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marylen
1st December 2008, 12:42
It's been a long while since i posted a month way back, I've been asking for some kind of tips, ideas or share some of your expertise on how to cope up the loneliness..yah this is a quite different issue to me as its not about application sort of thing, i've been there done that already, done enough more than what it is to be like...and its well paid off although its a bit contrary as what i expect to be like as such. Well...not to the extent that I regret it for acquiring my goal up to the last end.(yea this is what i want to be with my husband and start building a new set of family of our own.) I got it in fact!
Allow me to give a lil description on how things started up till then up to the last minute. | still have all the memories stored up in mind, lets start with the day that I am almost getting so crazy filling up my application which all i wanted is to be in the right track, gathering all the irequired documents and feed up with much information and with all the helps from the people here I got it all so easy with no hassles anyway. I can relate with those people that been started at just now and give all out their best. yeah fortunately enough I got the visa issued month way back October 21, 2008 with no interview at most. Maybe some people will say I am quite lucky indeed, oh yea maybe I am for some reason that I am having my first baby to be born on mid-january.I just didn't give more importance on how things went so well instead of complaining the other way around. Everything is quite in order in God's own perfect time. I know I coudn't ask for more and never i could ask him to change all this things back after all. I do really love my new life with me now,nothing to argue about, just that I feel a bit missing part of my life.
Later after months passed for total of 10th weeks and 3 days got the visa delivered by post, at that moment of time I am not surely know what exactly the feelings are or do i need to be happy at last, yeah a feast day happen with smiles painted on, but you people don't know the feelings I feel deep within my heart, inspite of the laughters I've shared to anyone whom I tried to interact with especially with my family that truly became the best part of ME. They are so darely to me.

Nov.01, husband came all way from uk to phili just to fetch me so it would be so easy for me to travel thousand miles away to the fact as well that I am struggling hard if he would let me allow to travel alone by myself as I am 28 weeks pregnant by then, opsssssss.....would be so real hard really to anyone whose same preggie as me, yea day comes as we're here at home with my family spending the last minute of my day with them before facing the next chapter of my life as i have no idea what it would be gonna be like. We just rented an accommodation stayed for 2 nights before saying goodbye to all. We did things that I/We truly enjoyed most, spending quality time with them is what it all matters with me anyway, staring at there eyes I could see the pain in them which I knew they only tried to be act as normal as what it should be. Yeah Nov.03 comes....its a real big day for me, my last day ever with them in real, so much in pain, feel like in vain, I want to hold them close to me and to assure things that whatever things happen I am just right here then for them to feel my presence though not in real but emotionally and spiritually they are all in guiding safe deeply inside my heart. I truly gonna miss my parents, although sometimes me and mom argued so many times for some mainly reason but totally not a big deal just a quite normal thing between mom-daughter relationship, yeah miss my dad as well, I could say that he is not the perfect one dad for us, I am not close to him yeah which no one can blame as ive not seen him during my infant/childhood years..well those memories fade up as we already made it up all and done such a great time together, I do miss my sisters, my only two sisters, much more the youngest one age 15 as of now and so as with my only one brother age 22, I accept we're having a lot of fight , a lot of disagreement but it turns up so real well after then which i truly believe the saying goes that blood is thicker than water ...I didnt mean that i won't gonna miss my other one sister but not long to go now as shes also coming over here in next couple of months, going to get married a man from England so then at last I have her here with me same place that would help me to ease the pain. I miss my grandma, shes mean a lot to me, I grown up and stayed almost all my life with her, shes my companion back home, I look after with her most of my times when i was still in pinas, feed her up with some foods and always have her daily medication at hand which she has an asthma for quite longer now but with the help of my husband I couldn't do much of her (u know all what i mean). I do miss the three little kiddies back home ( cousins) as we don't have kiddies in our family yet so mostly we able to cuddled them and threat them as our own....wowowo..miss you all lil sweetie....
The last but not the least........miss my friends and neighbors as well... the environment that I grown up with for 28 years....terribly I badly miss those kind of life...even those negative things happen it made me realize that whatever it may be they are all became part of my single life behind....I truly conclude that NO PLACE LIKE HOME.

chris40
1st December 2008, 13:09
the thing i noticed about my wifes comunity and family was how close everyone was ,and i have repeatedly told my wife that i worry that she will miss those things too just like you are.
but posts that i have read on here usualy says that with time passing as you get used to your new life here you actualy get to like the way of life.
keep in touch with your family and friends as much as you can so that you dont feel so isolated and distant, keep busy too and remember what you have struggled for and think positive.

simplelife
1st December 2008, 13:14
Hi Marylen,
I know how you feel right now, as I have been through that stage before.
Yes you are right, theres no place like home. But believe me when your first baby arrive, you will be happier and keep yourself occupied. You will not notice the days, weeks, months passing by until the day that you will be able to go back to the Philippines to see your family.
When I was new in England, I always said to myself that theres no place like hime and I was pertaining that Philippines is my home.
But when I got used to my life in the UK and stayed theres a bit longer with my Fiance and now back to the Philippines, guess what..... now everytime I speak to my Fiance on the phone I always tell him
" Sweetheart, I wanna go home."
And thats because I have already settled there and now accepted to myself that I am just here in the Philippines temporarily, but soon I will be back to UK and live with my future husband.
Yes of course I do miss my family and friends when I was there, thats why now that I am still here I am making the most of my stay, enjoying their company.
Yesterday, I did a pedicure to my grandmother whose 89 years old, coz I thought we never know what the future brings. I feel so good that I have the previledge to be with her and serve her while she still with us.
Marylen , you are not alone who experienced this, millions of Filipinos around the world surely missed their family back home, but theres other way for us to share or express our love to them even we are not with them especially this holiday seasons.
We are fortunate that we can communicate with them thru internet more often or text messaging everyday.
I am sure your family and friends are happy for you that you achieved your dream of having your own happy family.
I wish you all the best .

Cheers!

empott
1st December 2008, 13:24
Home is where the heart is, Marylen. I hope that you can adjust soon to your new life there. You take care of yourself and of your babies. God Bless. :Hellooo:

Mrs.JMajor
1st December 2008, 13:36
Marylen,i can feel you are homesick but in the soonest time especially when u gave birth u will used to it,like other Filipina who are happily married w/ tier own loving husband and kids
I wish u all the best maryanne

marylen
1st December 2008, 15:26
thank you guys for pointing me out every possible things happen in the future...yeah you all may be right maybe i am just too emotional yet at this moment and never know what would be the outcome next, well...whatever it is am pretty do sure that it is all damn for good, as of this point of time still i am on the stage where i have to adjust a bit more as days goes by...i can't do wait to give birth on mid-jan coz i know it brings me out a lot of changes that i for sure gonna treasure till the rest of my life and do learn to accept my newly environment, still one month anyway since i came so its no surprise that i feel kinda such thing........but hopefully i can cope up more easy.......

Ann07
1st December 2008, 15:31
Hi dai...

Entertain your feelings,you are not alone i was once like that. But when james came really changed everything. Your baby will get you occupied and busy:D you will never realized how time fast so quickly:) You will eventually get used to everything. You are lucky you are now with your loving husband:) Many activities to attend to marylen while waiting for the baby to keep you busy. Ask any friends or your midwife :D or your husband.

Keep in touch with your family in the PI just to help you ease the loneliness:D
Your sister will be here soon thats good for you:)

Stay happy and keep yourself busy:)

Sim11UK
1st December 2008, 18:22
I really sympathise, with you here. I don't think any of us waiting for our loved ones to join us, can ever know what you are really going through.
Leaving everything you have ever known, must be totally heart wrenching.
I just wish visit visas, were easier to get, so that many more of you, could come here & get a feel for what life is like in the UK. So you at least have some idea.
I worry so much about my fiancee, going through the same thing.
She has two older sisters, who are now both married & living in America. They both seem to be happy & have made lives for themselves over there, which is reassuring.
It's a very brave step to take. I'm sure your husband & his family, will go out of their way to make you feel welcome & comfortable, as you adjust to your new life & your impending motherhood.

You have many people on this forum, who will help you & give you a shoulder to cry on, when you are finding things tough.

I wish you the very best, the future will be great. :)

andypaul
1st December 2008, 19:46
Sort out decent and cheap communcations.

Sort out when your going to speak. Thankfully the Wife is able to call when she needs to most of the time due to her hours.

The ladies on here will give more detailed advice on the emotional side. But make sure Hubby sorts out the cheapest phone calls, ways to email, msn or actually send letters or small parcels depending on your situation.

Like the others say we are all here to help, even Mr admin.

tiN
1st December 2008, 20:10
Hello Marylen,

I know how hard it is to be away from our families, but thats why you came here with your hubby to make a new one:)

I hope you will cope easily and enjoy living here, just keep yourself busy and occupied, you'll be fine. And im sure hubby will be there to look after you when you need support.

I wish you luck..:)

joebloggs
2nd December 2008, 00:11
my misses has not seen her family or gone back to the phils for 3 1/2yrs

maybe next year, if she passes her exams we'll go , her mom has not seen little joe, who's 2 now.

i think she must be missing her family, but never says so..

the only thing i can suggest, that you tell your hubby how close you are to your family, and get a job in the uk mary, and go back to the phils at least once a year, and as me and the misses plan to do, 10yrs time at least, when we've saved enough go and live there for good :o)

still ways you can communicate with your family cheaply, email, web cam, skype, etc to keep in touch..

LEAHnew
2nd December 2008, 10:00
:bigcry::bigcry:I felt emotional when i'm reading your post, it realy hit my heart what if i'm in your position:cwm34: that would be very hard for me as well :NoNo::bigcry:
I pray for you to be more stronger and enjoy life there, God is with us:).
We're so thankful that technology can easily acees to keep in touch with our family and friends:xxgrinning--00xx3:
Good Luck to you and have a safe delivery:xxgrinning--00xx3:

fhara
2nd December 2008, 16:23
hi marylen,...i really understand how u feel...its very hard but we have to be strong coz everything has a reason..thats why god help us to come here :)

PAT
3rd December 2008, 07:16
Hello sis, I can imagine myself in your shoe now even i am still here with my family in Phil. Yes, there is no place like home. Time will pass quickly and you will feel and accept that where you are now is your own home,being with your loving hubby and kid (soon) no matter where helps you to settle yourself emotionally there. Just tell your husband what you feel so he can able to help you to lessen what you feel now. Look for things that can divert your attention and chat your family and friends more often. TC and God bless you always,hope you will be able to cope up homesickness soon.

PeterB
3rd December 2008, 08:53
Marylen, your post helps to convince me that I've done the right thing by leaving my home and coming to live here in Phils, rather than taking Ruby to UK.

However, I'm sure that, as others have said, you will soon settle down, especially when baby arrives. I wish you all the best ... God Bless you.