Quote Originally Posted by lordna View Post
I became a widower in 2002 after my wife died in 2002 after being very ill for about 3 years with Breast cancer. During this time and after i looked after my 3 kids the youngest of which was only 7 when she died on his birthday. I chose to take redundancy in order to continue to look after my kids and help them get over it. My eldest daughter was 15 at the time and after the death of her mother life became hell for all of us in different ways you could never imagine.
My decision NOT to work at the time wasn't taken lightly, we didnt have much money but at least i was there when needed. It was the right decision at the time although also financial suicide.
Things don't suddenly improve after someone in a family dies, the ripples from that stone dropping in water continue for years and years. Eventually i managed to do part time low paid work again and then work full time again but NOT doing the work or getting the money i was used to. I now earn less than half what i used to with little prospect of ever earning a decent salary again due to my age.
That maybe illustrates how devastating a family death can be years after without even going into how it still affects my children now in some way. Without welfare payouts we would have been in an even more difficult situation at a time, as a family, we were at our absolute lowest. Please don't underestimate how devastating something like this can be both at the time and later. Making it even more difficult for families in such difficult circumstances by making it impossible to get financial help is not the right way to go. Several times when i wasn't earning, i had to travel miles just to be interviewed by various "experts" to make sure i wasn't faking any claims and i can assure you they don't make it easy.
Thankfully all of us in my family are experiencing happy times again, obviously i remarried but even that was met with some suspicions by my children initially. Without the state help maybe myself and my children wouldn't of made it. Having money worries at times when your at your lowest can only make matters even worse. It was no picnic but thanks to some very good neighbours and friends and the fact no claims were never refused, both myself and all my kids are still here to tell the tale.....and i can assure you there were times with all 3 when they very nearly gave up completely.

So when you all start moaning about benefit scroungers please think carefully as you might not know the full story behind the family and what has led them to seek benefits.
Excellent!