I Find It Hard To Forget Or Forgive

[nomorericepleas]

I JOINED A WEBSITE MARCH '05 LOOKING FOR FILIPINA. DIDNT HAVE MUCH JOY AND ON THE LAST DAY OF MY MEMBERSHIP, ONE CONTACTED ME. I THOUGHT IT COULD BE FATE. SO I RENEWED MY FEE TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH HER. WE CHATTED MOST DAYS AND USING YM. A MONTH OR TWO AFTER I MET HER, SHE LOST HER JOB IN THE INTERNET CAFE, SO I NEEDED TO START SUPPORTING HER. NOT MUCH BY SOME GUYS STANDARDS, JUST A LITTLE WHEN SHE ASKED. I'D NEVER BEEN ABROAD, BUT I GREW SO FOND OF THIS GIRL I REALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS THE ONE, I GOT A PASSPORT IN JUNE AND BOOKED TO MEET HER IN JAN 06.
SO I GOT THERE AND WE WENT TO HER CITY, CALBAYOG. I STAYED IN A HOTEL FOR 3 WEEKS THERE. THEY HAD NO ROOM AT HOME AND FRANKLY I COULDNT LIVE IN THEIR HOME. IT HAD NO ELECTRIC, NOT MUCH ROOF, RATS RUNNING AROUND THE FLOORS ALL DAY AND OVERHEAD TOO UPSTAIRS. CONSIDERING WE KNEW EACH OTHER ONLINE MANY MONTHS, SHE DIDNT SEEM VERY AFFECTIONATE OR ENTHUSIASTIC WHEN IT CAM TO BEDROOM TALK, AND SHE HAD A BF BEFORE ME SO I KNEW SHE WASNT A VIRGIN. WE MADE LOVE 3 TIMES IN 3 WEEKS IN THE HOTEL. NOT EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED BUT PUT IT DOWN TO HER BEING CAGEY AS WE ONLY JUST MET IN PERSON. MAYBE SHE DIDNT WANT TO COME ACROSS AS EASY. ANYWAY THINGS WENT FINE, WE GOT ON WELL ENOUGH TOGETHER AND SEEMED TO ENJOY EACH OTHERS COMPANY. I TOOK HER AND HER PARENTS TO BOHOL IN THE LAST FEW DAYS OF MY STAY AS THEY NEVER TRAVELLED THERE.
WHEN I GOT HOME TO THE UK, I COULDNT HELP FEELING BAD ABOUT THEIR HOME AND SUGGESTED TO HER I HELP THEM FIND SOMEWHERE BETTER, NOTHING FLASH, JUST RAT FREE AND CLEAN. SHE LOOKED AROUND GAVE ME A FEW OPTIONS AND EVENTUALLY I PAID FOR ONE, ONY 200,000PESO AND I PAID A LITTLE EXTRA FOR FURNITURE ETC.
I ALSO BOUGHT HER A COMPUTER, NOT SURE IF THAT WAS HER IDEA OR MINE. OFCOURSE I HAD TO PAY INTERNET CONNECTIONS ALSO BUT IT MEANT WE COULD CHAT MORE WHEN I WAS HOME. THINGS CARRIED ON AS USUAL CHATTING MOST DAYS UNLESS THERE WAS BAGYO OR BROWNOUT.
I BEGAN GETTING CONCERNED ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF TIMES SHE WAS ASKING FOR BILLS TO BE PAID AND THE AMOUNTS. IN THE PROVINCES, I KNEW BILLS ARE NOT SO BIG, BUT SHE SEEMED TO ASK A LOT. ANYWAY I PAID AS I TRUSTED HER TO BE HONEST WITH ME. WE KEPT CHATTING AND PLANNING MARRIAGE NEXT VISIT DECEMBER 06. BEFORE THAT TIME THEY KEPT ASKING MY HELP FOR VARIOUS BILLS AND ALSO ONE TIME SHE SAID HER PAPA WAS COUGHING BLOOD AND NEEDED TO GO TO CEBU FOR CHECK UP AND MEDICINE . I GOT SUSPICIOUS WHEN SHE ASKED 30,000 FOR THE CHECK UP . IT SEEMED HIGH. JUST RECENTLY I GOT CHECK UPS IN DUMAGUETE FOR 200 BUT I DIDNT KNOW THE COSTS BACK THEN, AND WASNT SURE WHAT HE HAD WRONG, IF ANYTHING. HE SMOKED LIKE A CHIMNEY SO I FELT EVEN MORE MIFFED HAVING TO PAY FOR HIS SELF INFLICTED AILMENTS. I WAS OBVIOUSLY BUYING HIS FAGS TOO. A MONTH OR SO BEFORE I WAS DUE TO GO THERE I TOLD HER I WAS POSTPONING THE WEDDING COS I WASN'T HAPPY WITH THE WAY THINGS WERE GOING. I WAS WORKING MY ASS OFF HERE ALL DAY TO PAY FOR A HOUSE OF LAY-ABOUTS AND GOD KNOWS HOW MANY OTHER HOUSEHOLDS. I SAID LETS DISCUSS THINGS WHEN I GET THERE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT, I GOT THERE DEC 06. STAYED IN THE HOME I BOUGHT, IN MY OWN ROOM. WHILE I WAS THERE SEEING HOW THEY LIVED I GOT MORE DISILLUSIONED. I'D BEEN TOLD HER MAMA HAD TRIED TO MAKE BUISNESS SELLING FOOD, THATS WHY THE GIRL ASKED ME EXTRA MONEY FOR INGREDIENTS FROM TIME TO TIME. BUT WHEN I WAS THERE I SAW NO-ONE ATTEMPTING TO DO ANY WORK. THEY JUST SIT AROUND LIKE LORDS AND LADIES. HER 2 BROTHERS ALSO. I MANAGED SEX 4 TIMES IN THAT 3 WEEKS, NO BETTER THAN PREVIOUS YEAR REALLY, SHE DIDNT SHOW ANY SIGN OF PASSION, JUST WENT THROUGH THE MOTION OF STRAIGHT SEX, NOTHING MORE, NO EXTRAS AS IT WERE. THEN SHE ROLLED OVER AND WENT TO SLEEP, TALK ABOUT ROLE REVERSAL. ANYWAY WHILE I WAS THERE IN DECEMBER, SHE TOLD ME HER PAPA WOULD LIKE A BOAT TO CATCH FISH. I THOUGHT YESSS, THEY CAN SUPPORT THEMSELVES THEN, SO I BOUGHT IT AND NET AND LAMPS ETC. BAD MOVE, THEY HARDLY CAUGHT ANYTHING AND NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE MUCH TO SELL. I BOUGHT 2 BICYCLES THINKING IT WOULD SAVE MONEY ON TRICYCLE FARES, BUT SHE WAS TOO LAZY TO RIDE IT MOST TIMES UNLESS WE WENT TOGETHER, EVEN THEN SHE SAID HER LEGS ACHED. MY LAST DAY ARRIVED, HER PAPA APPROACHED ME, HINTING THEY HAD A PLAN TO REBUILD THE BEACH SIDE OF THE HOUSE, AND MAKE A NEW ROOM THAT WOULD BE FOR ME. I NODDED AND ASKED HIM TO SEND ME THE PLANS. BUT I THOUGHT THEY SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT THEY HAD. OBVIOUSLY NOT, THEY WANTED THAT BIT EXTRA OUT OF ME.
I WENT TO CEBU TO GET THE PLANE HOME WITH HER AND HER MAMA. I WAS DUE TO FLY XMAS DAY. HAD A NICE NIGHT WITH THEM XMAS EVE. XMAS DAY MY GF GOT MOODY COS I WANTED TO BUY WATER AS MY PEE WAS BROWN AND I FELT TERRIBLY DEHYDRATED. WE WERE WALKING AROUND TO FIND A LARGE BOTTLE, SHE GOT FRUMPY COS WE FOUND SMALL AND I SAID I NEEDED MORE I'M ALMOST DEAD, AND WALKING THE STREETS ON A BOILING DAY WASNT HELPING. SHE MOOCHED OFF TO THE HOTEL WITHOUT ME. I HAD TO GO BACK AND BUY ALL THE SMALL BOTTLES OF WATER I COULD FIND AND SOME BREAD. I GOT TO THE HOTEL ROOM, SHE WAS NOT TALKING TO ME, HER MAMA TOO. THEY JUST SAT THERE IGNORING ME. I OFFERED THEM WATER AND BREAD, THEY TOOK IT BUT SAID NOTHING. I WAS IN A RAGE, I WANTED TO SHOWER AND JUST LEAVE. I SAT THERE AGES WITH NO-ONE SPEAKING TO ME WHEN I ASKED A QUESTION. I GOT A SHOWER AND WHEN I CAME OUT THEY SAID LETS WAIT DOWNSTAIRS FOR THE TAXI TO THE AIRPORT, AS ITS COOLER. SO WE WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND SAT IN SILENCE AGAIN. I FINALLY SNAPPED, I GRABBED MY BAG, THANKED HER MOTHER FOR LETTING ME STAY IN THE HOME 3 WEEKS, AND SAID BYE TO THE GIRL. SHE ASKED IF I WAS GOING ALONE TO THE AIRPORT AND I SAID OFCOURSE AS NO-ONE WAS TALKING TO ME. I WALKED OUT AND HAILED A CAB.IT WASNT A GREAT XMAS DAY
I DID A LOT OF THINKING AT HOME IN THE UK. THINGS NEVER REALLY PICKED UP, AND I WASNT TOO KEEN ON CARRYING ON THE WAY THEY ACTED TO ME. I FELT SHE WASNT FIGHTING TO KEEP ME EITHER. IN THE END I TOLD HER, SELL ALL THE THINGS I LEFT BEHIND THERE, COS I WASNT SUPPORTING THEM AGAIN, WE WERE THROUGH.
A MONTH LATER I GOT NEW GF. WHILE I WAS VISITTING HER IN SEPT, WE LOOKED AT MY EX'S PROFILE IN FRIENDSTER, SHE WAS PICTURED WITH A KID, HER OWN SHE SAID. I DID THE MATHS. SOMETHING DIDNT ADD UP UNLESS IT WAS MY KID AND EVEN THEN THE MATHS WERE TIGHT. TIME PASSED, I NEVER HAD MUCH CONTACT WITH MY EX,I DIDNT NEED TO AS I HAD A LOVING AFFECTIONATE NEW GF. I DID FROM TIME TO TIME ASK MY EX HOW SHE WAS IN OFFLINE MESSAGES. SHE'D REPLY OK OR SOMETHING BASIC. JUST MORE RECENTLY I WAS ONLINE AND SHE PAGED ME. I ASKED HER OUTRIGHT, "GIVE ME THE TRUTH ABOUT THAT KID". SHE TOLD ME AT THE TIME I WENT THERE DEC06, SHE WAS ALREADY PREGNANT FROM A JAPANESE GUY SHE MET ONLINE, SHE SAID IN JUNE. IT COULD BE 05 OR 06 IM NOT SURE, BUT SHE SAID IT WAS WHEN SHE HAD WORK, SO 05 IS MORE LIKELY. SHE MUST HAVE BEEN CHATTING TO THE GUY MOST OF THE TIME I KNEW HER AND ALL THE TIME I WAS SUPPORTING HER. I DONT KNOW HOW MANY TIMES THEY MET, BUT IT SEEMS THEY MUST HAVE SLEPT TOGETHER DURING THE AUGUST 06, AT A TIME WHEN WE WERE STILL TALKING MARRIAGE AND SHE KNEW I WOULD BE ARRIVING DECEMBER . I NEVER IMAGINED SHE COULD DO THAT TO ME AFTER ALL I GAVE THEM. THE SACRIFICE OF GOING THERE 2 TIMES AND ALL THE HELP AND SUPPORT. ALL THE KINDNESS I SHOWED THEM. SHE WAS UP TO THIS FOR MONTHS IF NOT YEARS. THE FAMILY MUST HAVE KNOWN. I'M SURE AT LEAST HER MOM WOULD HAVE KNOWN SHE WAS PREGNANT WHEN I WAS THERE. I NEVER HAD A CLUE. THEY JUST LET ME GO THERE SO I WOULD KEEP PAYING SUPPORT, AND MAYBE BUY THEM THE BOAT AND WHATEVER ELSE THEY COULD GET BEFORE I FOUND OUT THE TRUTH, OR MAYBE THEY WOULD HAVE CLAIMED IT WAS MINE IF WE HADNT SPLIT FIRST. I DONT REALLY CARE NOW BUT SOMEHOW I STILL FEEL SO ANGRY ABOUT THEM. A CHATMATE CONTACTED MY EX TO ASK WHY SHE DID THAT TO ME. SHE WAS TOLD " IT'S JUST MY STYLE". HMM STYLE? WHERE'S THE STYLE THERE? IN CHEATING YOUR FIANCEE FOR MONTHS, NOT ONLY FOR MONEY BUT WITH SOME OTHER FOREIGN GUY. SO MANY FILIPINA SYMPATHISE WITH MY STORY, THEY ARE SHOCKED AND ASHAMED. I JUST FEEL ANGRY AND FIND IT HARD TO LET IT GO WITHOUT FINDING SOME WAY TO HURT HER. I HATE TO SEE CRIMINALS WALK AWAY. I LIKE BRONSON GETTING THE BADDY IN DEATH WISH, I LOVE IT WHEN DIRTY HARRY GETS HIS MAN. I DON'T LIKE CHEATS AND I THINK THEY DESERVE ALL THEY GET IN RETURN. I CAN'T THINK OF A WAY TO GET EVEN A LITTLE EVEN. GIRLS TELL ME GOD WILL GET EVEN FOR ME, BUT I'M NOT RELIGIOUS, I PREFER TO DO THE JOB MYSELF IN SOME WAY. I'VE TRIED NAMING AND SHAMING HER AND HER FAMILY, IT'S ALL I CAN DO, BUT I'M NOT SURE THEY'D CARE. HER NAME IS MILLICENT ANN ORTIZ. OF CALBAYOG SAMAR. YOU CAN SEE HER IN FRIENDSTER. SHE REMOVED HER PICTURES FROM VIEW TO HIDE HER FACE AND PUT HER KIDS PIC THERE INSTEAD, NICE MOVE TO SHIELD BEHIND A KID HUH? ANYWAY I OPENED A NEW PROFILE IN HER NAME AND HOPE EVERYONE IN CALBAYOG WILL GET TO SEE IT SOMEDAY SO THEY KNOW WHAT THAT FAMILY ARE LIKE. MAYBE SOMEPEOPLE THINK I'M BEING PETTY OVER A FEW QUID, BUT ITS NOT THE MONEY, IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF HER DELIBERATELY CHEATING. I'M NOT THE FIRST TO BE DONE OVER LIKE A KIPPER, I WONT BE THE LAST. CHATMATES TOLD ME BE THANKFUL I GOT RID OF THAT FAMILY WHEN I DID. I AM, COS MY NEW FIANCEE IS DIFFERENT CLASS TO HER IN EVERY WAY. MORE LOVING, SEXY, AFFECTIONATE AND VERY VERY HONEST. BUT I CANT STOP LOOKING FOR THAT LAST WAY OF GETTING THEM BACK, JUST ENOUGH TO NOT LET THEM GET AWAY WITHOUT ANY SCARS. IF I KNEW A WITCH DOCTOR I'D PUT A CURSE ON THEM I'M REALLY SO WOUND UP. I KNOW I'M ONLY HURTING MYSELF WHILE THEY DONT GIVE 2 THEY SEE THEMSELVES AS WINNERS HAVING FOOLED A WHITE GUY. WELL SOME WHITE GUYS LIKE TO FIGHT BACK. IF ONLY I COULD. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY LONNGGGGGGGGGG STORY. PLEASE BE CAREFUL GUYS. DON'T OFFER HELP TOO READILY AND BE SUSPICIOUS OF PEOPLE WHO ASK IT ALSO. WOEMN TELL ME IF A GIRL REALLY LOVES YOU, SHE WILL NOT ASK ANY MONEY OR MATERIAL THINGS. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, BUT BEAR IT IN MIND

[EDITED by ADMIN: Please do not circumvent the swear filter, use smilies]

[kimmi]

sorry for what had happened to u, but i wish u all the best and hope u find the girl for u..

p.s would u mind next time pls post in paragraphs and not in capital letters??thanks..Goodluck...

[KeithD]

Odds on most folk won't read it in that format

[IanB]

Odds on most folk won't read it in that format

WHATS WRONG WITH THE FORMAT???? OH, I SEE.

[kimmi]

WHATS WRONG WITH THE FORMAT???? OH, I SEE.

[pennybarry]

WHATS WRONG WITH THE FORMAT???? OH, I SEE.

In the Philippines, if we typed in all capital letters, we feel the one who made it was full of hatred and was shouting out loud!
Sorry guy! you don't need to be that generous while looking for a nice lady. Some ladies are too wise and will just use you until your pocket is drained!

[nomorericepleas]

sorry for what had happened to u, but i wish u all the best and hope u find the girl for u..

p.s would u mind next time pls post in paragraphs and not in capital letters??thanks..Goodluck...

thanks, think i have found the one.
ooops sori, didnt realise i even had the caps on i was too angry writing.

[nomorericepleas]

In the Philippines, if we typed in all capital letters, we feel the one who made it was full of hatred and was shouting out loud!
Sorry guy! you don't need to be that generous while looking for a nice lady. Some ladies are too wise and will just use you until your pocket is drained!

well yes i was full of hatred, so maybe that explains something. Anyway i got it off my chest at least. for too wise read too greedy i think you mean.

[keithAngel]

There you go

[andypaul]

Keith angel Mr admin should put you forward for an OBE for services to Phill uk forumers

[misscarie]

I'm sorry to hear ur story...Glad you've found ur new gf...i hope she is the last...Goodluck!

[keithAngel]

Keith angel Mr admin should put you forward for an OBE for services to Phill uk forumers

hmm its disapeared

[maria_and_matt]

i am sorry to hear about what happened to you... at least now you have learnt some sort of lesson, never trust anybody that easy. when it does not feel right then its probably not. i met my husband here in the uk about 9 years ago now, i have been divorced for about 2 years when i met him.. i have never asked him for anything, but he is a kind man and offered to help my family out, but when i noticed that my family was not doing anythin anymore and just sat around waiting for my husbands money every month i told my husband to stop helping out! my husband works for his money and i do not see why my family should just totally rely on my husband for support.

i hope things work out for you and new fiance. i better stop now cz any minute now i'm gonna have to type in capitals hahahaha.. goodluck and get that anger out of your heart start fresh and be happy...

[KeithD]

You do know the forum has a bot that checks for similarity in quotes over a certain length and remove them? No!!! You do now

[keithAngel]

You do know the forum has a bot that checks for similarity in quotes over a certain length and remove them? No!!! You do now

Noted

[keithAngel]

I JOINED A WEBSITE MARCH '05 LOOKING FOR FILIPINA. DIDNT HAVE MUCH JOY AND ON THE LAST DAY OF MY MEMBERSHIP, ONE CONTACTED ME. I THOUGHT IT COULD BE FATE. SO I RENEWED MY FEE TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH HER.

WE CHATTED MOST DAYS AND USING YM. A MONTH OR TWO AFTER I MET HER, SHE LOST HER JOB IN THE INTERNET CAFE, SO I NEEDED TO START SUPPORTING HER. NOT MUCH BY SOME GUYS STANDARDS, JUST A LITTLE WHEN SHE ASKED.

I'D NEVER BEEN ABROAD, BUT I GREW SO FOND OF THIS GIRL I REALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS THE ONE, I GOT A PASSPORT IN JUNE AND BOOKED TO MEET HER IN JAN 06.


SO I GOT THERE AND WE WENT TO HER CITY, CALBAYOG. I STAYED IN A HOTEL FOR 3 WEEKS THERE. THEY HAD NO ROOM AT HOME AND FRANKLY I COULDNT LIVE IN THEIR HOME.

IT HAD NO ELECTRIC, NOT MUCH ROOF, RATS RUNNING AROUND THE FLOORS ALL DAY AND OVERHEAD TOO UPSTAIRS. CONSIDERING WE KNEW EACH OTHER ONLINE MANY MONTHS,

SHE DIDNT SEEM VERY AFFECTIONATE OR ENTHUSIASTIC WHEN IT CAM TO BEDROOM TALK, AND SHE HAD A BF BEFORE ME SO I KNEW SHE WASNT A VIRGIN. WE MADE LOVE 3 TIMES IN 3 WEEKS IN THE HOTEL. NOT EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED BUT PUT IT DOWN TO HER BEING CAGEY AS WE ONLY JUST MET IN PERSON. MAYBE SHE DIDNT WANT TO COME ACROSS AS EASY.


[EDITED by ADMIN: Please do not circumvent the swear filter, use smilies]

being persistent

[keithAngel]

ANYWAY THINGS WENT FINE, WE GOT ON WELL ENOUGH TOGETHER AND SEEMED TO ENJOY EACH OTHERS COMPANY. I TOOK HER AND HER PARENTS TO BOHOL IN THE LAST FEW DAYS OF MY STAY AS THEY NEVER TRAVELLED THERE.

WHEN I GOT HOME TO THE UK, I COULDNT HELP FEELING BAD ABOUT THEIR HOME AND SUGGESTED TO HER I HELP THEM FIND SOMEWHERE BETTER, NOTHING FLASH, JUST RAT FREE AND CLEAN. SHE LOOKED AROUND GAVE ME A FEW OPTIONS AND EVENTUALLY I PAID FOR ONE, ONY 200,000PESO AND I PAID A LITTLE EXTRA FOR FURNITURE ETC.

I ALSO BOUGHT HER A COMPUTER, NOT SURE IF THAT WAS HER IDEA OR MINE. OFCOURSE I HAD TO PAY INTERNET CONNECTIONS ALSO BUT IT MEANT WE COULD CHAT MORE WHEN I WAS HOME. THINGS CARRIED ON AS USUAL CHATTING MOST DAYS UNLESS THERE WAS BAGYO OR BROWNOUT.


I BEGAN GETTING CONCERNED ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF TIMES SHE WAS ASKING FOR BILLS TO BE PAID AND THE AMOUNTS. IN THE PROVINCES, I KNEW BILLS ARE NOT SO BIG, BUT SHE SEEMED TO ASK A LOT. ANYWAY I PAID AS I TRUSTED HER TO BE HONEST WITH ME.

WE KEPT CHATTING AND PLANNING MARRIAGE NEXT VISIT DECEMBER 06. BEFORE THAT TIME THEY KEPT ASKING MY HELP FOR VARIOUS BILLS AND ALSO ONE TIME SHE SAID HER PAPA WAS COUGHING BLOOD AND NEEDED TO GO TO CEBU FOR CHECK UP AND MEDICINE . I GOT SUSPICIOUS WHEN SHE ASKED 30,000 FOR THE CHECK UP .

I
[EDITED by ADMIN: Please do not circumvent the swear filter, use smilies]

hope this works

[keithAngel]

. IT SEEMED HIGH. JUST RECENTLY I GOT CHECK UPS IN DUMAGUETE FOR 200 BUT I DIDNT KNOW THE COSTS BACK THEN, AND WASNT SURE WHAT HE HAD WRONG,

IF ANYTHING. HE SMOKED LIKE A CHIMNEY SO I FELT EVEN MORE MIFFED HAVING TO PAY FOR HIS SELF INFLICTED AILMENTS. I WAS OBVIOUSLY BUYING HIS FAGS TOO.

A MONTH OR SO BEFORE I WAS DUE TO GO THERE I TOLD HER I WAS POSTPONING THE WEDDING COS I WASN'T HAPPY WITH THE WAY THINGS WERE GOING. I WAS WORKING MY ASS OFF HERE ALL DAY TO PAY FOR A HOUSE OF LAY-ABOUTS AND GOD KNOWS HOW MANY OTHER HOUSEHOLDS. I SAID LETS DISCUSS THINGS WHEN I GET THERE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.


TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT, I GOT THERE DEC 06. STAYED IN THE HOME I BOUGHT, IN MY OWN ROOM. WHILE I WAS THERE SEEING HOW THEY LIVED I GOT MORE DISILLUSIONED.

I'D BEEN TOLD HER MAMA HAD TRIED TO MAKE BUISNESS SELLING FOOD, THATS WHY THE GIRL ASKED ME EXTRA MONEY FOR INGREDIENTS FROM TIME TO TIME. BUT WHEN I WAS THERE I SAW NO-ONE ATTEMPTING TO DO ANY WORK. THEY JUST SIT AROUND LIKE LORDS AND LADIES. HER 2 BROTHERS ALSO. I MANAGED SEX 4 TIMES IN THAT 3 WEEKS, NO BETTER THAN PREVIOUS YEAR REALLY,

SHE DIDNT SHOW ANY SIGN OF PASSION, JUST WENT THROUGH THE MOTION OF STRAIGHT SEX, NOTHING MORE, NO EXTRAS AS IT WERE. THEN SHE ROLLED OVER AND WENT TO SLEEP, TALK ABOUT ROLE REVERSAL. ANYWAY WHILE I WAS THERE IN DECEMBER, SHE TOLD ME HER PAPA WOULD LIKE A BOAT TO CATCH FISH. I THOUGHT YESSS, THEY CAN SUPPORT THEMSELVES THEN, SO I BOUGHT IT AND NET AND LAMPS ETC.

BAD MOVE, THEY HARDLY CAUGHT ANYTHING AND NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE MUCH TO SELL. I BOUGHT 2 BICYCLES THINKING IT WOULD SAVE MONEY ON TRICYCLE FARES, BUT SHE WAS TOO LAZY TO RIDE IT MOST TIMES UNLESS WE WENT TOGETHER, EVEN THEN SHE SAID HER LEGS ACHED. MY LAST DAY ARRIVED, HER PAPA APPROACHED ME, HINTING THEY HAD A PLAN TO REBUILD THE BEACH SIDE OF THE HOUSE, AND MAKE A NEW ROOM THAT WOULD BE FOR ME.

I NODDED AND ASKED HIM TO SEND ME THE PLANS. BUT I THOUGHT THEY SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT THEY HAD. OBVIOUSLY NOT, THEY WANTED THAT BIT EXTRA OUT OF ME.

I
[EDITED by ADMIN: Please do not circumvent the swear filter, use smilies]

[keithAngel]

.
I WENT TO CEBU TO GET THE PLANE HOME WITH HER AND HER MAMA. I WAS DUE TO FLY XMAS DAY. HAD A NICE NIGHT WITH THEM XMAS EVE. XMAS DAY MY GF GOT MOODY COS I WANTED TO BUY WATER AS MY PEE WAS BROWN AND I FELT TERRIBLY DEHYDRATED.

WE WERE WALKING AROUND TO FIND A LARGE BOTTLE, SHE GOT FRUMPY COS WE FOUND SMALL AND I SAID I NEEDED MORE I'M ALMOST DEAD, AND WALKING THE STREETS ON A BOILING DAY WASNT HELPING. SHE MOOCHED OFF TO THE HOTEL WITHOUT ME.

I HAD TO GO BACK AND BUY ALL THE SMALL BOTTLES OF WATER I COULD FIND AND SOME BREAD. I GOT TO THE HOTEL ROOM, SHE WAS NOT TALKING TO ME, HER MAMA TOO. THEY JUST SAT THERE IGNORING ME.

I OFFERED THEM WATER AND BREAD, THEY TOOK IT BUT SAID NOTHING. I WAS IN A RAGE, I WANTED TO SHOWER AND JUST LEAVE. I SAT THERE AGES WITH NO-ONE SPEAKING TO ME WHEN I ASKED A QUESTION. I GOT A SHOWER AND WHEN I CAME OUT THEY SAID LETS WAIT DOWNSTAIRS FOR THE TAXI TO THE AIRPORT, AS ITS COOLER.

SO WE WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND SAT IN SILENCE AGAIN. I FINALLY SNAPPED, I GRABBED MY BAG, THANKED HER MOTHER FOR LETTING ME STAY IN THE HOME 3 WEEKS, AND SAID BYE TO THE GIRL. SHE ASKED IF I WAS GOING ALONE TO THE AIRPORT AND I SAID OFCOURSE AS NO-ONE WAS TALKING TO ME.

I WALKED OUT AND HAILED A CAB.IT WASNT A GREAT XMAS DAY
I DID A LOT OF THINKING AT HOME IN THE UK. THINGS NEVER REALLY PICKED UP, AND I WASNT TOO KEEN ON CARRYING ON THE WAY THEY ACTED TO ME. I FELT SHE WASNT FIGHTING TO KEEP ME EITHER. IN THE END I TOLD HER, SELL ALL THE THINGS I LEFT BEHIND THERE, COS I WASNT SUPPORTING THEM AGAIN, WE WERE THROUGH.

A MONTH LATER I GOT NEW GF. WHILE I WAS VISITTING HER IN SEPT, WE LOOKED AT MY EX'S PROFILE IN FRIENDSTER, SHE WAS PICTURED WITH A KID, HER OWN SHE SAID. I DID THE MATHS. SOMETHING DIDNT ADD UP UNLESS IT WAS MY KID AND EVEN THEN THE MATHS WERE TIGHT. TIME PASSED,

I NEVER HAD MUCH CONTACT WITH MY EX,I DIDNT NEED TO AS I HAD A LOVING AFFECTIONATE NEW GF. I DID FROM TIME TO TIME ASK MY EX HOW SHE WAS IN OFFLINE MESSAGES. SHE'D REPLY OK OR SOMETHING BASIC.

JUST MORE RECENTLY I WAS ONLINE AND SHE PAGED ME. I ASKED HER OUTRIGHT, "GIVE ME THE TRUTH ABOUT THAT KID". SHE TOLD ME AT THE TIME I WENT THERE DEC06, SHE WAS ALREADY PREGNANT FROM A JAPANESE GUY SHE MET ONLINE, SHE SAID IN JUNE. IT COULD BE 05 OR 06 IM NOT SURE, BUT SHE SAID IT WAS WHEN SHE HAD WORK, SO 05 IS MORE LIKELY.


[EDITED by ADMIN: Please do not circumvent the swear filter, use smilies]

[keithAngel]

SHE MUST HAVE BEEN CHATTING TO THE GUY MOST OF THE TIME I KNEW HER AND ALL THE TIME I WAS SUPPORTING HER.

I DONT KNOW HOW MANY TIMES THEY MET, BUT IT SEEMS THEY MUST HAVE SLEPT TOGETHER DURING THE AUGUST 06, AT A TIME WHEN WE WERE STILL TALKING MARRIAGE AND SHE KNEW I WOULD BE ARRIVING DECEMBER .

I NEVER IMAGINED SHE COULD DO THAT TO ME AFTER ALL I GAVE THEM. THE SACRIFICE OF GOING THERE 2 TIMES AND ALL THE HELP AND SUPPORT. ALL THE KINDNESS I SHOWED THEM. SHE WAS UP TO THIS FOR MONTHS IF NOT YEARS. THE FAMILY MUST HAVE KNOWN. I'M SURE AT LEAST HER MOM WOULD HAVE KNOWN SHE WAS PREGNANT WHEN I WAS THERE.

I NEVER HAD A CLUE. THEY JUST LET ME GO THERE SO I WOULD KEEP PAYING SUPPORT, AND MAYBE BUY THEM THE BOAT AND WHATEVER ELSE THEY COULD GET BEFORE I FOUND OUT THE TRUTH, OR MAYBE THEY WOULD HAVE CLAIMED IT WAS MINE IF WE HADNT SPLIT FIRST. I DONT REALLY CARE NOW BUT SOMEHOW I STILL FEEL SO ANGRY ABOUT THEM.

A CHATMATE CONTACTED MY EX TO ASK WHY SHE DID THAT TO ME. SHE WAS TOLD " IT'S JUST MY STYLE". HMM STYLE? WHERE'S THE STYLE THERE? IN CHEATING YOUR FIANCEE FOR MONTHS, NOT ONLY FOR MONEY BUT WITH SOME OTHER FOREIGN GUY. SO MANY FILIPINA SYMPATHISE WITH MY STORY,

THEY ARE SHOCKED AND ASHAMED. I JUST FEEL ANGRY AND FIND IT HARD TO LET IT GO WITHOUT FINDING SOME WAY TO HURT HER. I HATE TO SEE CRIMINALS WALK AWAY. I LIKE BRONSON GETTING THE BADDY IN DEATH WISH, I LOVE IT WHEN DIRTY HARRY GETS HIS MAN. I DON'T LIKE CHEATS AND I THINK THEY DESERVE ALL THEY GET IN RETURN. I CAN'T THINK OF A WAY TO GET EVEN A LITTLE EVEN.

GIRLS TELL ME GOD WILL GET EVEN FOR ME, BUT I'M NOT RELIGIOUS, I PREFER TO DO THE JOB MYSELF IN SOME WAY. I'VE TRIED NAMING AND SHAMING HER AND HER FAMILY, IT'S ALL I CAN DO, BUT I'M NOT SURE THEY'D CARE. HER NAME IS MILLICENT ANN ORTIZ. OF CALBAYOG SAMAR. YOU CAN SEE HER IN FRIENDSTER. SHE REMOVED HER PICTURES FROM VIEW TO HIDE HER FACE AND PUT HER KIDS PIC THERE INSTEAD,

NICE MOVE TO SHIELD BEHIND A KID HUH? ANYWAY I OPENED A NEW PROFILE IN HER NAME AND HOPE EVERYONE IN CALBAYOG WILL GET TO SEE IT SOMEDAY SO THEY KNOW WHAT THAT FAMILY ARE LIKE. MAYBE SOMEPEOPLE THINK I'M BEING PETTY OVER A FEW QUID, BUT ITS NOT THE MONEY, IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF HER DELIBERATELY CHEATING.

I'M NOT THE FIRST TO BE DONE OVER LIKE A KIPPER, I WONT BE THE LAST. CHATMATES TOLD ME BE THANKFUL I GOT RID OF THAT FAMILY WHEN I DID. I AM, COS MY NEW FIANCEE IS DIFFERENT CLASS TO HER IN EVERY WAY. MORE LOVING, SEXY, AFFECTIONATE AND VERY VERY HONEST.

BUT I CANT STOP LOOKING FOR THAT LAST WAY OF GETTING THEM BACK, JUST ENOUGH TO NOT LET THEM GET AWAY WITHOUT ANY SCARS. IF I KNEW A WITCH DOCTOR I'D PUT A CURSE ON THEM I'M REALLY SO WOUND UP. I KNOW I'M ONLY HURTING MYSELF WHILE THEY DONT GIVE 2 THEY SEE THEMSELVES AS WINNERS HAVING FOOLED A WHITE GUY. WELL SOME WHITE GUYS LIKE TO FIGHT BACK. IF ONLY I COULD.

THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY LONNGGGGGGGGGG STORY. PLEASE BE CAREFUL GUYS. DON'T OFFER HELP TOO READILY AND BE SUSPICIOUS OF PEOPLE WHO ASK IT ALSO. WOEMN TELL ME IF A GIRL REALLY LOVES YOU, SHE WILL NOT ASK ANY MONEY OR MATERIAL THINGS. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, BUT BEAR IT IN MIND

[EDITED by ADMIN: Please do not circumvent the swear filter, use smilies]

[KeithD]

Did I mention if you put ** at the front the bot will ignore it?

[nomorericepleas]

i am sorry to hear about what happened to you... at least now you have learnt some sort of lesson, never trust anybody that easy. when it does not feel right then its probably not. i met my husband here in the uk about 9 years ago now, i have been divorced for about 2 years when i met him.. i have never asked him for anything, but he is a kind man and offered to help my family out, but when i noticed that my family was not doing anythin anymore and just sat around waiting for my husbands money every month i told my husband to stop helping out! my husband works for his money and i do not see why my family should just totally rely on my husband for support.

i hope things work out for you and new fiance. i better stop now cz any minute now i'm gonna have to type in capitals hahahaha.. goodluck and get that anger out of your heart start fresh and be happy...

every time i go over there i learn some lesson or other. i know i should really have considered getting out of that situation earlier, but with a first relationship with a filipina, i wasn't sure exactly what was expected of me. I didnt want to appear unfriendly or tight fisted to her or her family.

I saw some guys here get called tight for not giving enough monthly support to a fiancee. I still don't know what is too much to offer and whats being tight. I'll lean towards being tight in future

[keithAngel]

every time i go over there i learn some lesson or other. i know i should really have considered getting out of that situation earlier, but with a first relationship with a filipina, i wasn't sure exactly what was expected of me. I didnt want to appear unfriendly or tight fisted to her or her family.

I saw some guys here get called tight for not giving enough monthly support to a fiancee. I still don't know what is too much to offer and whats being tight. I'll lean towards being tight in future

nice paragraphs nomore

[maria_and_matt]

every time i go over there i learn some lesson or other. i know i should really have considered getting out of that situation earlier, but with a first relationship with a filipina, i wasn't sure exactly what was expected of me. I didnt want to appear unfriendly or tight fisted to her or her family.

I saw some guys here get called tight for not giving enough monthly support to a fiancee. I still don't know what is too much to offer and whats being tight. I'll lean towards being tight in future

better to be tight than broke ... get to learn to know the girl first before you help, you are a kind man but you also have to be wise! it would be different if you were married to her and you decided to help out, but bf/gf relationship i dont think you really are expected to help out financially.. how are things with you now?

[trina]

Oh my.... well at the end you've found the one right for you...who can love you back the way you do...good luck...and just forget her...BEing with you ex is BIG MISTAKE

[russ01539]

every time i go over there i learn some lesson or other. i know i should really have considered getting out of that situation earlier, but with a first relationship with a filipina, i wasn't sure exactly what was expected of me. I didnt want to appear unfriendly or tight fisted to her or her family.

I saw some guys here get called tight for not giving enough monthly support to a fiancee. I still don't know what is too much to offer and whats being tight. I'll lean towards being tight in future

IT SEEMS YOU HAD 99 PROBLEMS AND THE BITCH WAS DEFINATELY ALL 99 OF THEM. I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON.

I got called 'stingy' by my family because I didn't send enough when I was engaged and my now wife was still in PI, but myresponse was ' well you did ok for yourselves before I came along, so be grateful for any extra you get'.

They don't call me stingy any more, because I and my wife are the only ones now supporting them, and the consequences of upsetting me by calling me stingy have been made clear to them. They accept what they have now, and I make sure they live a comfortable life, and yes there is now only one 'hanger onerer' who is still too lazy to go and find a job to put their share on the table like the rest of us. The have learned the British ethic of hard work now, and they are happy for learning it because as I say they all feel worthy because they bring money onto the table like me and this makes them important in family decisions.

PS. This took two years to get where we are and lots of tampos.

PPS. I wish you all the best of luck with your new gf, she sounds like a lovely lady.

PPPS - 5 years of visiting PI and I still learn new things, its what makes the place so intriguing.

PPPPS - Ever tried dressing down, rubbin a little dust thru your hair then going to your local SM mall to beg ? try it, its surprising how may filipinas will give you something.

PPPPPPS - I am sure everyone who read your first post is thinking you should just move on and forget your bad experience. That woman makes every good filipina experience you have feel better than it would otherwise, thats your revenge matey.

[nomorericepleas]

better to be tight than broke ... get to learn to know the girl first before you help, you are a kind man but you also have to be wise! it would be different if you were married to her and you decided to help out, but bf/gf relationship i dont think you really are expected to help out financially.. how are things with you now?

things are just plodding on, i had some big fights with my latest fiancee cos she's highly strung. she had a bad past herself and she's very worried about people. she lacks trust and also has developed some kind of attitude that means i have to give her attention most of the day. If i don't i get the silent treatment or some smart comments .

we are both down today cos her visit visa was rejected. Her annulment is also dragging on with hearing after hearing, and i don't actually know the purpose of these hearings. It just seems to be a waste of money and time. It certainly wastes my money having to send my fiancee to Manila to attend.

I just want things to get settled into some routine. Maybe now her visa was rejected she can just set up a buisness and wait for me arriving in december, then we'll try the visa again, maybe after marriage. I'm not sure why her being married to me will guarantee her going home again though, but it might help.

[keithAngel]

It just seems to be a waste of money and time. It certainly wastes my money having to send my fiancee to Manila to attend.

.

Attend what? How many times and from were?

[joroco]

In some ways my own story is similar. Met girlfriend on internet, visited a few weeks later, saw how poor her family were, offered financial assistance. Then, after I returned my gf (now wife) asked for 100,000 pesos so papa could buy a multi-cab, and told me it costs 150,000. So I did, but he has been able to work ever since. He later told me he paid 90,000 for it!!
Likewise, bought a house, and have been paying the bills ever since, about 3,000 a month, plus another 7,000 to live on. But that is only the theory because every month there has been a problem, the cost of rice has doubled, the cost of fuel has risen by 40%, and so and so on.
I dare say many other foreigners have similar stories. It's not cheap, but the best advice is to avoid girls who continually ask for money right from the start of a relationship. I blocked half a dozen of them on the internet before I met Cristina. Most of us are willing to spend money not just on our partner, but the family too. But we all have different financial circumstances, and the family has to understand that. Too many filipinos see the West as a pot of honey where we are all rich, like the people they see in movies etc. Many fail to appreciate the cost of living in the UK. For example, many rent plots for a few hundred pesos a month and build their own house, while here, my mortgage is over 100,000 pesos a month.

I think as long as you let them know where you stand they will listen and understand.

By the way, I almost forgot to mention, Cristina has her visa at last!! She got a call from the embassy and sent her passport there two weeks ago. They were going to send it back by courier, but last time that happened (with the visa refusal), it took so long it made us late for her appeal. So she flew this week to Manila to collect it along with her CFO stamp (UK acclimatisation course). And she will be here on the 22nd August. So we're both happy as larry right now!

[IainBusby]

In some ways my own story is similar. Met girlfriend on internet, visited a few weeks later, saw how poor her family were, offered financial assistance. Then, after I returned my gf (now wife) asked for 100,000 pesos so papa could buy a multi-cab, and told me it costs 150,000. So I did, but he has been able to work ever since. He later told me he paid 90,000 for it!!
Likewise, bought a house, and have been paying the bills ever since, about 3,000 a month, plus another 7,000 to live on. But that is only the theory because every month there has been a problem, the cost of rice has doubled, the cost of fuel has risen by 40%, and so and so on.
I dare say many other foreigners have similar stories. It's not cheap, but the best advice is to avoid girls who continually ask for money right from the start of a relationship. I blocked half a dozen of them on the internet before I met Cristina. Most of us are willing to spend money not just on our partner, but the family too. But we all have different financial circumstances, and the family has to understand that. Too many filipinos see the West as a pot of honey where we are all rich, like the people they see in movies etc. Many fail to appreciate the cost of living in the UK. For example, many rent plots for a few hundred pesos a month and build their own house, while here, my mortgage is over 100,000 pesos a month.

I think as long as you let them know where you stand they will listen and understand.

By the way, I almost forgot to mention, Cristina has her visa at last!! She got a call from the embassy and sent her passport there two weeks ago. They were going to send it back by courier, but last time that happened (with the visa refusal), it took so long it made us late for her appeal. So she flew this week to Manila to collect it along with her CFO stamp (UK acclimatisation course). And she will be here on the 22nd August. So we're both happy as larry right now!

Congratulations,
Louella & Iain.