it should be spent then it might be worth taking off an extra two months from work. Its a tough one I know..

We built our place from scratch completely from the UK..We sent them rough plans of what we wanted with pictures sent by email..They had drawings done by the head municipal engineer who also issues the building permits required..They sent us a copy of the plans by DHL and we approved them.. The permits were issued and work started.
It takes a great leap of faith to send huge heaps of hard cash..
My brother in law tells me that it is common practice here for family members to divert large amounts to secret bank accounts and simply tell the sender that the project is over budget..We are very fortunate and I could not in good conscience advice others to attempt the same...Just in case it all goes horribly wrong!!
No wonder a lot of people overseas come here for a month and buy ready finished houses in new sub divisions.

Of course they are slow..They are on day work! The more days they work the more money they end up with. (Same in UK)

Of course!! The problem you now face is will the foundations have the tie beams they quoted you for? Will the posts and beams have the correct size rebar?...and so on.
You need someone that you can trust to be there to oversee just about everything.
Yes..Thats exactly what you need. Make sure you get one.

If it smells like a rat it probably is a rat!

[Eljohno]

NEVER let anyone collect what you send except the G/F there is too much temptation for others whether they are family or not!!

Like others i have never had a problem with Western Union!

[aposhark]

Thanks all for your replies so far. Much appreciated. We are all in a common ground or sailing in the same ship, and your comments are so helpful.
I don't have friends in the UK who would have any idea what I was going on about.
The thing is, Rochelyn asked her uncle to collect the pesos for her, so she must trust him.....
He lived less than 50 yards from her when I was there one month ago.
He was the first person I met from her family who had to "vet" me.
I paid him to take me on his bum-boat to take me to visit her family on another island two hours away. He seemed so helpful and friendly and just before I had to leave he said "don't worry I will look after Rochelyn for you, until you come back to marry her!"
He went to Bogo on the mainland once before to collect a parcel I sent for her from Cebu City.
He is married to Rochelyn's mother's sister. He seemed very genuine to me.
Nothing seems to make sense.
If he has kept the money, this is my first skirmish will the unsavoury side of Filipino families.
How can I find out for sure what happened?
This incorrect MTCN number which I could not access on the WU webpage baffles me.
As alicat mentioned, should I ask her to go to the WU office on the mainland so she can find out the truth?
Once again, thanks all. I am very open to all your comments.
I don't have much experience with Filipino ways.
I'm still holding out for WU to own up to a problem they caused....slim though it may be.

The permutations have been spinning in my head all day.
The loser is my GF as she said the money wasn't collected and it was for her.
Please continue to shed any further light from your experiences.

This has done my head in and I'm trying so hard not to apportion any blame to my GF. (I don't think it was a good idea to read the articles about scams on this forum).
This is making me feel so uneasy, I am usually strong but when things are out of my hands and I cannot solve the problem, it leaves a nasty taste.
How can I find out what has really happened???
Thanks,
Mike

[andypaul]

So who wrote down the mctn the agent? Do you have any other refrences on the paperwork?

You sure the agent is not on the fiddle?

[aposhark]

The agent "The Money Shop" in Rugby wrote down the MTCN number and then phoned Western Union when I complained in their shop.

Do you think it is possible that an WU agent on the high street is on the fiddle?
By them phoning WU immediately indicates to me that they think WU is the problem.

[andypaul]

The agent "The Money Shop" in Rugby wrote down the MTCN number and then phoned Western Union when I complained in their shop.

Do you think it is possible that an WU agent on the high street is on the fiddle?
By them phoning WU immediately indicates to me that they think WU is the problem.

Well none of us know for sure.

What i find strange is the number you had on the note was incorrect.

So if the number when inputted doesn't work ie incorrect then i would have thought that your gfs uncle couldn't walk in wth an incorrect number with all the ID in the world and get the money.

But the agent says western union said someone claimed the money so someone must have had the correct number and the ID that goes with it:Erm:

[aposhark]

Yes, if it wasn't for this wrong MTCN number, I would suspect the uncle, but it doesn't ring true for him to lie to her like that, so out of character.
I have spoken again to WU tonight and am waiting for them to phone me back.
Thanks :-)

[IainBusby]

I entered this MTCN number into the Western Union web page tracker and it too said that the number could not be found so I could not track the progress of this money transfer

It's possible that because the money had already been claimed that it had gone off the system as far as the web tracking system is concerned.


I went back to the Western Union agent in UK and complained about the bad service because this number was wrong, and could not get an explanation as to why it was wrong

At this point I assume they still couldn't trace the payment.


This agent phoned Western Union who told them that this money was paid out on 16th March 2008, three days after I sent it

Then they say the money has been paid out......

It could be as you initially thought, just a Western Union blunder... I wonder......

The trouble is that some Filipinos think that we in the UK are so wealthy that this sort of sum of money means nothing to us and if her uncle did collect the money and pocket it, he would probably think that you would just write it off without giving it another thought, just like dropping a 5 pence coin in the street, then send another payment to replace it.
I don't know how true it is, but from what I've heard from various sources, this sort of thing is not really thought of as theft, it's just looked upon as a sort of family extension of the kano tax that we all come up against everywhere, everytime we travel to the Philippines.

In conclusion, all I can say is if you have known her long enough and you really trust your girl, just write it off, but make sure she gets her ID sorted out so that any money you send in the future will be and can only be collected by her. Better still, send her P5000 for the maintaining balance and get her to open a PNB account. Then you can transfer money directly into her account either through Western Union, Xoom or directly through PNB Europe if you open an online remittance account with them.

Cheers,

Iain.

[aposhark]

Hello Iain,

I hate being taken for a mug and I also have a big respect for the strength of the family unit in the Philippines.
With these two things in tandem, I have initiated an investigation with Western Union and have told my GF to contact me next time with the truth. I will let the "family" sort this problem out now.
Perhaps it is hard but "you have to start the way you mean to go on."

I met her in January and I have to hope that the love she professes will make her stand up to this blantant rip-off.
I will not be taken for a mug by anyone, better to stay single than be treated badly, and she can now prove what she feels about me.
Perhaps her uncle is much higher in the family hierarchy, but he has caused a big rumpus now.:cwm23:
They say we have tests, well she has a big one now and I did send her money as well as many other things when I was in Cebu.
This whole business has made me mistrust her and she has some bridge-building to make now.
If Western Union admit to some fraud or a mistake, I will be the first to apologize :ARsurrender:, but I will have to wait and see...
We live and learn :cwm24::cwm24:

[andypaul]

Hello Iain,

I hate being taken for a mug and I also have a big respect for the strength of the family unit in the Philippines.
With these two things in tandem, I have initiated an investigation with Western Union and have told my GF to contact me next time with the truth. I will let the "family" sort this problem out now.
Perhaps it is hard but "you have to start the way you mean to go on."

I met her in January and I have to hope that the love she professes will make her stand up to this blantant rip-off.
I will not be taken for a mug by anyone, better to stay single than be treated badly, and she can now prove what she feels about me.
Perhaps her uncle is much higher in the family hierarchy, but he has caused a big rumpus now.:cwm23:
They say we have tests, well she has a big one now and I did send her money as well as many other things when I was in Cebu.
This whole business has made me mistrust her and she has some bridge-building to make now.
If Western Union admit to some fraud or a mistake, I will be the first to apologize :ARsurrender:, but I will have to wait and see...
We live and learn :cwm24::cwm24:


I think your doing the right thing don't throw any accusations at anyone yet just give western union and your Girl friends family chance to own up.

One cousin of my Wife borrowed A phone like Ian says has i had two with me he probably thinks wow Andy won't mind. Of course i was concerned when the phone that stayed in a locked room suddenly had moved where i had left it.

The family almost had a collective seziure and i had to ask him on our last vist to stop appoligizing for borrowing the phone. He meant no harm and presumed it was just like a girl borrowing her girlfriends pair of shoes.

[chino]

i have never had a problem with WU though use Xoom now...

I think it might be a scam... i hope not! Hopefully you will get some more info ina couple of hours!

[aromulus]

[quote=Iainbusby;60138]
Then they say the money has been paid out......

I don't think that WU is at fault here, they have been doing this sort of thing for a fair number of years, and cock-ups of this magnitude are a thing of the past. Too many safeguards in place.




The trouble is that some Filipinos think that we in the UK are so wealthy that this sort of sum of money means nothing to us and if her uncle did collect the money and pocket it, he would probably think that you would just write it off without giving it another thought, just like dropping a 5 pence coin in the street, then send another payment to replace it.
Iain.

I am still of the strong opinion that the uncle wilfully received the money and is telling a lot of porkies.
Iain is right, they seem to think that UK people have an inexhaustible supply of money at their disposal, and if you are not careful you might be treated as a personal ATM machine.
I am sure that your Girl is the innocent party in this, and just a victim of her uncles greed. But confrontation will cause huge family rifts, and you have to be very diplomatic.
Good luck mate

[aposhark]

I received two texts from my gf whilst I was asleep.
She says 100% the money was NOT collected by her uncle and am I calling her a liar?:yikes:
Oh jeez. :Bricks:
She says "sweetheart, f u love me u beleiv me. its hurt 4 me. i love very much, pls beleiv me."
This is ripping me apart. I really fell in love with her.
I don't know what to do. :behead::23_111_9[1]:
I cannot for one minute understand why an uncle who is "looking after her until I return to marry her" would do this to her.
Western Union say it can take up to 3 weeks to investigate the problem.

I am waiting their reponse to my email of yesterday. :Brick::omg::Brick:

:Help1::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo:

[IainBusby]

Hi Mike,
I think you have to tread very carefully at this point if you want to preserve your relationship with this girl. Nobody likes too feel that they have been taken for a mug, but you have to keep a sense of proportion about it.

It's only £100 which in the grand scheme of things is a tiny drop in the ocean in terms of the overall costs of courting, marrying and being married to a Filipina.

I suggest that if you really feel something for this girl and your quite sure from your experiences before this Western Union fiasco that she really loves you, that you write off the money, put it down to experience, move on with you relationship and hope that it turns out to be, as you first though, a Western Union Screw Up.

It's quite obvious from her texts that she's also feeling very hurt about all this. So I suggest that you tell your sorry, that you didn't mean to accuse her and that you want an end to all discussion on the matter, you know, least said, quickest mended etc. But as I said in my earlier post, make sure that she gets her ID sorted out or a bank account set up before you send any more money. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Cheers,

Iain.

[LEAHnew]

Relax... take a deep breath and keep thinking about the lovely moments when you're here:rolleyes::xxgrinning--00xx3:

Local Postal ID or Voter's ID will do for your gf identification, tell her to inquire at there Municipal Office:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[aposhark]

There is something very special about Filipinas.
I mean VERY special. (but I don't want to preach to the converted :))

When we are with them they make us feel like a king, so when we in some way cause them pain (whether intentional or not) we feel the pain too.

I have never met a woman like this, and I worked overseas in 45 countries.
When a Filipina tells you every day that she will be yours forever until the day she dies and that there is no-one else for her, well, you know the story.
This is a completely new world for me, where love for a woman means everything.
I know western women want to be loved but love is EVERYTHING for Filipinas.
I can see that the florist will be very important when she finally comes over after marriage and visa. The joy Filipinas can impart is a million times warmer than anything I have experienced but if we hurt them, their sadness rips your heart out.
I've only been back in the UK 6 weeks and it feels like 6 years.
Her laughter is the nicest thing in the world but her cry takes the legs out from underneath me.
Now where did these ladies get their love from?
We marvel at the overwhelming warmth we see and feel when we are in Barangays with all the children all trying to be in the photos and holding our hand.
This sense of family and community is something I have not experienced in any other place.
I remember going to work in Brunei years back and a colleague married to a Filipina asked
"Are you married?"
no
"Have you been to the Philippines?"
no
"That's why you are not married"

Never a truer word spoken.:)

Mike

[Alan]

I remember going to work in Brunei years back and a colleague married to a Filipina asked
"Are you married?"
no
"Have you been to the Philippines?"
no
"That's why you are not married"

Never a true word spoken.:)

Mike

So, so true! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Al.:)

[chino]

"Are you married?"
no
"Have you been to the Philippines?"
no
"That's why you are not married"

Never a true word spoken.:)

Mike

Have to agree too.. (not married yet)

[kimmi]

hi Aposhark,

am sorry for what had happened with ur experience with WU but I guess whatever the outcome may be take it as a learning experience..

and like sis leah had said, it will be better that ur gf will have her own identification so there will be no third party needed when u send her financial support..

she can get a postal ID from their post office or even her school ID,as long as it is still valid or even NBI Clearance..

[Gie]

I've been using WU for more than 2 years now and no problem like this at all. I send money using WU online and my family can get the Money within minutes. Also I always received notification everytime they pick it up. Hmmmm...:NoNo:

[aposhark]

Hi kimmi,

She went to the mainland but has to back next week with a witness.
There is no post office (nor cars) on her little island. It is so hard for her to do things.
This is why i sent the P8,000+ (which she never received).:angry:
========================================================
Hi Gie,

Who do you receive notification from when they pick it up?
Is this on-line notification or from your family/friend in Phils?



Mike

[kimmi]

its a Notification from the WU Aposhark..

[Gie]

Hi Mike,

I send money through western union online and they (WU) send me notification on my email once the money has been picked up.

[aposhark]

Thankyou to everyone who replied to my original post.
Your comments are gratefully received.

I hope one day to help with other peoples' dilemmas.

When I receive news from Western Union, I will let you know what the outcome was. They said an investigation could be up to three weeks.:rolleyes:

I must learn to not fear the worst and believe the best :doh, and the best is my GF :) She is a star.
I have sent many texts and have phoned Rochelyn and she seems ok with everything now.

Mike

[Mrs Daddy]

Hi aposhark,
when i read your thread title about western union I did open and read it because I was using western union for about a year now and so far I havent got any complains.so I am wondering what happened to the money you sent for your gf!cross finger for the result.hoping you`ll get what you deserve.

[andypaul]

Thankyou to everyone who replied to my original post.
Your comments are gratefully received.

I hope one day to help with other peoples' dilemmas.

When I receive news from Western Union, I will let you know what the outcome was. They said an investigation could be up to three weeks.:rolleyes:

I must learn to not fear the worst and believe the best :doh, and the best is my GF :) She is a star.
I have sent many texts and have phoned Rochelyn and she seems ok with everything now.

Mike

Like thw wiser guys have set no ones going to be harmed due to the money dissapearing. take it easy and relax (easier said and done i know)

Before you know it the ID for your girlfriend will be sorted and then the next step and the next step and then your be muttering under your breath as you walk round a primark loaded down with bags following a certain little lady round.

[aposhark]

....and then your be muttering under your breath as you walk round a primark loaded down with bags following a certain little lady round.

Right now I would give my eye teeth to be able to follow her anywhere:D
Don't remind me when I'm moaning in 6-12 months :cwm24::Rasp::icon_lol:

[andypaul]

Right now I would give my eye teeth to be able to follow her anywhere:D
Don't remind me when I'm moaning in 6-12 months :cwm24::Rasp::icon_lol:

This will be copy and pasted:D

[aposhark]

Hi aposhark,
....so I am wondering what happened to the money you sent for your gf!cross finger for the result.hoping you`ll get what you deserve.


Hi Mrs Daddy,
I have requested Western Union start an investigation, and they have started this. I hope it's a good, fast result :rolleyes:

[Banana]

WU should be able to tell you where the money was paid out. My money is on the nearest WU agent to a family member (not necessarily the uncle)

[A_flyer]

I have requested Western Union start an investigation, and they have started this. I hope it's a good, fast result :rolleyes:
Next time you should try to send thru Western Union online service, I used it twice and the service is great. No hand writing problem, the system give you the number, you can print the receipt and you're advised by e-mail of the status. Less hassle also as you can do it from home.

I hope your problem will be solved in a good manner for you.

[hilda_danao]

Did you get the duplicate copy of WU send money form as well aside from the receipt? The mtcn in the receipt is only 8 digit but it's 10digits in the duplicate copy form. And you need to tell your receiver the 10digits. If you've done it correctly, then i think the problem is with WU either in your uk agent or agent where the money was first intended to be claimed.

[aposhark]

WU should be able to tell you where the money was paid out. My money is on the nearest WU agent to a family member (not necessarily the uncle)

Hi Banana, you've lost me there, maybe my brain has stopped tonight:doh
Can you elaborate pls?

aposhark

[aposhark]

Did you get the duplicate copy of WU send money form as well aside from the receipt? The mtcn in the receipt is only 8 digit but it's 10digits in the duplicate copy form. And you need to tell your receiver the 10digits. If you've done it correctly, then i think the problem is with WU either in your uk agent or agent where the money was first intended to be claimed.

Hi hilda_danao, I received a Western Union/Fexco "Send Money" form with a MTCN of 10 numbers.
I didn't get any other piece of paper from the agent.
This was my first time sending anything with Western Union and it has caused me a lot of grief. I am waiting for their reply to the investigation :cwm34::cwm34:

[aposhark]

Next time you should try to send thru Western Union online service, I used it twice and the service is great. No hand writing problem, the system give you the number, you can print the receipt and you're advised by e-mail of the status. Less hassle also as you can do it from home.

I hope your problem will be solved in a good manner for you.

Hi A_flyer, I will see how it turns out before using WU again.
Thanks for the thought re: solved :)

[lil John]

Hi aposhark, I had the same problem last summer sending a friend some money in Africa and I never got a reply back from WU so I just chalked it up to a learning experience.

[aposhark]

Just an update.

Western Union have contacted me twice via email to tell me the issue is of high importance to them, so I am still waiting on the outcome. I thought it a good idea to mention this as many of you use WU.

I have told my GF that I am waiting for the result of this investigation before I think about sending any more money.

I will believe what WU tell me.

It's just that so much more money will be required if things are to progress that I have to protect myself and have full trust with my GF as she told her uncle to collect the money for her.

I'm sure she would do the same if she was in my position :rolleyes:

Best.......
aposhark

[andypaul]

Just an update.

Western Union have contacted me twice via email to tell me the issue is of high importance to them, so I am still waiting on the outcome. I thought it a good idea to mention this as many of you use WU.

I have told my GF that I am waiting for the result of this investigation before I think about sending any more money.

I will believe what WU tell me.

It's just that so much more money will be required if things are to progress that I have to protect myself and have full trust with my GF as she told her uncle to collect the money for her.

I'm sure she would do the same if she was in my position :rolleyes:

Best.......
aposhark


Only problem with trusting what Western Union (or any company) tell you is they may cover there own backsides. But im sure as a group we could see though any spin they put on it for you.
Make sure you get a real person to inform you and its not an automated email.
I know of many people who have dealt with large companies customer services many are not actually part of the company and are a third party. Some of the answers you get will not be always the full picture.
How often do you ask one customer service person and they say one thing and then another when you ring to confirm tells you something else?

Do get any explantations confirmed by western union. You don't want some call centre bod causing massive aruguments just because they got the wrong end of the stick.

[naome]

yapzzz sometimes western union is not in good service

[naome]

so i advise to be safe just send your money bank to bank though it will take how many days but it is safe compare to money express such as western...

[aposhark]

Only problem with trusting what Western Union (or any company) tell you is they may cover there own backsides. But im sure as a group we could see though any spin they put on it for you.
Make sure you get a real person to inform you and its not an automated email.
I know of many people who have dealt with large companies customer services many are not actually part of the company and are a third party. Some of the answers you get will not be always the full picture.
How often do you ask one customer service person and they say one thing and then another when you ring to confirm tells you something else?

Do get any explantations confirmed by western union. You don't want some call centre bod causing massive aruguments just because they got the wrong end of the stick.

Hi andypaul,
I am dealing directly with Western Union and reminding them frequently on the urgency of this issue.
I am not sending any more money to my GF until this issue is resolved.
I feel it is prudent to ascertain the facts and find out the outcome first.
WU seem to be taking the whole thing seriously.
Of course what I am waiting for is a full explanation from WU.
Then I will be able to move on.
Of course sending any more money via WU depends on their verdict.
It looks like xoom is the way to go....

[aromulus]

It looks like xoom is the way to go....

Yup....:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Tell your girl to get some kind of ID and she can have the money delivered into her hands in cash... Or if she has a bank account, directly into it. And then withdraw it from her bank's ATM.

You can actually use Paypal too...

[aposhark]

Yup....:xxgrinning--00xx3:
Tell your girl to get some kind of ID and she can have the money delivered into her hands in cash... Or if she has a bank account, directly into it. And then withdraw it from her bank's ATM.
You can actually use Paypal too...
Aromulus, thanks for the tips.

I have bad news from Western Union. They confirm the correct payment of the Money Transfer. The receiver's name was correct and the original MTCN number was the same. They say the money was collected 3 days after I sent it.

I have asked my GF to sort the problem out with her uncle and WU now and to tell me when she knows the truth.

I have also said I am breaking off contact until I get the truth.

This has not been easy to do but I cannot be involved with a lady who trusts her uncle to collect the money yet tells me it wasn't collected.
I need trust before any more £ goes over, and more will be required if if if...
I know that there will be a problem there now, but I never lied to her and I don't know the truth.
I know where she lives in Phils is poor and I have compassion for her but I need 100% trust and I do not have this.

The three scenarios that happened were (as I see it):

1. The money was not collected by the uncle.

2. Her uncle took it and lied.

3. She and her uncle conspired together.

Already I am getting sad texts, I have had to ask her to save her money and to only send a text when she has the truth.

The worst thing is the nagging doubt that WU are lying, and that I am making a big mistake.
When is the truth not the truth and vice-versa?

I wanted everything to be simple and above board yet even on my 1st money transfer it went bad. These are the really bad things that LDR gives you, when you just don't know.

I am now looking at the worst case scenarios and not the ones of dreams.

I am not a mug, yet I can't help feeling very sad now :NoNo::bigcry:

[joebloggs]

not an easy one,

her uncle could have kept the money, telling her that he never got the money, keeping it for himself. so your g/f is innocent.

he did get the money, but wouldn't give it to her, what can she do ? probably woludn't tell you anyway if he did refuse to give the money (knowing what trouble that could cause)

why didn't she go with him when he went to collect the money, this is what would worry me.. :NoNo:

not sure you do need ID, if you know the number and answer to the question, i'm sure they would give you the money..

[trends5squared]

sorry to hear that . . . it the money was claimed already. . . for sure that agent in western union will have a copy of who claimed it. let your girl verified it.

sad to say . .. but some filipinos are not trustworthy.

charged it to experience. . .

good luck.

[joebloggs]

sad to say . .. but some filipinos are not trustworthy.


not just filipinos, people everywhere, even family or friends, money is one of the major causes of rows btw friends and families :NoNo:

[Les_lady888]

Aposhark, can you please ask from WU to send you the information of the IDs presented by whoever claimed the money you sent and ask from them too from which WU outlet was the money released? Normally, banks require 2 valid IDs from the beneficiary before they release the remittance proceeds and I believe that goes the same with the other non-bank WU agents. When you will be able to get the infos about the IDs presented from WU, ask your gf what were the IDs her uncle presented when he tried to claim the WU money and where? Compare them with the infos given to you by WU.

Hope that will clear the doubts.

[love8888]

It seems to me that the uncle has scammed the both of you.:doh
Close knit family or not, if money is involved they will stitch each other up.... :omg:

try www.xoom.com (http://www.xoom.com) in future, they will deliver the cash in her hands provided she can prove who she is.
And cheaper than WU...


i've been using this since my Rob recomend this actually they have an excellent service,with tracking who claims the money, time, when,name so nobody can play any game. even now i am still using xoom to direct it to my bank account and got no problem at all.

[ervenescence]

They lied, either the girl or the uncle...whoever. They think that the sender or the Western union are stupid. :NoNo::rolleyes:

[kimmi]

They lied, either the girl or the uncle...whoever. They think that the sender or the Western union are stupid. :NoNo::rolleyes:

:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::NoNo:

[Eljohno]

What if as it has been said that the girl is innocent and its the Uncle who is guilty but i think you need to be strong until the truth finally comes out!!

[andypaul]

Aposhark, can you please ask from WU to send you the information of the IDs presented by whoever claimed the money you sent and ask from them too from which WU outlet was the money released? Normally, banks require 2 valid IDs from the beneficiary before they release the remittance proceeds and I believe that goes the same with the other non-bank WU agents. When you will be able to get the infos about the IDs presented from WU, ask your gf what were the IDs her uncle presented when he tried to claim the WU money and where? Compare them with the infos given to you by WU.

Hope that will clear the doubts.

A very useful Post:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Also like Joe said why didn't your girlfriend go with her Uncle?

[Piamed]

I have used WU and Xoom for 3 years and not had an issue with either. The uncle could be at fault perhaps but the incorrect MTCN is confusing. If you are thinking of marrying a woman let alone a filipina you will have to find constructive ways to raise and confront difficult issues such as this.

Do the offices take copies of the Id or just do quick visual checks?

Good luck

T

[keithAngel]

Having read your last post Aposhark I agree with you that the core issue is trust here.

Your lady may well not be complicit in which case she may well have to decide where her loyalties lay, trust and truth are all we have as a foundation when so far apart.

I had a trust issue myself with a lady and no matter how much i reassured her that I could handle the truth always, her fear wouldnt let her believe this.

Hope it works out for the best ....what ever that is.

[A_flyer]

One of the advantage of using Western Union online for transferring money is that not only you get a e-mail with the MTCN number when you send the money, but when the money is get by the receiver, you get an e-mail (got it at 3h08, just after the receiver got the money) giving the detail (Relever Notification e-mail) giving the exchange rate used and who get the money... and you get more details on your online transaction report.
Other advantage (and not the last one), you can do it from your best rocking chair near the fireplace at home while it's raining hard outside...

I'm not using it often now as bank transfer rate is better (it's just in case of emergency). My Wife has a PNB Europe account (in Pesos, based in the Philippines) so we transfer from her French Bank account to her PNB account thru PNB Europe (2 days for French bank transfer and 1 day for PNB ) and then transfert to her Mother's account. But of course it’s do not apply to Aposhark (yet!).

I wish he can sort out what happen really (sorry but I'm not trusting this Uncle...) and determine who is the liar!

[Pepe n Pilar]

Sorry to hear abt this. I had experienced claiming money from WU and they ask for at least 2 valid id's. Then the signature of the recipient on the receipt and the lady in the counter said it will be sent back to the sender. You can find out if whoever of them lied to you (the uncle or your gf) or maybe there was a conspiracy. Why didn't your gf go with her uncle to claim the money? It's her money and so she should go with him not just bec she doesn't have any ids to present. Maybe they both think you won't even bother to investigate and just put the blame on WU. MTCN is very important thus the chance of committing error about this should be given an investigation. Hope you willl soon find out where the mistake was.

[aposhark]

First of all I would like to thank everyone who commented after my last message. Messages of support are appreciated.
Rather than reply individually, this is the state of play now:

This is a paragraph from Western Union: Quote:
The transfer was paid according to Western Union’s service policies, and the terms and conditions outlined on the back of the “To Send Money” form.

Due to privacy laws applicable to this money transfer transaction, we are unable to disclose the recipient’s identification details. Only a law enforcement agency inquiring on your behalf may request the receiver's identification and the exact payout location. Law enforcement may contact Fexco Money Transfer Ltd directly for any further information regarding the payment of this transfer that may be required as part of their investigations. Unquote

I have sent an email to WU asking for them to send me the signed receipt from the WU agent in Phils. They said this can take up to 2 weeks.

I have sent my GF texts to tell her that if marriage is our plan, I need 100% trust and I am not getting it.
I told her that someone is lying and that I will not speak to her on the phone until I get the truth.
As you can imagine, I am getting so many "missed calls" as I am not answering her for now. She normally calls me and I call back at 7p per minute. All this has stopped until the truth is out.
She is sending me texts still saying neither her nor her uncle received the money! She is sad.

I will not talk with her until she "comes clean" and tells me the truth. I have told her not to text me as it is costing her, and that the next text I want to receive contains the truth.

The £100 I can write off, it's the trust in what we have been planning together that is the issue for me now.

What I do next I have no idea at the moment. It all depends on how the truth is delivered and what the excuse is.

I know how her family lives. It is a small but clean house on a small island.
I understand poverty (I worked in 13 West African countries and Phils is more advanced than West Africa) but I think she is not looking at the bigger picture. To be honest, all this has got me thinking about scenarios that I have read other people have endured like the GF having a Filipino BF etc.
This is what mistrust does. The perils of LDR.

Assuming there are no problems that I just mentioned, perhaps she just doesn't really know how much her life will change coming to UK.
We have talked about marriage and obtaining her visa and she tells me she loves me etc.....and seems so thankful and happy to be planning things.
She said she would marry me in her island so I do believe that.

Now obviously it could still be the uncle, or both of them as they are tight as a family.

My silence is golden. It is the best thing I can do at the moment.

Thanks again, will report back.

[aromulus]

Even money on the uncle..........:D

[keithAngel]

one thing ive discovered 3.6p per minuit on 1st phone cards they do take 10p a day service but £10,00 gets about 300 mins from my mobile to hers

[kimmi]

one thing ive discovered 3.6p per minuit on 1st phone cards they do take 10p a day service but £10,00 gets about 300 mins from my mobile to hers

Skype is also cheaper..:)


First of all I would like to thank everyone who commented after my last message. Messages of support are appreciated.
Rather than reply individually, this is the state of play now:

This is a paragraph from Western Union: Quote:
The transfer was paid according to Western Union’s service policies, and the terms and conditions outlined on the back of the “To Send Money” form.

Due to privacy laws applicable to this money transfer transaction, we are unable to disclose the recipient’s identification details. Only a law enforcement agency inquiring on your behalf may request the receiver's identification and the exact payout location. Law enforcement may contact Fexco Money Transfer Ltd directly for any further information regarding the payment of this transfer that may be required as part of their investigations. Unquote

I have sent an email to WU asking for them to send me the signed receipt from the WU agent in Phils. They said this can take up to 2 weeks.

I have sent my GF texts to tell her that if marriage is our plan, I need 100% trust and I am not getting it.
I told her that someone is lying and that I will not speak to her on the phone until I get the truth.
As you can imagine, I am getting so many "missed calls" as I am not answering her for now. She normally calls me and I call back at 7p per minute. All this has stopped until the truth is out.
She is sending me texts still saying neither her nor her uncle received the money! She is sad.

I will not talk with her until she "comes clean" and tells me the truth. I have told her not to text me as it is costing her, and that the next text I want to receive contains the truth.

The £100 I can write off, it's the trust in what we have been planning together that is the issue for me now.

What I do next I have no idea at the moment. It all depends on how the truth is delivered and what the excuse is.

I know how her family lives. It is a small but clean house on a small island.
I understand poverty (I worked in 13 West African countries and Phils is more advanced than West Africa) but I think she is not looking at the bigger picture. To be honest, all this has got me thinking about scenarios that I have read other people have endured like the GF having a Filipino BF etc.
This is what mistrust does. The perils of LDR.

Assuming there are no problems that I just mentioned, perhaps she just doesn't really know how much her life will change coming to UK.
We have talked about marriage and obtaining her visa and she tells me she loves me etc.....and seems so thankful and happy to be planning things.
She said she would marry me in her island so I do believe that.

Now obviously it could still be the uncle, or both of them as they are tight as a family.

My silence is golden. It is the best thing I can do at the moment.

Thanks again, will report back.

Sorry to hear about ur story Aposhark, well it is really hard to trust people nowadays..:doh:NoNo: but since u've asked WU to sent u the signed copy of the receipt and they will gonna send it to u in the next two weeks then it will be easier for u to know who's really saying the truth..

the worst thing is if ur gf connives with her uncle..:NoNo::NoNo::CompBuster:

[Pepe n Pilar]

Just want to share about trust.....I had experienced remittance from my fiance's bank in the UK to my bank back home. Since this bank is not the corresponding bank of my bank so it took awhile before reaching my bank. The amt was sent by my bf Feb. 26 and he was told that it will be credited to my acct 5-7 days the most. I didn't receive it on the said date. We waited until after 2 weeks he said that it is not normal for a remittance to take that long. He checked with his bank and he was told that it was already in the Phils and already in my bank but just doing some checking abt my infos. So i called my bank and was told it wasn't there so i informed my fiance. He did the investigation from his end and so did i. It was only after a month that i was surprised when i was making withdrawals thru the atm that i noticed of a triple balance in my account. I immediately notified him and he called his bank. In this one month ordeal he never lost his trust on me and he's 100%sure it was his banks' fault. Trust is earned through the years, that is very important in a relationship.

[kimmi]

Trust is earned through the years, that is very important in a relationship.

:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[joebloggs]

the difficult thing is not knowing, she could be telling you the truth, as far as she knows it is the truth, thats what her uncle has told her..

i wonder if she was scamming you, there are better ways of doing it than that, saying she never got the money, checks can be done, as your'e already doing it. she could have told you the classic one, where she got mugged when she picked the money up, or she needs money for medical treatment etc... why pick a scam where you can do some checks.. but then why didn't she go with her uncle..

its difficult, i've been in similar situation many times, but looking back now, i know sometimes, the money wasn't for my misses but for someone in her family, and the pressure they put on her to ask me for it, unfair on her and me.. but thats families for you :doh, i don't blame her thou..

[kimmi]

there are lots of points we can see with this situation but in the end only the WU and ur gf can say what's the real truth..

[joebloggs]

there are lots of points we can see with this situation but in the end only the WU and ur gf can say what's the real truth..

can they :Erm:, only person who really knows is her uncle, did he get the money or not.. simple as that...

WU, i've heard in the past have given money to people who know the number and the answer to the question, but WU in the past have been targets of scams, one similar to this, where people transfered the money, and within 20 mins they had gone to collect the money, only to be told someone had already taken it, the cops discovered it was fraud by WU staff in one branch..

[kimmi]

can they :Erm:, only person who really knows is her uncle, did he get the money or not.. simple as that...



the problem is the Uncle is denying it or shall I say claiming that he haven't got any money yet..:NoNo::doh

it is really easy to get money in WU since u only need the control number and some bits of infos from the sender..

and here who is saying the truth??the uncle/gf who's saying that they haven't got the moeny or the WU that's claiming ang preparing for the receipt that it was already claimed??:NoNo::Brick::furious3::CompBuster:

[Les_lady888]

WU, i've heard in the past have given money to people who know the number and the answer to the question, but WU in the past have been targets of scams, one similar to this, where people transfered the money, and within 20 mins they had gone to collect the money, only to be told someone had already taken it, the cops discovered it was fraud by WU staff in one branch..

OK Let me share with you a fact that there was really a recent scam being done by unscrupulous people trying to infiltrate remittance centers and banks so as to get information about pending money transfer control numbers and beneficiaries. This people usually victimize branches in the province. I won't elaborate how they do it but these unscrupulous men were able to penetrate the systems of some remittance centers and banks...and they were really able to collect the remittances by posing as the beneficiary. How they do it? they submitted counterfeit IDs.

That is the real reason why some banks, especially mine :D, are very meticulous and VERY strict in the presentation of valid IDs when claiming remittances.

[keithAngel]

Skype to mobile is 14 p skype to skype is free but like yahoo doesnt always work to much noise and not enough bandwidth

I can use the phonecard where ever i am and from my mobile to hers

[andypaul]

OK Let me share with you a fact that there was really a recent scam being done by unscrupulous people trying to infiltrate remittance centers and banks so as to get information about pending money transfer control numbers and beneficiaries. This people usually victimize branches in the province. I won't elaborate how they do it but these unscrupulous men were able to penetrate the systems of some remittance centers and banks...and they were really able to collect the remittances by posing as the beneficiary. How they do it? they submitted counterfeit IDs.

That is the real reason why some banks, especially mine :D, are very meticulous and VERY strict in the presentation of valid IDs when claiming remittances.


Very good advice my Wife while in Phill had to carry about a million pieces of ID to the bank and she knew the Cashiers and bank manager.

[aromulus]

as far as she knows it is the truth, thats what her uncle has told her..
..

If it looks like a duck.... Walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it must be a duck......:Erm:

Close family or not, as I mentioned before, the uncle has been scamming the both of you....:NoNo:

When money is involved, some family members tend to stitch each other up ..... :NoNo:
He will swear blind that he never saw a pence of all that dosh...

[aposhark]

If it looks like a duck.... Walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it must be a duck......:Erm:

Close family or not, as I mentioned before, the uncle has been scamming the both of you....:NoNo:

When money is involved, some family members tend to stitch each other up ..... :NoNo:
He will swear blind that he never saw a pence of all that dosh...

My GF has told me she is going to the mainland on Monday to meet her uncle at the office where WU said he was supposed to have collected the money.

I have been very determined and told her that if either she or her uncle doesn't admit that the money was collected, then I don't want to be contacted again by phone or text.

I think it is best to be ruthless as marriage, spousal visa, travel and everything related will be expensive and I have lost trust. :rolleyes:

[Mrs Daddy]

oh dear...I am very sorry about the bad result aposhark.as you can see one of them is lying and Its all up to you now what do you want to do with your relationship as I completely agree abput building trust in a relationship.More power to you and God Bless!

[keithAngel]

I dont disagree but on the positive side if its Uncle and she can deal with it you will have sent a very clear message about the standards you require and after all if she is innocent you dont I presume want to throw the babe out with the bathwater

[andypaul]

If the Girlfriend is innocent and i mean she may have had a nagging doubt about her uncle but was not complict in claiming the money was never picked up.
How will the relationship between both you and her be with her Uncle?

Could it raise potential problems later on?

[keithAngel]

like difficult to ask for money you mean?

[andypaul]

I dont disagree but on the positive side if its Uncle and she can deal with it you will have sent a very clear message about the standards you require and after all if she is innocent you dont I presume want to throw the babe out with the bathwater

yeah if you appear a soft touch in phill you will get messed around by some it seems. i sometimes say no or be stingy in some way just to show i won't be messed about.

You will also need to gain respect of some of the blokes in the family i feel as its a much more macho world out there.

[aromulus]

:23_116_6[1]:


like difficult to ask for money you mean?


:doh

[andypaul]

like difficult to ask for money you mean?

Well just thinking of the family setup while aposhark is there and if his mahal came to the UK.

As you know families depend on people far more and with out knowing the setup of the family. Losing a vital cog may make it very difficult for aposhark.

For example who would travel with Aposharks mahal when she needs to vist the CFO, DFA, Manila. Its not like popping from england to scotland on a train, particularly for a lone young lady.

Also people can hold grudges for a long time.

[kimmi]

Well just thinking of the family setup while aposhark is there and if his mahal came to the UK.

As you know families depend on people far more and with out knowing the setup of the family. Losing a vital cog may make it very difficult for aposhark.

For example who would travel with Aposharks mahal when she needs to vist the CFO, DFA, Manila. Its not like popping from england to scotland on a train, particularly for a lone young lady.

Also people can hold grudges for a long time.

:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[keithAngel]

Well just thinking of the family setup while aposhark is there and if his mahal came to the UK.

As you know families depend on people far more and with out knowing the setup of the family. Losing a vital cog may make it very difficult for aposhark.

For example who would travel with Aposharks mahal when she needs to vist the CFO, DFA, Manila. Its not like popping from england to scotland on a train, particularly for a lone young lady.

Also people can hold grudges for a long time.

Its an interesting concern, of course if the Uncle is culpable he may quite rightly feel ashamed and want to repair the damage Im sure the Victims of this would not hold a grudge and everyone could move on.

[andypaul]

Its an interesting concern, of course if the Uncle is culpable he may quite rightly feel ashamed and want to repair the damage Im sure the Victims of this would not hold a grudge and everyone could move on.


I was thinking if he felt humliated, remeber this is a macho phill not new man brit.

If you just let him off your giving a bad signal imo.

Saying if you con Aposhark out of money it don't matter he will just forget.

A very tricky situation for all concerned

[keithAngel]

Ah you think a more bone crunching solution would be in order or hand amputation, perhaps the ladies can advise on proper behavior to gain respect in the wider family

[aposhark]

It is a strange feeling to be part of a soap opera when you are in the middle of it :cwm24: Life has become very complicated when it should be so easy.

I understand that there could be a problem in the family, there definitely is:omg: and I have to find out what it IS :omg:
My GF has to admit it was collusion all along (which I can't imagine she would admit to, or to blame the uncle which would be difficult to do also.
I know she is in a terrible quandry, but it it is a quandry that was made over there!

This was my first money transfer to a lady who speaks to me every day and who wants to marry me, so this missing money still doesn't make sense to me.

I still have to wait for her news from WU on Monday.

I am starting to believe she knew all along, but what a silly way of obtaining money if it was coming to her all along anyway.

If the uncle is to blame, which I obviously hope so, I will just have to ask for him not to be involved with me in any shape or form.

She must be feeling as terrible as me as she is always professing innocence. Why would she do this with a promising future in England ahead of her, where she can work and send money back to her family? It is a mystery to me. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::Cuckoo:

[aposhark]

Even money on the uncle..........:D

I just hope you are right aromulus.
It is the best outcome:rolleyes:

[keithAngel]

It is very difficult to project oneself into the way others experience there lives

Having been in the Thai scene a fair bit some of the stories and escapades are amazing including one of my favourites a guy who went to meet his lady and was effectively held in the village until he came up with the dowry

He didn't know where he was ,the name of the place or speak the language
and his desperate attempts via cell phone sound absurd in hindsight as the battery ran down and his mate tried to get the tourist police involved

Your Lady may have had extreme pressure put on her and have been faced with a huge conflict of loyalties you may never know but its an opportunity also for her to see your strength and commitment to working through stuff

People who live at the extremes of poverty have different ways to prioritize and consequence is something to deal with tomorrow survival today is the name of the game.

To me that doesn't mean going along with anything but understanding that's how it is gives us a different context to work with and perhaps more compassion

[aposhark]

It is very difficult to project oneself into the way others experience there lives

Having been in the Thai scene a fair bit some of the stories and escapades are amazing including one of my favourites a guy who went to meet his lady and was effectively held in the village until he came up with the dowry

He didn't know where he was ,the name of the place or speak the language
and his desperate attempts via cell phone sound absurd in hindsight as the battery ran down and his mate tried to get the tourist police involved

Your Lady may have had extreme pressure put on her and have been faced with a huge conflict of loyalties you may never know but its an opportunity also for her to see your strength and commitment to working through stuff

People who live at the extremes of poverty have different ways to prioritize and consequence is something to deal with tomorrow survival today is the name of the game.

To me that doesn't mean going along with anything but understanding that's how it is gives us a different context to work with and perhaps more compassion

Very perceptive keithAngel.
Maybe it's because I am a white Brit, but in my experience, people who squash the "golden egg" need their heads testing.
Now I know I'm no big catch, but love was supposed to be in the air and is still professed to be so until "her dying day".
This was the start of her long (love-filled) journey and it has stalled at the first hurdle. :doh

[andypaul]

Ah you think a more bone crunching solution would be in order or hand amputation, perhaps the ladies can advise on proper behavior to gain respect in the wider family

No a cold shoulder was more my idea and cutting him off.

But thats easier said than done.

But to carry on as if nothing happened would make aposhark look weak and as if he accepts it.
Possibly giving others the signal that if i con whitey boy he won't do or say a thing.

Its like the fine line of not letting people push you about in the street/school playground with out
fighting everyone you meet.

Ask the mahal about Tampo a very effective weapon and one i have used for years in a different ways
when you cut of human beings many find that far worse than a punch in the face. As most of us are social animals
who lack of social interaction is one of the worst punishments ie prison and solidarity confinement

[aposhark]

To be honest, I wouldn't care "a monkeys" if it was the uncle all along. I would just prefer not to meet him again.
The object of my desire is this lovely young lady and if she was here with me in England, he would be a distant memory for me.
I know he is important to her though, but the answer to this silly little soap opera isn't out yet.
She has been very conspicuous by her silence for a couple of days, so I know something is up.
She said they will visit WU on Monday and soon after I should have news.

Thanks for the posts, I'll get back Tues/Wed :rolleyes:

[andypaul]

Very perceptive keithAngel.
Maybe it's because I am a white Brit, but in my experience, people who squash the "golden egg" need their heads testing.
Now I know I'm no big catch, but love was supposed to be in the air and is still professed to be so until "her dying day".
This was the start of her long (love-filled) journey and it has stalled at the first hurdle. :doh

It is true in places where life is harder people don't look at the big picture/ the long term.

If you give the wife a little extra money to send she will look after the family and its rare unless a huge amount anything will be spared and saved. Its all needed in most cases.

We have a few things we have on the "we would like to get list" normally.

Say the toaster needs replacing, be nice to have a new car. In the main achevable if we really need. But for the main we have all the necessary things in life and the rest are extras.
when i hand a bonsus to the home helps (the wife doesn't call them maids anymore she is turning western lol) they already have a list as long as their arm of things that they are relived to pay off or purchases.

I still feel the money was needed for esential payment of something or things a what they thought was a little white lie was told and now its all blown up in everyones faces. No one can back down with out looking bad.

[keithAngel]

As i said to my lady today when she pouts she looks even more beautiful so I have to annoy her sometimes just to get that look......pst guys if you like something your not supposed to it may stop sooner I have found.

Social exclusion has its uses, and I use it professionally to modify behavior but fear of it is stronger than the execution.

[andypaul]

To be honest, I wouldn't care "a monkeys" if it was the uncle all along. I would just prefer not to meet him again.
The object of my desire is this lovely young lady and if she was here with me in England, he would be a distant memory for me.
I know he is important to her though, but the answer to this silly little soap opera isn't out yet.
She has been very conspicuous by her silence for a couple of days, so I know something is up.
She said they will visit WU on Monday and soon after I should have news.

Thanks for the posts, I'll get back Tues/Wed :rolleyes:

What ever happens I hope the truth is discovered so you can move on with no nagging doubts :)

[Eljohno]

One thing you need to keep in the back of your mind is the fact that you are still not sure if your g/f is in anyway involved but a strong stance from yourself will i hope bring the truth out in the open!!

[ervenescence]

Whose the real culprit? whoever did it, I doubt they'll admit it because they feel embarrased from being dishonest, and tried to persuaded you that their innocent. :rolleyes:
But if one of them said,.. oh yes I did! what you gonna do? just shrugged off as if something is unimportant or nothing happen. Or should you get mardy?

Learn, forget, and forgive. Moving on is the best thing to do, and be careful next time.

[aposhark]

Whose the real culprit? whoever did it, I doubt they'll admit it because they feel embarrased from being dishonest, and tried to persuaded you that their innocent. :rolleyes:
But if one of them said,.. oh yes I did! what you gonna do? just shrugged off as if something is unimportant or nothing happen. Or should you get mardy?

Learn, forget, and forgive. Moving on is the best thing to do, and be careful next time.

Yes, I have been very strong about this and told my GF that I only want to hear about this issue when she has received the money. She is visiting WU tomorrow with her uncle. I have asked her to chase up her ID for the future.

Can she open a bank account with one ID or does she need two ID's?
Which bank is best/easiest for her?

[Eljohno]

If things work out and she is not the one who scammed you then if she starts a pnb bank account you can send money online that is cheaper than Western Union..

[andypaul]

Yes, I have been very strong about this and told my GF that I only want to hear about this issue when she has received the money. She is visiting WU tomorrow with her uncle. I have asked her to chase up her ID for the future.

Can she open a bank account with one ID or does she need two ID's?
Which bank is best/easiest for her?

Your GF can get a GFMC card from PNB so doesn't need to open an account.

Its a card where you load money onto from the UK and she can drawn from ATM.

http://www.pnbeurope.com/GFMC.htm

If you deal with PNB make sure you have some patience and double check and verify everything they do.
We use them

[aposhark]

If things work out and she is not the one who scammed you then if she starts a pnb bank account you can send money online that is cheaper than Western Union..

Hi Eljohno, I just have to wait until tomorrow for her news. This is such a weight on my mind as she constantly says her uncle never got the money.
She will be with him at the WU agent tomorrow and I really want to hear some good news. :rolleyes:
I broke off phone contact for a few days because of this problem and she said she was so bored not hearing my voice and wanted to die. :yikes:
I am either heading for a big fall (emotionally as the £100 isn't the real issue in the bigger picture) or a beautiful marriage to a fantastic girl.
We are speaking or texting every day again so the lines of communication are still open.
I remain puzzled and will only send another transfer to a bank if I get positive news.....:cwm3::Cuckoo::cwm3:

[aposhark]

Your GF can get a GFMC card from PNB

Thanks andypaul, I will look into this :)

[andypaul]

Thanks andypaul, I will look into this :)

The pleasures all mine and im hoping that the GF and uncle between them sort it out :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[aposhark]

I have some great news!

I have just spoken with my GF and her uncle and he did collect the money when Western Union said he did :omg::omg:

I am still not exactly sure what happened, my GF said it was her mistake and she had "shame" to me and her uncle. Her English is not 100% and neither is her uncle's; it can lead to all sorts of problems as this has done. Now if I was dealing with an English person it would be easier to ascertain what happened, but I am chatting with my future Filipina wife and I just think I will have to make things even plainer in my instructions. She is now going for the ID then opening a bank account later.
To be honest, I haven't slept very well with all this hanging over us. A LDR can be so difficult at times and I was getting quite depressed as I couldn't understand what, for me, was something simple.

I spoke with her uncle and he said he did get the money back in the middle of March! Why my GF didn't understand is beyond me. I'm just so happy she has it now. I just feel that the business of a close-knit Filipino family is something I will have to patiently try to understand.
It was only sorted out when the uncle and her travelled from two different islands to get to the WU on the mainland.
I do know that my GF shows a lot of respect to her uncle, almost deference at times.

I would like to thank everyone who took time to send replies to this thread. I am just so very relieved, happy and back on track with my beautiful (crazy) girlfriend. I have told her she owes me the biggest kiss for all this intrigue.....

aposhark

[Alan]

Phew! Glad it all turned out ok?

One question though - why didn't the uncle tell her that he had collected and then give her the money? (Or did this actually happen and I am missing the obvious?)

Al.:)

[aposhark]

:icon_lol:
Phew! Glad it all turned out ok?

One question though - why didn't the uncle tell her that he had collected and then give her the money? (Or did this actually happen and I am missing the obvious?)

Al.:)

Hi Alan,
I wish I knew what the obvious was myself!

I just remember when we went for a meal in a very big plush house in the sitio that was owned by my GF's auntie, that even though everyone knew we were an "item", my GF disappeared and never sat by my side until the meal was finished. We were all older than her and I had the feeling that she was showing respect by not imposing on the occasion, as if it wasn't really her place to be there.
I get the feeling that she shows her uncle a level of respect that goes beyond anything I have witnessed before. She was like this with everyone there who was older however.
There are so many imponderables, her shyness combined with her elegant strength.
My guess now is that she didn't like to ask direct questions of her uncle and things were only resolved when they met face-to-face at my request.
I think the fact that they were on different islands had a part to play in the saga.

I am just so relieved :D:D:icon_lol::Cuckoo::Cuckoo:

[Eljohno]

It still seems a bit confusing to me, did he not say all along that he did not take it but is now coming clean because of the evidence against him?

Make sure that it was a simple mistake other than being scammed out of that money by people who have been caught.

Of course if it is just a misunderstanding then i wish you all the best!!

[aromulus]

The thick plottens...............:Erm::Erm::Erm:

[keithAngel]

I have noticed with my lady that there are somtimes inconsistancies in a current conversation compared to my memory of a previous

When I mention this (understatement) we go through an uncomfortable phase Its always around her projections about how i might be judging her past.but i just reassure and I think this is begining to pay off in that she knows she doesnt have to gild any lillys

I told her from day one that she can ask me anything about my past and i will tell her ,but if she doesnt want to know ,dont ask

The alternative would be to keep repeating pleasant chats without really getting to explore what makes us tick..........I have concluded surpassing difficult stuff leaves us always stronger in our exploration of each other and if neither freaks out on a difficult to digest bit when we meet we will have a better understanding of the other.

If It were my experience that you just had I would be explaining all of the feelings you have experienced without any holding back

[joebloggs]

:NoNo: he's had the money nearly 1 month :yikes:, why didn't he give it to her :Erm:, what was he going to do keep it :Erm:

maybe he never was going to give her the money..

but keep what you send under control, if you don't it will cause problems..

:NoNo:

[aposhark]

It all seems to be problems in communication.

Even today, she was in the mainland and I asked her not to delete any of her e-mails as I will be able to get into the account and print them here in the UK to support evidence of relationship. "Do you understand, darling?" "Yes".
Just received an email from her saying she has printed the emails :cwm24:

I can see I will have mis-communication all the time until her English improves.
I sometimes think she doesn't like to say she doesn't understand something for fear of upsetting me. I wish she would say "Sorry, I don't understand you" then I could explain more fully.

The important thing is that she has the money. In the future, she will get her ID and open a bank account. Either way the ID will enable her to be the one to receive money from me directly.

She apologised profusely when she was on the mainland with her uncle. If I heard "sorry" once, I heard it ten times, and "I shame" (with laughs at the same time) too. It was her all along, not giving or getting the correct information from her uncle.

I really do trust her, the money I sent was after I asked her not to work as she had a tummy problem and I wanted her to recuperate.

I am not usually known for my patience, but I will have to be careful not to upset her, she is such a wonderful lady and I want a happy life with her.

So if you bear with me, I think I will have more silly stories as my island beauty and I progress in our romance. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

[joebloggs]

i'm sure your g/f understands english better than you think, my misses speaks and understand english really well, but my stepson, understand every word i say, but it takes him a while to say it in english as he struggles to find the right words :D

[kimmi]

Goodluck Aposhark, I am pretty sure u really love ur gf..best of all goodluck..:)

[andypaul]

i'm sure your g/f understands english better than you think, my misses speaks and understand english really well, but my stepson, understand every word i say, but it takes him a while to say it in english as he struggles to find the right words :D

Remeber English abilty varies greatly Joe in Phills.

Many of the Wifes friends are very well educated and taught in English but its still difficult to communicate to a real Brit in realtime.

With out being disrespectful if your GF aposhark has lived away from a major town in phill and not had a long education, her English is very different to what we would expect.

If she is to have a good relationship with you and possibly come to the UK you need to help her improve her english skills.

Just watching BBC news and sky news wil help trust me

Im glad you have had some answers but like Eljhono and Dom say things are still a bit odd so keep your eyes open just in case.

[keithAngel]

[QUOTE=andypaul;62229]Remeber English abilty varies greatly Joe in Phills.[QUOTE]:omg:

Also remember English ability varies greatly in England as well.

[andypaul]

[quote=andypaul;62229]Remeber English abilty varies greatly Joe in Phills.[quote]:omg:

Also remember English ability varies greatly in England as well.

indeedy:D

Its lucky the T9 is not on, then it gets messy.

[joebloggs]

sure, but for a country thats second language is english and filipinos have grown up watching american tv, his g/f might not be able to speak english as good as she can read or understand spoken english. as my misses family, they all can read english, understand spoken english, from tv or even my manc english, but they find it harder to speak english.

oh and at most degree taught in english ?

don't under estimate the filipino :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[aromulus]

don't under estimate the filipino :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Bang on............:xxgrinning--00xx3:

They should all be awarded honorary degrees in creative accounting.....:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Because they know every trick in the book, and invent some others as they go along, in extracting money from the whiteys.....:rolleyes:

I know for a fact that My in-laws do understand english very well, the problem with them is that they are either shy and afraid to make mistakes or unsure of their capabilities in actually speaking the language.

I couldn't speak to my sis in law for dear life, but if she is on YM she is ever so fluent in english and near enough word perfect.
I put it down to being just shy.

[kimmi]

so this thread is finished already?

[aromulus]

so this thread is finished already?

Where have you been ...???:Erm:

[kimmi]

I am just here waiting for the promised dried fish..also since aposhark forgives his gf already..so everything is ok now, I guess..

[aromulus]

I am just here waiting for the promised dried fish..also since aposhark forgives his gf already..so everything is ok now, I guess..


I am waiting for further developments with bated breath, as I don't think it is all kosher as it sounds....:Erm:
Too much emphasis is given to language barriers now...:NoNo:

[kimmi]

I am waiting for further developments with bated breath, as I don't think it is all kosher as it sounds....:Erm:
Too much emphasis is given to language barriers now...:NoNo:

the same here, Dom..my hubby and I are following this thread and he's teasing me at least he understands my english eventhough I can only say yes or no and dried fish..:doh:doh:icon_lol::icon_lol:

[Pepe n Pilar]

Hi Aposhark, You have started a thread about a week ago about this problem with the Western Union and you just said now that your gf's uncle collected the money in the middle of March? So all along while you and your gf were discussing about where the mistake was, the money is already with her uncle?. If she hardly can't speak English and find it difficult to think of what proper words to say to you, it is very easy to say "Hon i got the money" or i don't have it yet. For filipinos having a strongly knit relationship with family members is not an excuse of keeping the money that doesn't belong to them or approach the elders about an important matter that concerns them. Anyway, i'm glad it finally got into your gf's hands by now.

[kimmi]

Hi Aposhark, You have started a thread about a week ago about this problem with the Western Union and you just said now that your gf's uncle collected the money in the middle of March? So all along while you and your gf were discussing about where the mistake was, the money is already with her uncle?. Is she hardly can speak English and find it difficult to think of what proper words to say to you, it is very easy to say "Hon i got the money" or i don't have it yet. For filipinos having a strongly knit relationship with family members is not an excuse of keeping the money that doesn't belong to you. Anyway, i'm glad it finally got into your gf's hands by now.

that's love sis Iye...he he he he:doh:Erm::icon_lol:

[aposhark]

Hi Aposhark, You have started a thread about a week ago about this problem with the Western Union and you just said now that your gf's uncle collected the money in the middle of March? So all along while you and your gf were discussing about where the mistake was, the money is already with her uncle?. If she hardly can speak English and find it difficult to think of what proper words to say to you, it is very easy to say "Hon i got the money" or i don't have it yet. For filipinos having a strongly knit relationship with family members is not an excuse of keeping the money that doesn't belong to them or approach the elders about an important matter that concerns them. Anyway, i'm glad it finally got into your gf's hands by now.

Hi itsme_iye
I sent my GF a few long texts and asked her to explain in an e-mail (not text) exactly what happened. I asked her to explain why she said her uncle needed the MTCN number when he had collected the money three days after I sent it and why didn't she know that he received it.
I have told her that if we are planning to be married, I need full trust so I need a full explanation.
Yes, the whole thing still rankles with me, and I still want to have full trust with my GF. So, this issue is not over for me yet :rolleyes:

[Eljohno]

Maybe i am barking up the wrong tree but i would still not be happy with the way things turned out as there still seems to be something that has gone on so please make sure that you are able to trust her before committing to marriage.

[aposhark]

Maybe i am barking up the wrong tree but i would still not be happy with the way things turned out as there still seems to be something that has gone on so please make sure that you are able to trust her before committing to marriage.

Hi Eljohno
This is why I have asked her to think very hard, not to text me for a while but to email me the full explanation.
What I do depends on this explanation :rolleyes:

[aromulus]

This is why I have asked her to think very hard, not to text me for a while but to email me the full explanation.
What I do depends on this explanation :rolleyes:

Apart from www.xoom.com (http://www.xoom.com) here is another idea for you...

http://www.mycashplus.co.uk/default.aspx

good luck

[andypaul]

sure, but for a country thats second language is english and filipinos have grown up watching american tv, his g/f might not be able to speak english as good as she can read or understand spoken english. as my misses family, they all can read english, understand spoken english, from tv or even my manc english, but they find it harder to speak english.

oh and at most degree taught in english ?

don't under estimate the filipino :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Far from

When i first started speaking to the Wife i couldn't belive how bad her english sounded after seeing her im so quickly.

Spoken English my wife still has problems with some accents and im sure many Phills on here do. Just as we might understand some phills speaking Tagalog but others would have us :Erm: due to slang and accents.
Look how many yanks cant understand brits.

So like aposhark is doing asking her to email is the best i always found when the wife and I had communcation issues it was best to write letters or emails just to ensure no misunderstandings.

[aposhark]

So like aposhark is doing asking her to email is the best i always found when the wife and I had communcation issues it was best to write letters or emails just to ensure no misunderstandings.

Also, I know that if we start trying to get to the bottom of the problem on the phone, she will start to cry, and that makes me feel bad.
This is a two-way street: I don't fully understand her on the phone and she doesn't fully understand my English.

I just want this bloody thing to end, yet the stakes (marriage, spousal visa and bringing her to UK) are too high for me to look too far into the future until I know what the real problem was. She has already said it was her fault a month later, but the simple fact was that the uncle received the money three days after I sent it and she said he told her he didn't receive it because of the number :yikes:
I still smell a rat and the rat that I smell is probably the rat that I don't want to smell :cwm24: The trouble is two people were involved there and I still don't know which one or both was the problem.

They both have phones 24/7 so I am bemused. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

[andypaul]

Also, I know that if we start trying to get to the bottom of the problem on the phone, she will start to cry, and that makes me feel bad.
This is a two-way street: I don't fully understand her on the phone and she doesn't fully understand my English.

I just want this bloody thing to end, yet the stakes (marriage, spousal visa and bringing her to UK) are too high for me to look too far into the future until I know what the real problem was. She has already said it was her fault a month later, but the simple fact was that the uncle received the money three days after I sent it and she said he told her he didn't receive it because of the number :yikes:
I still smell a rat and the rat that I smell is probably the rat that I don't want to smell :cwm24: The trouble is two people were involved there and I still don't know which one or both was the problem.

They both have phones 24/7 so I am bemused. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

I would put everything on hold untill she regains your trust.

If she has problems paying the texts text over a load code so as not to put her out of pocket.

No way can you let it stay like this. If a Girlfriend in the UK and her uncle misled you about a sum of money either the same or a slighty greater figure you simply would not stand for it.
A mate would be seriously blanked.

Your taking a risk even just keeping in contact as from my distant viewpoint you want to be convinced everything is ok which you might belive if you stay chatting.

I personally would do one at least for a serious period of time, your taking a huge risk of getting sucked in. I don't think either is a professional scammer. But like any kid learns if they can get away with something once....

[aposhark]

I would put everything on hold untill she regains your trust......I personally would do one at least for a serious period of time, your taking a huge risk of getting sucked in. I don't think either is a professional scammer. But like any kid learns if they can get away with something once....

great advice andypaul! I will wait until I get a full written explanation of what happened and in the meantime ignore the pleading texts. After all, I was the one who sent the money. :rolleyes: I have a gut feeling that I will not find out who caused this problem, I feel like I am :Brick: The money did "appear" when I threatened her with breaking off contact and to not treat me as a "stupid kano ATM machine".:cwm3::cwm3:
I believe she loves me, but I feel I am battling against forces of poverty which I have never dealt with before.

[joebloggs]

but I feel I am battling against forces of poverty which I have never dealt with before.

tell me about it :doh :icon_lol::D:icon_lol:

pleading texts ? is she asking you for more money :Erm:

[keithAngel]

great advice andypaul! I will wait until I get a full written explanation of what happened and in the meantime ignore the pleading texts. After all, I was the one who sent the money. :rolleyes: I have a gut feeling that I will not find out who caused this problem, I feel like I am :Brick: The money did "appear" when I threatened her with breaking off contact and to not treat me as a "stupid kano ATM machine".:cwm3::cwm3:
I believe she loves me, but I feel I am battling against forces of poverty which I have never dealt with before.

I spent some hours yesterday on this blog and its rebuttal heavy stuff

http://tierramariaestates.blog.co.uk/?tag=tierra-maria-estates

[Pepe n Pilar]

Hi Aposhark, After her explanation on email and you ignoring her pleading textes then you can now have your conclusion on what had happened. It is still you that can determine which is which.
If on a small amount a person can't be trusted on what more on huge amounts and with anything pertaining to properties or other investments? We are all hoping to find someone to be with for the rest of our lives, someone who is trustworthy thus any small details that touches trust should be given an attention. I know you have a good heart and is alien on any forces of poverty in the Philippines, nevertheless i hope you still should be keen on these matters as poverty is not an excuse of not being trustworthy. Good luck.....

[aromulus]

Poverty does not mean that you have to jeopardize your integrity and honesty. :NoNo:

[joebloggs]

Poverty does not mean that you have to jeopardize your integrity and honesty. :NoNo:

easy to say dom from wealthy wales :D

:xxparty-smiley-004:

[aromulus]

easy to say dom from wealthy wales :D

:xxparty-smiley-004:

I had some real bad times in my youth, slept under bridges, in waiting rooms at roma Termini railway station, in the coliseum, inside scrap cars in scrapyards, with all my belongings in a BOAC blue shoulder bag.... (I don't suppose many people remember those...)
And stealing was NOT an option entertained by me at that time or ever.
I washed dishes in restaurants for a few pennies a day and food. After that I found another job still washing dishes but with some sort of accomodation thrown in. I think your dog lives the life of Riley in comparison .....

Many things have happened since, but I managed to stay on track. So in my view one can be starving poor, but still keep his personal pride in being honest.

[joebloggs]

:xxgrinning--00xx3:


what you don't tell lies dom ? not even little ones :yikes:, no white lies :yikes:

thats why we have social services in the uk, i'm not defending anyone who is dishonest, but if you've got a family to feed, many will do anything it takes to feed them... :cwm24:

my misses would never take me to the :censored: of manila, told me it's bad enough for her to see the :censored: some people have to live in..

[Piamed]

Many things have happened since, but I managed to stay on track. So in my view one can be starving poor, but still keep his personal pride in being honest.

I agree totally; poverty does not have a direct relationship with dishonesty. Greed however, does.

By the way I still see those plastic BOAC bags being carried by the occasional elderly traveller. I've also seen similar Puma and Addidas versions lately.

T

[joebloggs]

pride will not feed your kids, neither will the gov of the phils..

my point was and is, its easy for us to sit here in 7th richest country in the world, when many or all of us have no idea what poverty is.

as for poverty in the phils. well ask my misses about how many babies and kids she has seen been taken out of hospital because the parents couldn't pay for the medicine or medical bills, knowing that they wouldn't live long, and how many times her and her interns have sat taking it in turns using hand operated ventilator in their own time to keep babies alive because the parents couldn't afford to pay for the automatic one :cwm24:

[Piamed]

pride will not feed your kids, neither will the gov of the phils..

my point was and is, its easy for us to sit here in 7th richest country in the world, when many or all of us have no idea what poverty is.

as for poverty in the phils. well ask my misses about how many babies and kids she has seen been taken out of hospital because the parents couldn't pay for the medicine or medical bills, knowing that they wouldn't live long, and how many times her and her interns have sat taking it in turns using hand operated ventilator in their own time to keep babies alive because the parents couldn't afford to pay for the automatic one :cwm24:

Fair point, but consider what proportion of the world is experiencing relative poverty and even extreme poverty. What would the world be like if even 5% of them stole. These people have to make extremely tough decisions everyday that test their characters. How they stay straight is amazing (perhaps faith, philosophy, upbringing, fear).

We, living in the West certainly don't have to make decisions/choices in the same way. But, as much as we cannot comprehend their situations, we must acknowledge that very very few of the people in those situations resort to theft for many reasons. If someone stole some money because their baby was about to die and they needed drugs to save her, I can understand that but would still not condone it, even if I myself would do the same.

I met a lady in the coffee shop opposite the Manila Shangri La. She was crying so I sat down to ask her if she was ok.

She told me her brother-in-law had been diagnosed with a heart condition 5 years earlier and had just died. The family had saved for years to raise the money to enable him to have life-saving surgery. They were unable to so he died, leaving 4 young kids and a wife. They were both professional Veterinarians - the cost of the surgery, $5,000. They never resorted to stealing.

Did the uncle steal to save a life or some other pseudo-nble cause? I don't suspect not.

T

[joebloggs]

true, but some desperate people will do what ever it takes.. and until your in their shoes, you really don't know what you would do or are capable of doing..

and if some whitey whos got more money than sense :Cuckoo: (Me included :doh) well then :D my misses from what i've seen on here, not sure about pete's transfer fee , but scammed me out of more money than anyone else on here :doh

'honest joe'

:bigcry:

[Piamed]

true, but some desperate people will do what ever it takes.. and until your in their shoes, you really don't know what you would do or are capable of doing..


That's very true! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[aromulus]

:xxgrinning--00xx3:


what you don't tell lies dom ? not even little ones :yikes:, no white lies :yikes:

thats why we have social services in the uk, i'm not defending anyone who is dishonest, but if you've got a family to feed, many will do anything it takes to feed them... :cwm24:

my misses would never take me to the :censored: of manila, told me it's bad enough for her to see the :censored: some people have to live in..

We all tell fibs of one sort of the other and we all have some kind of skeleton, small or large, in some dark recesses of some cupboard...:NoNo:

What I was trying to say is that my personal pride would not let me uplift and take possession of someone else property.
No matter how desperate my situation was.

Now...????

Please understand that if I were to find a million quid laying on the ground somewhere and no bugger is looking, well in that case I think, no, I am dead sure I would follow my first instinct put the dosh in a brand new designer Gucci or Lacoste BOAC bag and get the hell out of Dodge city....

But then again, unless one is absolutely brain dead, would leave it alone......:doh

[Pepe n Pilar]

Poverty does not mean that you have to jeopardize your integrity and honesty. :NoNo:


Definitely:):iagree::iagree::iagree:

[andypaul]

pride will not feed your kids, neither will the gov of the phils..

my point was and is, its easy for us to sit here in 7th richest country in the world, when many or all of us have no idea what poverty is.



I think we understand that extreme poverty alters some peoples judgment.

But if you liked/loved someone would you steal off them if they offer to helpl you Joe?

[Pepe n Pilar]

I think we understand that extreme poverty alters some peoples judgment.

But if you liked/loved someone would you steal off them if they offer to helpl you Joe?

We have a saying in the Philippines "para kang nag alaga ng ahas" meaning as if you have a snake as pet. You take care of them and give them food and then it will still bite you to death.:NoNo::NoNo:

[bornatbirth]

You take care of them and give them food and then it will still bite you to death.:NoNo::NoNo:

is that really a snake or a wife:Rasp:

last time i saw my gf a story on the news was a 12 year old girl killed herself u wanna know why because she was poor!
can any of us really now how she was really feeling?

btw doesnt money corrupt all?

[Eljohno]

btw doesnt money corrupt all?


It is the love of money that corrupts people, not money itself!!!

[Piamed]

We have a saying in the Philippines "para kang nag alaga ng ahas" meaning as if you have a snake as pet. You take care of them and give them food and then it will still bite you to death.:NoNo::NoNo:

:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[joebloggs]

if only i knew this b4 i meet me filipina :doh

we have a saying, you don't bite the hand that feeds you

:bigcry:

[keithAngel]

if only i knew this b4 i meet me filipina :doh

we have a saying, you don't bite the hand that feeds you

:bigcry:

But its in my nature said the Scorpian as he and the Frog drowned together

[Alan]

'It's a wise bird that knows its own grandfather!'

Al.:)

[kimmi]

'It's a wise bird that knows its own grandfather!'

Al.:)


:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

oh this thread is going long now,:NoNo::NoNo::doh:doh where can we finally find the rat here that is too smelly and really obvious??:Brick::Brick::Help1::Help1:

[keithAngel]

Errhhh .....underneath the dry fish?

[kimmi]

Errhhh .....underneath the dry fish?

also the shrimp paste...:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

it is really obvious, right??

[LEAHnew]

:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

oh this thread is going long now,:NoNo::NoNo::doh:doh where can we finally find the rat here that is too smelly and really obvious??:Brick::Brick::Help1::Help1:

where's the rat?:Erm::doh:Brick:
Shrimp paste..dried fish smelly talaga:D

[kimmi]

where's the rat?:Erm::doh:Brick:
Shrimp paste..dried fish smelly talaga:D

mare, dont ask for it again, pls..

the rat..the rat..:doh:doh:icon_lol::icon_lol:

[alicat]

[QUOTE=kimmi;62821]mare, dont ask for it again, pls..

the rat..the rat..:doh:doh:ico
:omg::omg::)

[Banana]

aposhark. Let me tell you (again) what has happened. Either she or her uncle has collected the money and thought they could get another £100 out of you by blaming WU. You did well sticking to your guns and they have admitted that they did collect the money.

There is no point in demanding forensic emails from her or anyone else. They will not admit to anything or lose face or cause a relation to lose face.

You can close this chapter and either move on with her or move on.

[sweet_pop]

I think it's a....I don't know...I can only say that the western union cannot attain for misappropriation,,,hmm..I think your gf should be the one to go to western union...well, that's only a suggestion....






"A life here in this world is not about routine or doing something rare,
To cherish and not to compare,
To forgive not to blame,
And to be loving not counting,
Laugh at your mistakes but learn from them,
Have fun with your difficulties but overcome them.


God has reasons WHy he allows you to live.
Have a meaningful life with His Will
To see the beauty that this life gives...."

I have had a really bad experience with Western Union, and I wonder if anyone can offer any advice?

On 13th March I paid £100 & £9.20 commission to a Western Union agent for a transfer to be collected in pesos in Phils (P 8,216.33).
I received a receipt with the usual information on.
The receiver was my GF’s uncle as she does not have an ID yet. I know her uncle and have met him many times.

My GF told me her uncle went to the nearest Western Union office but was refused the funds as they told him the Claim Number was wrong. :angry:
I entered this MTCN number into the Western Union web page tracker and it too said that the number could not be found so I could not track the progress of this money transfer. :NoNo::NoNo:

I went back to the Western Union agent in UK and complained about the bad service because this number was wrong, and could not get an explanation as to why it was wrong. :NoNo::NoNo:
This agent phoned Western Union who told them that this money was paid out on 16th March 2008, three days after I sent it. :cwm24::yikes::cwm24:

My GF has told me once again that her uncle has again told her he could not get the money because the claim number was wrong.

I have contacted Western Union by their website contact page but haven’t received a reply yet after a day.

The UK agent told me that Photo ID is required before the funds are paid out, and in no way anyone else can get the money without the correct ID of the named receiver on the original form.

As you can imagine, at the moment I am totally confused and irritated, even saddened. My GF is saying the money was not collected by her uncle and Western Union is saying the funds were paid out.
Q. How can anyone collect funds when the MTCN number is incorrect?
This is what the uncle told her to tell me.

I don’t want to upset my intended as she said the money still hasn’t been collected by her uncle and I don’t want her to have any problems with her uncle. I understand how close-knit Phils families are.

Any ideas whilst I am waiting for a reply from Western Union?

I have thought about her Uncle getting the funds and not telling her, but if this dreadful scenary is correct, I still don’t know how he could have received the money without the correct claim number. The thought of him withholding the money from her is a terrible thought, and I am doing my best to hold onto the fact that it is a big screw-up by Western Union.

We have talked about marriage and we speak every day on the phone, I just can’t believe she would be involved in anything unsavoury as it wouldn’t benefit her if her future was me! This is really bad for me, my first money transfer with Western Union.

Any thoughts good and bad gratefully received. I am a bit shell-shocked by all this.

Thanks,
Mike[/QUOTE]

[andypaul]

aposhark. Let me tell you (again) what has happened. Either she or her uncle has collected the money and thought they could get another £100 out of you by blaming WU. You did well sticking to your guns and they have admitted that they did collect the money.

There is no point in demanding forensic emails from her or anyone else. They will not admit to anything or lose face or cause a relation to lose face.

You can close this chapter and either move on with her or move on.

Says it all and if you been misled by someone you need to trust implictly....

[IainBusby]

aposhark. Let me tell you (again) what has happened. Either she or her uncle has collected the money and thought they could get another £100 out of you by blaming WU. You did well sticking to your guns and they have admitted that they did collect the money.

There is no point in demanding forensic emails from her or anyone else. They will not admit to anything or lose face or cause a relation to lose face.

You can close this chapter and either move on with her or move on.




Says it all and if you been misled by someone you need to trust implictly....

I agree with both Banana and AndyPaul, I think your gf's uncle either lied to your gf or convinced her that you would just write off this money and send more and neither your gf (if she knew about it) or her uncle thought that this would turn into the sort of issue of trust that it has with you.

I firmly beleive that their perception of our wealth is behind the whole thing and I know that doesen't help you much because you really need to know if you gf is being honest with you.

From what I do know and the impession I get of all Filipina's is one of unquestioning deference to all of their elders and betters and although your gf may be complicit in this attempt to rip you off, I'm sure that the real culprit is her uncle and I think she may have suffererd strong family pressure to go along with it all.

I think that if you still have trust in this girl and wish to continue with this relationship, you have to make sure that if you send more money, that i goes directly to her, is collected by her and after what has gone on with this debacle, you should get her to open a bank account and make sure that she tells her family nothing about what is in her acount, what money you have sent, or have promised to send, or for what purpose.

The marriage and visa process is a very expensive one and you need to know that the money you sent is being spent on what you intended it to be spent on when you sent it!!!
Iain.

[IainBusby]

aposhark. Let me tell you (again) what has happened. Either she or her uncle has collected the money and thought they could get another £100 out of you by blaming WU. You did well sticking to your guns and they have admitted that they did collect the money.

There is no point in demanding forensic emails from her or anyone else. They will not admit to anything or lose face or cause a relation to lose face.

You can close this chapter and either move on with her or move on.




Says it all and if you been misled by someone you need to trust implictly....

I agree with both Banana and AndyPaul, I think your gf's uncle either lied to your gf or convinced her that you would just write off this money and send more and neither your gf (if she knew about it) or her uncle thought that this would turn into the sort of issue of trust that it has with you.

I firmly beleive that their perception of our wealth is behind the whole thing and I know that doesen't help you much because you really need to know if you gf is being honest with you.

From what I do know and the impession I get of all Filipina's is one of unquestioning deference to all of their elders and betters and although your gf may be complicit in this attempt to rip you off, I'm sure that the real culprit is her uncle and I think she may have suffererd strong family pressure to go along with it all.

I think that if you still have trust in this girl and wish to continue with this relationship, you have to make sure that if you send more money, that i goes directly to her, is collected by her and after what has gone on with this debacle, you should get her to open a bank account and make sure that she tells her family nothing about what is in her acount, what money you have sent, or have promised to send, or for what purpose.

Iain.

[Banana]

2 days without an update. I feel cheated :D

[kimmi]

2 days without an update. I feel cheated :D

:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[jencha8569]

wow! this thread keeps moving and moving.
so long..hehe

[kimmi]

this is the longest thread I think since I was a member..

[aromulus]

this is the longest thread I think since I was a member..

He will post when he has something to say, I suppose.

[jencha8569]

same here ate kim so far the longest
whew!!!

[keithAngel]

What was it about again:Erm::Erm:

[jencha8569]

What was it about again:Erm::Erm:

lol :Brick::ARsurrender::Erm:

[aposhark]

I agree with both Banana and AndyPaul, I think your gf's uncle either lied to your gf or convinced her that you would just write off this money and send more and neither your gf (if she knew about it) or her uncle thought that this would turn into the sort of issue of trust that it has with you.

I firmly beleive that their perception of our wealth is behind the whole thing and I know that doesen't help you much because you really need to know if you gf is being honest with you.
From what I do know and the impession I get of all Filipina's is one of unquestioning deference to all of their elders and betters and although your gf may be complicit in this attempt to rip you off, I'm sure that the real culprit is her uncle and I think she may have suffererd strong family pressure to go along with it all.
I think that if you still have trust in this girl and wish to continue with this relationship, you have to make sure that if you send more money, that i goes directly to her, is collected by her and after what has gone on with this debacle, you should get her to open a bank account and make sure that she tells her family nothing about what is in her acount, what money you have sent, or have promised to send, or for what purpose.
Iain.

Hello, sorry for the long delay with an update. The "3" network was hitting me for extra costs online above the 3GB limit.

I will draw a close to this thread if I may, but with thanks to all who commented.

Well, my girlfriend finally told me it was the uncle that caused the problem.
She was very upset to have to tell me but I had to find out.
That is enough for me now. She will get her ID soon (she has been over to the mainland 4 times now and keeps on trying to get it without luck) and I will transfer directly to her in the future so I know who I am dealing with.
There are so many other things that make me trust her and it would take too long to list all those, suffice it to say that I trust her.
We are making plans to marry and we talk most days on the phone. :)

Onwards and upwards,
aposhark

[keithAngel]

Glad things have worked out for you and you are able to reach the info you needed all the best:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[bornatbirth]

good news in the end,i hope your relationship with ur gf wasnt damaged to much and try not to think the rest of her family will be the same!

[Terry77]

Hi Mike

i hope all your troubles are with western union and not with your g/f

my first filipina love took me for a right mug and it hurt very much, i would not listen to anyone who told me different as i was head over heels in love and she was so sweet with me.

it took me 3 months to get the truth as she had other relationships and when i got the truth she tried to make it to be my fault for leaving her there alone, it also took me 6 months to get over it after forgiving her twice,

now i have met a very honest girl who i am marrying this year, please dont get me wrong as most are very honest people but you can be blinded with love, I HOPE IT IS W/Us FAULT but if you find out it is the outher way then you have a hard problem to sort from my expirence i got many lies for months and when the truth came out it was my fault for coming back without her.

sorry for these words but your heart will tell you in the end
Terry

[aposhark]

Hi Mike

i hope all your troubles are with western union and not with your g/f

my first filipina love took me for a right mug and it hurt very much, i would not listen to anyone who told me different as i was head over heels in love and she was so sweet with me.

it took me 3 months to get the truth as she had other relationships and when i got the truth she tried to make it to be my fault for leaving her there alone, it also took me 6 months to get over it after forgiving her twice,

now i have met a very honest girl who i am marrying this year, please dont get me wrong as most are very honest people but you can be blinded with love, I HOPE IT IS W/Us FAULT but if you find out it is the outher way then you have a hard problem to sort from my expirence i got many lies for months and when the truth came out it was my fault for coming back without her.

sorry for these words but your heart will tell you in the end
Terry

Hi Terry, as you will see, the problem was with the uncle and this episode is finally over.

Thanks for the reply and comment though :)

aposhark

[ervenescence]

Thread Close


End off...:)

[kimmi]

Thread Close


End off...:)

I second the motion...:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::doh:doh:icon_lol::Help1:

[vrn]

Hi Aposhark,

My husband used to send me money through WU when I was still in the Philippines and we never encountered any problem. Just be patient and wait for the WU investigation, you'll have the answer soon.

[vrn]

ouch! thread is closed...:Brick:

sorry for my previous reply, I didn't go further...:doh

I'm happy for you Aposhark, at least you have finally found the answer.

Whew! such a long thread....

[amyburple]

Good Luck to the both of you^^,
Best Wishes. Long distance relationship needs wide wide understanding and moreeeeeeeeeeee PATIENCE! Love RULES:Hellooo::xxgrinning--00xx3::Hellooo: