Looking for advice for a possible overly sensitive guy!

[DaveUK]

Thanks Les_lady888, I appreciate it. Just have to see if she does get in contact! If not, as I'm starting to accept she won't, then I'm already looking passed that in the best positive way I can which should help me cope! :-)

[Les_lady888]

Just one question Dave, do you know her exact home address here in Phils? And I wonder too why would she asked you to send the money to another's name? If it was my bf sending me money for a visa application or for any other purpose, I wud rather claim the money myself and just show the receipts to my bf.

[DaveUK]

She gave me an address to send her something. When she gave me the address, she told me to put her name on the top as normal, but at the bottom of the address, she asked me to put it care of someone else. When I asked who the person was, Anna told me it was the owner of the place she lived in!

When I asked Anna about why I was putting the money in someone else's name, she told me it was the agents name and that the agent would be picking up the money with Anna!

[Mrs.JMajor]

wow ! u beat it ! u had 800+ viewers of your page,i just sleep and most of the members you got thier attention..hmm i wonder if u still can have 5th page..you are the front page or headline story...so goes to your problem no one told you that is LOVE...its SCAM..(like what i said on my first reply to you)...even boss share his concern to you ..

may you find the best one

[DaveUK]

hey Jedc143! I'm so glad you've posted again. Was worried I really had offended you before! Glad I haven't! :-)

I can't believe how many views I've had either, or the amount of posts from others. However, I'm definitely really happy about all the feedback as it's helped me a lot. So glad I found this site! :-)

[Les_lady888]

Dave, all I know about what are the necessary details for WU remittance to be claimed here are the control number and the beneficiary name......so a c/o name wont be necessary....in fact, if you just put Davao City or Tarlac City is already ok....but still I wud give her the benefit of the doubt.....You know her so well and Im sure there are things about her that you would rather not post her.....so only you can really tell what she is really to you and you to her.

Just be wise Dave.

[DaveUK]

I'm trying my best to be wise, but it doesn't stop it hurting unfortunately! :-(

[Les_lady888]

All I know is that you do what you think and what you feel will make you happy. It's your life. You decide on it. But don't close your ears and eyes too. Be cautious. Be wise. Don't let short-lived happiness abuse your whole life. Just make sure you are ready and strong to face whatever your decision leads you too. If you end hurt, then just take it as a learning experience to make you stronger and wiser. If you end happier, then that's really awesome for you...like a fairy tale ......but whatever it takes, it is better to be happy once than never been happy at all.

Goodluck Dave and God bless!

[DaveUK]

Thanks Les_lady888. Again, your comments are appreciated :-)

[tomm]

I'm trying my best to be wise, but it doesn't stop it hurting unfortunately! :-(

Not all the threads on here are happy stories, other's have been where you are now.... ladies too!! Read their stories. Hope it helps. Good luck mate

[DaveUK]

Will do. Cheers. I'll still keep you all posted on what happens next in this ongoing saga, if anything else does happen! :-)

[kimmi]

Goodluck Dave just let me know wot happen or send me a PM..

[DaveUK]

Well, for all those people who highlighted the red flags, they are waving high at the top of the flagpole!

I phoned the agency Anna had allegedly used for her visa application. The agency had never heard of the agent that Anna claimed to be sorting things out with!

I then spoke to Anna's friend for an hour last night and learnt a few things. Anna has gone back to Hong Kong. She went on Sunday. I also learnt that yes she is married, although she wants to leave her husband as he doesnt have a job and that's why she has to work in Hong Kong.

Anna's friend also reckons that Anna does genuinely like me and was very upset when I left Hong Kong. But Anna is prone to the occassional lie apparently which is made apparent by the lie about why she needed money from me!

Anyway, I've txt Anna a couple of times (I know she is receiving txts on her Filipino number). The first one was to tell her I knew she'd lied about the money. I then sent her one a little later on saying that I knew she was in Hong Kong and I still loved her and didn't want to end this over money. Of course, I've had no replies.

Ok, I know she has scammed me and I'm a glutton for punishment. But in Anna I do see more to her from when we spent time together. Unfortunately though, as she isn't replying to me, this whole thing is destroying me because I can't even get any closure on the whole thing! Because I know she's in Hong Kong and therfore traceable, I'm itching to book a flight, just to fly out there to see her to at least get that closure! Of course, I won't be doing that as I'm not made of money, but that just makes it harder for me as I hate being stopped from doing things because of money, even though I know this is a fact of life!

Anyway, I'm going to try and leave it a couple of days, then I'm going to send her an e-mailing laying it all out. If she only replies to tell me yes it is over, then ok, I'll have to move on. If she doesn't reply, I'll just have to cope the best I can!

I'd like to thank all you guys for your comments. I've very grateful to those that were highlighting the red flags, but weren't too brutal about it! :-) And of course, I'd like to thank those of you that were as optimistic as I was, and I appear to continue to be! :-)

[eula mackay]

no offense dave, if she really needed the money, why lie? its not about the money, is it? its about integrity and honesty.

dont mean to be nasty, of course her friend would say she genuinely likes you. shes her mate after all! im not saying she does not like you full stop, but its obviously not enough as she can lie to you, eg about money and civil status.

if i am in your shoes i wont even bother. dont be upset, i am looking from outside and what i see inside is a recipe for disaster. emotional. physilogical. financial. psychological.

move on mate. there are loads of other women who deserves you, i dont think its anna.

[DaveUK]

Aye, true enough. It's a fair point, but I thnk I'm either too forgiving, too desperate, or more likely both! I do know the score, I think I'm just having a little trouble letting go! I'll get there in the end I'm sure! :-)

[KeithD]

Aye, true enough. It's a fair point, but I thnk I'm either too forgiving, too desperate, or more likely both! I do know the score, I think I'm just having a little trouble letting go! I'll get there in the end I'm sure! :-)

I uderstand desperate.....you only have to look at my ex ......luckily I was pssst

[IanB]

I've been offline for a while, so I haven't read all the replies so sorry if I repeat something. It is NOT NOT NOT true that all bar girls are a bad idea, very far from it as I know many people happily married to such ladies.


sorry to hear your experience has been so bad, though.

Ian

[DaveUK]

Cheers IanB. Shame mine wasn't one of them! Never mind though! :-)

[adam&chryss]

I feel for you mate I really do. You`ve done nothing wrong and she`s treated you terribly. There`s no excuse for ignoring someone that`s gone out of their way to help you but thats what she`s done. You sound like a good man and if you learn from this you`ll move on and meet someone worthy of your love. Of course words won`t help you at this time. It`s hard and you don`t what to do. I`ve been there too. Time is a great healer, stay true to yourself and everything will be fine. Just don`t expect it to be with her! When you find someone that truly loves and respects you then you`ll look back on this and know you`ve learnt something. It`s like a stepping stone to a better life. Now you know what to look out for you can move on in time and find someone special.
Chin up mate!
There`s always a light at the end of a dark tunnel

[DaveUK]

Cheers fella. Appreciate your comments.

[vbkelly]

Well, here's another little twist to the story!

When I couldn't get hold of Anna this morning and was getting the "redial the number" message which I haven't heard before, I fired off an e-mail to her mobile company telling them I was having a problem getting hold of her. They've just got back to me saying their database shows her mobile is currently roaming. As she's on pay as you go, she can't receive calls. I tested their explanation by phoning my pay as u go filipino mobile and I found I was getting the same voice message.

OK, that explains why I can't get hold of her by phone, and maybe she's text me today (my filipino mobile is at home at the minute so can't check it). But to be honest, that still doesn't put her in the clear!

The reason I lent her the money for the visa was because she couldn't afford the whole thing herself. Yet it now appears she can leave the country! Obviously the money I lent her must of paid for that, so I'm still under the assumption I've been scammed! If she's gone back to Hong Kong, she hasn't switched her HK mobile on, or she's now using a different number there!

hi dave why you don't check british embassy philippines if its true she had an interview that day just double check if she's telling you the truth

[DaveUK]

hi dave why you don't check british embassy philippines if its true she had an interview that day just double check if she's telling you the truth

I did think about that, but then thought that the Data Protection Act would probably kick in and they wouldn't tell me so I haven't bothered!

[DaveUK]

Well, thought I'd put the final chapter on this story! :-)

I've just found out in the last hour, not only did Anna scam me, it was her plan from the start, so I now finally know everything she told me was a lie including what she thought about me!

Ok, I know people highlighted the red flags, but I never realised someone could put on such an oscar winning performance! I'm very impressed, although very hurt! I must admit, as much as it hurts more now to know everything she said to me was a lie, in the long term i think it will make it easier to get over her as I was struggling to understand before why she had done what she had done to me if she loved me!

Ok, I admit, that last line about her loving me sounds stupid given she scammed me, but you weren't there listening to everything she was telling me!

It looks like she really never did have the visa interview as well as I found out from another woman we met in Hong Kong who has already applied for a visa in the past, that she told Anna everything that she would need to apply for a tourist visa including the documentation from me! This woman also told Anna how much her visa had cost (think it included agency fees), so Anna decided that would be the amount she would ask from me. Luckily for me because I'm only partially stupid, Anna only ended up getting half the money from me she originally wanted!

Just in case Anna tries to use my documentation to still get a tourist visa to the UK, I'm going to phone the British Embassy in the Philippines and warn them. Even if she hasn't, the day she does apply for a visa, hopefully it will raise a flag in the embassy and cause her problems!

[Les_lady888]

Sorry to hear bout that Dave ....but well, that experience will make you wiser tho and be extra cautious next time but don't overdo it. I once came across a yankee online who got scammed too and he was very upset that every pinay he talked to he treated as a scammer and in the chatroom, he was always rude to pinays....but then he changed his strategy and went on breaking every pinay's heart. A pinay friend from CDO was one was of his victims and I learned from her that this yankee was having numerous love affairs with lots of Asians all at the same time. But what pissed me off was that despite learning all this, my friend seemed blindly captivated by his charm that she always reasoned out that he was just badly hurt and scammed by a pinay the reason why he is philandering.....Can u believe that??? Pinays can be very "tanga" when blindly in love. I guess most of us got through with that phase lol......so Dave, I hope you wont do the same as the yankee did. For every place in any country there will always be good and bad people. Scammers and cheaters are all over the world. Bad luck if you met them and blessings too coz u become wiser and a better person Goodluck Dave!

[aromulus]

Well, thought I'd put the final chapter on this story! :-)

I've just found out in the last hour, not only did Anna scam me, it was her plan from the start, so I now finally know everything she told me was a lie including what she thought about me!

Ok, I know people highlighted the red flags, but I never realised someone could put on such an oscar winning performance! I'm very impressed, although very hurt! I must admit, as much as it hurts more now to know everything she said to me was a lie, in the long term i think it will make it easier to get over her as I was struggling to understand before why she had done what she had done to me if she loved me!

Ok, I admit, that last line about her loving me sounds stupid given she scammed me, but you weren't there listening to everything she was telling me!

It looks like she really never did have the visa interview as well as I found out from another woman we met in Hong Kong who has already applied for a visa in the past, that she told Anna everything that she would need to apply for a tourist visa including the documentation from me! This woman also told Anna how much her visa had cost (think it included agency fees), so Anna decided that would be the amount she would ask from me. Luckily for me because I'm only partially stupid, Anna only ended up getting half the money from me she originally wanted!

Just in case Anna tries to use my documentation to still get a tourist visa to the UK, I'm going to phone the British Embassy in the Philippines and warn them. Even if she hasn't, the day she does apply for a visa, hopefully it will raise a flag in the embassy and cause her problems!

I am sorry that my worst fears have been proved correct, I sincerely hoped to have been wrong.

Lots of fish in the sea.....

Sooner or later you will find the right person for you, don't worry...

Rather than worrying about warning the Embassy, I would make sure that your bank details are safe by notifying your bank, to put a stop to any dodgy looking transactions from abroad.

Good luck.

Dom

[DaveUK]

Sorry to hear bout that Dave ....but well, that experience will make you wiser tho and be extra cautious next time but don't overdo it. I once came across a yankee online who got scammed too and he was very upset that every pinay he talked to he treated as a scammer and in the chatroom, he was always rude to pinays....but then he changed his strategy and went on breaking every pinay's heart. A pinay friend from CDO was one was of his victims and I learned from her that this yankee was having numerous love affairs with lots of Asians all at the same time. But what pissed me off was that despite learning all this, my friend seemed blindly captivated by his charm that she always reasoned out that he was just badly hurt and scammed by a pinay the reason why he is philandering.....Can u believe that??? Pinays can be very "tanga" when blindly in love. I guess most of us got through with that phase lol......so Dave, I hope you wont do the same as the yankee did. For every place in any country there will always be good and bad people. Scammers and cheaters are all over the world. Bad luck if you met them and blessings too coz u become wiser and a better person Goodluck Dave!

There is no risk of me treating any Filipina like that guy did as I know that is completely wrong! The only one thing I will say that I still know is wrong but can't help feeling, is that my experience has unfortunately now made me very suspicious of any friendship that has been extended to me by other Filipino women! :-(

No matter how genuine I want to believe they are, I just can't keep help thinking about what Anne did and how I believed her, and that makes me take a very very stand-off approach to the new friendship!

On a side note, no need to worry about my bank accounts aromulus, already taken care of cheers mate! :-)

[joebloggs]

did you watch the program on tv last night?, them are scammers, wether you've been scammed or used, only you know..

I've just found out in the last hour, not only did Anna scam me, it was her plan from the start, so I now finally know everything she told me was a lie including what she thought about me!

she told you?, it was her plan from the start ? why did her friend tell you that she was upset when you left then

things were against her from the start, her job, she was married, maybe she could never let you meet her family, becuase of what you know about her, and they don't know about her.. i'm not defending her one bit, no one likes to be lied or used....

i don't know how much she got out of you money wise, but if she was a scammer she would have got a lot more, looks to me like you've been used dave. just like many guys on here who have been 'used' by their g/f or wife...

wish you better luck next time.

[DaveUK]

Anna never told me it was her plan. I've still had no contact with her! Her friend told me she was upset when I left which to be honest was what I thought I already knew.

For the 2 weeks after I got back to the UK and Anna was still in HK, we would chat every night for about 4 hours, most times with her in tears and drunk because she missed me. She also reckoned she wasn't working because she was so upset, which given the times we were talking on the phone, I believed her.

It was another friend who told me last night that it was Anna's plan from the start to get money out of me! Don't know if the first friend knew that or not, but to be honest, I don't think I'd believe her if she said she didn't know! Then again, bizarrely her first friend asked me to be the godfather to her son and Anna to be the godmother, so I don't know what that says about the whole thing!

[baboyako]

well, you just can't give her up - can you? so you'd better start collecting the visa evidence..

[joebloggs]

4hrs on a phone a night , it was many years b4 i started to phone me misses and thats when i came across a voda pone , i'm sure scouser keith would know about the nec p3 mobile

you've talked to her friend, scammers wouldn't let you do that, like i said, i think you've been used by her, maybe your all the options she had to get bac k home, see her family and go back to HK again. her not replying to you, maybe she thinks your better off without her or the guilt has got to her, what she did to you. i don't know how she does what she does, but then many couldn't understand, but some will do anything they have to , to feed thier family and i'm not calling anyone while sat in the uk working and getting benefits for childcare...

where does this leave you, shes not talking to you, not much you can do dave...

as for her friend, some friend she is !! snitching on her, maybe its true or she just said it to make you feel better and try to get over her..

sometimes its not easy to walk away badboyako, no matter how much you try,, i've been there