what would you do?

[maria_and_matt]

a very good friend of mine (she's filipina), has been married to her british husband for about 4 years now. the hubby has cheated on her before they got married and recently went to thailand and had a sexual encounter with a filipina ex there. i have told time my friend time and time again that she should leave him. she told me she can't coz shes catholic and her parents will disapprove. i have her here in my home often crying her eyes out, to be perfectly honest i am so sick of it. why put up with a man that don't treat you right. i really have no patience to sit here and listen to her, it gets me so down.

if you were me, what would you say and do?

[bornatbirth]

tell her to empty his bank account and go and meet another guy!,howcome hes going on holiday to meet this women?

but she should leave him,why would you put up with him because shes catholic he can do it over ans over again?

[Matt7]

We'll he's obviously treating her like a possession and as though she owes him something, why put yourself through that?

A personal rule is if a girl ever cheats on me the relationship ends, if she has any self respect she'd follow

[Sun Shine]

I'd just try and tell her to leave him otherwise he will keep doing it and make her miserable, yes she's catholic, but surely her family want her to be happy. She cant let herself be brought down by him, if she stays with him, he'll just keep doing it all the more because she lets him.

[maria_and_matt]

tell her to empty his bank account and go and meet another guy!,howcome hes going on holiday to meet this women?

but she should leave him,why would you put up with him because shes catholic he can do it over ans over again?

he's done it about 3x now, he goes off to thailand on 'business', will i be so mean if i tell her i do not want to know anymore? this **** has been going on for too long and i am sick and tired of telling her the same thing LEAVE HIM

[Tawi2]

My brother had an old mangy tom-cat,always wandering around the neighbourhood making a noise and producing kittens,he took it to the vets,got it castrated,it put on weight,always stayed at home,and was a lot healthier once its sexual nocturnal perambulations were curtailed Theres a moral to that story but I cant actually remember what it is Tell her to buy 25kg sacks of Depo-Provera,add it to her cooking,its going to work 100%

[maria_and_matt]

I'd just try and tell her to leave him otherwise he will keep doing it and make her miserable, yes she's catholic, but surely her family want her to be happy. She cant let herself be brought down by him, if she stays with him, he'll just keep doing it all the more because she lets him.

i told her that already, i was in the same situation with my ex hubby, we are catholics too, and i found it so hard to tell my parents i was getting a divorce. but when my father heard about what was going with my marriage then he told me to go ahead with the divorce, i had his support 101%.
i told her her folks would understand. and to do what is best for her. i am so sick of this already ... grrrr

[Matt7]

My brother had an old mangy tom-cat,always wandering around the neighbourhood making a noise and producing kittens,he took it to the vets,got it castrated,it put on weight,always stayed at home,and was a lot healthier once its sexual nocturnal perambulations were curtailed Theres a moral to that story but I cant actually remember what it is Tell her to buy 25kg sacks of Depo-Provera,add it to her cooking,its going to work 100%

Vets do a valuable job for society?

Cats are inherently evil?

[maria_and_matt]

My brother had an old mangy tom-cat,always wandering around the neighbourhood making a noise and producing kittens,he took it to the vets,got it castrated,it put on weight,always stayed at home,and was a lot healthier once its sexual nocturnal perambulations were curtailed Theres a moral to that story but I cant actually remember what it is Tell her to buy 25kg sacks of Depo-Provera,add it to her cooking,its going to work 100%

ahhhhh,,, words of wisdom from tawi2... i knew i could rely on you

[bornatbirth]

im not sure if you should tell her that your fed up listening to her about it,but if she stays with him he will keep doing it.

if she wont leave him,tell her to do the same cheat on him!

and make yourself to busy to see her

[maria_and_matt]

im not sure if you should tell her that your fed up listening to her about it,but if she stays with him he will keep doing it.

if she wont leave him,tell her to do the same cheat on him!

and make yourself to busy to see her

problem is she knows i dont work, she knows my mobile number and landline maybe i should have my line cut off and switch my mobile off

[acs]

Sad to hear your friend is experiencing that heartache over her husband, but if she has her ilr or citizenship already never mind the husband leave him, even if she's catholic (we are raised to uphold marriage) if so much pain and suffering is what she's experiencing now better to move on early. It would be difficult specially if children were also involved but have their dad support them financially. And the best remedy she must find some work so that she have means to support herself. And most of all Pray. Na sana kabagan yang asawa nya at ng matauhan.

[Tawi2]

This is a sad fact of life but true,anyone who wants to say "No way,thats crap" please feel free to chip in,its just been my observation over the years,your experiences might be different...Buttttt some guys marry pinays,or Thais,and date only those submissive(or so its percieved in the west)oriental types because they know they can use,abuse,and cast them away and still they run back for more(or so it seems to Mr Ego)he probably doesnt look like Brad Pitt(maybe Brads Arm-Pitt)but is using her character weakness or dependancy or submissive demeanour and having his cake and eating it,loads of those types of guy around,he wont stop unless she gives him a wake-up call,if she doesnt she is setting herself up for a lifetime of mental anguish every time he goes away on a (monkey)business trip

[bornatbirth]

problem is she knows i dont work, she knows my mobile number and landline maybe i should have my line cut off and switch my mobile off

i guess your stuck with her? you could always move home if she bothers you that much or get a much bigger dog!

[bornatbirth]

tell her to leave him so when he comes home,shes gone!

[acs]

And miss maria, you must be the only person she can pour all her heartaches now, but sometimes too much lecturing will not get to nowhere kaya, how about asking her... so what steps are you going to do now? let her be the one to answer those so that she herself can sort out her problem. Sana po you will not turn her away or hide form her...We are in a far away land and your the only one she can count on sometimes telling others what we feel lightens our burden and guides us... Pero talaga po baka kayo lang ang kaibigan niya

[Sophie]

problem is she knows i dont work, she knows my mobile number and landline maybe i should have my line cut off and switch my mobile off

But she knows where you live, so she can always pop up anytime without a warning if you cut your landline and celphone off, lol

But seriously, i think you should tell her straight that her crying all the time over her cheating husband is getting tiring already
because she's not really doing something about it and she's not taking your advise as well to move on
and stop feeling sorry for herself and wallow in self pity, she has a choice, and she should be smart about it.....

[Tawi2]

Some people are what we used to call NBV's(natural born victims)they have a victim mentality,bad things in life always happen to them because they dont even try and help themselves out of situations and just wallow in self pity,Hard times beget hard measures,tell her to get herself a boyfriend,good for the goose good for the gander type thing,if she doesnt at least try wash your hands as her mindset is defeatist and this will drag on ad infinitum

[Sophie]

Some people are what we used to call NBV's(natural born victims)they have a victim mentality,bad things in life always happen to them because they dont even try and help themselves out of situations and just wallow in self pity

Very true

[Tawi2]

Very true

Yup,victim mentality,they thrive on the pity it elicits from others,easiest course of action seeing as how he is already using her as a doormat is to leave him

[Northerner]

Some people are what we used to call NBV's(natural born victims)they have a victim mentality,bad things in life always happen to them because they dont even try and help themselves out of situations and just wallow in self pity,Hard times beget hard measures,tell her to get herself a boyfriend,good for the goose good for the gander type thing,if she doesnt at least try wash your hands as her mindset is defeatist and this will drag on ad infinitum

Or just give her Tawi's phone number

[Tawi2]

Nope,I like mentally strong women(they need to be,I do strange things sometimes)

[Tawi2]

But she does need to jettison him,and alter her perception of herself,forget catholicism for a while,its like the heavy sack of rocks Buddhists carry through their present life if they were naughty(and who wasnt)in their last existance,tell her to learn to like herself,if she doesnt listen grab a handfull of hair and try banging her head against a wall,preferably brickwork and not stud partitioning

[bornatbirth]

thats why when hes at work she should pack up and go stay with a friend maybe maria

then he might realise what he will lose,if he doesnt come looking then she needs to leave him?

[Northerner]

Nope,I like mentally strong women(they need to be,I do strange things sometimes)

Actually, tell her to take up a hobby like, say.. Mixed Martial Arts Apart from being surrounded by mostly men who like to get roughed up whilst half naked. A good few of them will be trying to get into her, and her husband will know it!

And he can't exactly march down there for a shouting match, can he

And with a little luck she will lose the victim mentality

[Sophie]

Yup,victim mentality,they thrive on the pity it elicits from others,easiest course of action seeing as how he is already using her as a doormat is to leave him

exactly, sometimes they enjoy the sympathy they get and they like people feeling sorry for them so they get stucked as victims.....

[maria_and_matt]

i guess your stuck with her? you could always move home if she bothers you that much or get a much bigger dog!

worth considering i will tell my hubby

[maria_and_matt]

thats why when hes at work she should pack up and go stay with a friend maybe maria

then he might realise what he will lose,if he doesnt come looking then she needs to leave him?

or maybe she can stay with u

[maria_and_matt]

Or just give her Tawi's phone number

tawi2 whats ur number?

[Tawi2]

666