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  1. #1
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    Family visit to Cebu with kids ... more worried this time.

    Hi to you all,...been a long time since I posted anything on your forum, although I do pop in now and again to keep up to date.
    Nicely settled here in Scotland with what most of our friends would say was the perfect marriage between two light-hearted funny people, totally committed to each other.
    I have a nice little business going here and my wife also works in a lovely atmosphere in a wine shop where customers love to see my wife's happy smile.
    So really everything is looking good, as it should be,... so we have decided we may as well take some time out at the end of this year and go back to Cebu and see my wife's family as it's been 5 years since she last saw them (except for Skype).
    The last times we were over our kids were small,.. all the family were wanting to babysit for us, ie. .. take the pram and walk the oldest along the seawall etc. which was fine by us as it freed us up to visit friends and family around the area.
    The whole time we were there(and the times before) we were both so relaxed with this, having relations at the door wanting to be with us to share the time of day and laugh and play with our kids (4yr and 2yr). We didn't mind having the odd get-together party as it brought us all together and showed them our appreciation.
    However,...this time I'm looking ahead in my mind and wondering if it will be quite the same as before. You always dream that you can go back there and continue from where you left off, but somehow I fear that things may be a little different.
    Even my wife has said she feels a little pensive going back,...not that there is any bad feelings between her and her family but more to do with the safety element with our growing kids.
    Our girl will now be 10years old when we go and our son will be 7,...both are like all other Mestisa/mestiso mixes and are very beautiful with skin tones to match.
    I worry about them walking along the seawall with the family this time, thinking I/we should be there to guard them at all times for the threat of un-desireables who now frequent the village especially in the evenings.
    I don't know whether I am being too over protective of my kids or whether there will be a certain amount of safety rules we will have to consider this visit ?
    I'm hoping to spend more time staying at the city hotels where we can enjoy the pools and the food and the malls etc. Does folk on here think that the situation has indeed got a little more 'dangerous' for families with young kids ?... I have no fear of walking around on my own, but different story walking around the streets/malls with my family..


    Jonny



  2. #2
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Relax, everything will be fine. My nephew's girlfriend just had a child 2 months ago in Cebu, my sis spent a month there very recently, as soon as they took the child anywhere in the pushchair/stroller people would gravitate towards them just to look or pinch the baby's cheeks. My sis said one time they needed to change a particularly smelly nappy and a small crowd gathered, maybe 6 or 7 people just to watch. the children and yourself will have a great trip, kids bring out the best in people



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  3. #3
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonnyivy View Post
    Hi to you all,...been a long time since I posted anything on your forum, although I do pop in now and again to keep up to date.
    Nicely settled here in Scotland with what most of our friends would say was the perfect marriage between two light-hearted funny people, totally committed to each other.
    I have a nice little business going here and my wife also works in a lovely atmosphere in a wine shop where customers love to see my wife's happy smile.
    So really everything is looking good, as it should be,... so we have decided we may as well take some time out at the end of this year and go back to Cebu and see my wife's family as it's been 5 years since she last saw them (except for Skype).
    The last times we were over our kids were small,.. all the family were wanting to babysit for us, ie. .. take the pram and walk the oldest along the seawall etc. which was fine by us as it freed us up to visit friends and family around the area.
    The whole time we were there(and the times before) we were both so relaxed with this, having relations at the door wanting to be with us to share the time of day and laugh and play with our kids (4yr and 2yr). We didn't mind having the odd get-together party as it brought us all together and showed them our appreciation.
    However,...this time I'm looking ahead in my mind and wondering if it will be quite the same as before. You always dream that you can go back there and continue from where you left off, but somehow I fear that things may be a little different.
    Even my wife has said she feels a little pensive going back,...not that there is any bad feelings between her and her family but more to do with the safety element with our growing kids.
    Our girl will now be 10years old when we go and our son will be 7,...both are like all other Mestisa/mestiso mixes and are very beautiful with skin tones to match.
    I worry about them walking along the seawall with the family this time, thinking I/we should be there to guard them at all times for the threat of un-desireables who now frequent the village especially in the evenings.
    I don't know whether I am being too over protective of my kids or whether there will be a certain amount of safety rules we will have to consider this visit ?
    I'm hoping to spend more time staying at the city hotels where we can enjoy the pools and the food and the malls etc. Does folk on here think that the situation has indeed got a little more 'dangerous' for families with young kids ?... I have no fear of walking around on my own, but different story walking around the streets/malls with my family..


    Jonny
    A nice read that was.
    Just relax, I bet the family over there can't wait to see their family from here, just be yourself.


  4. #4
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    5 years is a long time, my wife had not seen her family for 5 years until last month when we went back to Palawan. My wife and her mom both cried for 10 minutes when they met at the airport

    I can understand your concerns about your children, 5 years ago little Joe was 5 and like all 5 year olds carefree and running around all the time, the only thing He inherited from his mom was light brown hair and brown eyes, so with a white complexion he stood out like a sore thumb.

    Anyway, 5 years on, he's older, wiser and bigger and I had no concerns at all about his safety and had a stress free holiday and we had no worries at all concerning him that we're taking him back in August.

    So stop worrying, the only tears will be of happiness after your wife sees her family again
    http://www.filipinouk.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=870&dateline=1270312908


  5. #5
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    Thanks for your replies,.... think I might be over-reacting to what I hear goes on nowadays...
    I'm sure the family would love to see us all in person rather than on Skype,.... I remember when my wife first came to live in Scotland,..we were so busy organising our new home that we never went back again for 3 years,... we went over secretly, never told anyone we were coming,...my wife even phone her mum from the city when we arrived to ask what the weather was like today !. Her mum or family had no idea what so ever that we were only 3 hours away and were coming down by taxi.
    I remember it well,.. I still have the video,... we got out the taxi, asked the guy to go have some dinner at the sari-sari while my wife walked up through the trees with me following behind filming her every step. We had to ask the neighbours not to scream when they saw us because we wanted to surprise her mum and sisters who were just lazing around between the trees on hammocks. Once the sister spotted my wife all hell broke loose,..there were screams(Filipina screams) and so many tears and hugs,...I dont know what I was filming as I just couldn't see through my tears as I realised the love of her family to thier returning sibling..
    That was some re-union,.... what a great welcome,... I think I can now look forward to part 2 !! hehe.

    jonny


  6. #6
    Respected Member Harry T's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonnyivy View Post
    thanks for your replies,.... think I might be over-reacting to what I hear goes on nowadays...
    I'm sure the family would love to see us all in person rather than on Skype,.... I remember when my wife first came to live in Scotland,..we were so busy organising our new home that we never went back again for 3 years,... we went over secretly, never told anyone we were coming,...my wife even phone her mum from the city when we arrived to ask what the weather was like today !. Her mum or family had no idea what so ever that we were only 3 hours away and were coming down by taxi.
    I remember it well,.. I still have the video,... we got out the taxi, asked the guy to go have some dinner at the sari-sari while my wife walked up through the trees with me following behind filming her every step. We had to ask the nieghbors not to scream when they saw us because we wanted to surprise her mum and sisters who were just lazing around between the trees on hammocks. Once the sister spotted my wife all hell broke loose,..there were screams(Filipina screams) and so many tears and hugs,...I dont know what I was filming as I just couldn't see through my tears as I realised the love of her family to thier returning sibling..
    That was some re-union,.... what a great welcome,... I think I can now look forward to part 2 !! hehe.

    jonny
    Just go enjoy the trip, and don't forget to post some pics


  7. #7
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonnyivy View Post
    thanks for your replies,.... think I might be over-reacting to what I hear goes on nowadays...
    I'm sure the family would love to see us all in person rather than on Skype,.... I remember when my wife first came to live in Scotland,..we were so busy organising our new home that we never went back again for 3 years,... we went over secretly, never told anyone we were coming,...my wife even phone her mum from the city when we arrived to ask what the weather was like today !. Her mum or family had no idea what so ever that we were only 3 hours away and were coming down by taxi.
    I remember it well,.. I still have the video,... we got out the taxi, asked the guy to go have some dinner at the sari-sari while my wife walked up through the trees with me following behind filming her every step. We had to ask the nieghbors not to scream when they saw us because we wanted to surprise her mum and sisters who were just lazing around between the trees on hammocks. Once the sister spotted my wife all hell broke loose,..there were screams(Filipina screams) and so many tears and hugs,...I dont know what I was filming as I just couldn't see through my tears as I realised the love of her family to thier returning sibling..
    That was some re-union,.... what a great welcome,... I think I can now look forward to part 2 !! hehe.

    jonny
    I thought about doing that a few times years ago

    I don't know what you're waiting for, time you went
    http://www.filipinouk.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=870&dateline=1270312908


  8. #8
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    I understand your concerns.

    There is a big difference between small closely-supervised toddlers, and lively, active, and independent youngsters (especially with the unfortunate reputation Cebu has for foreign pedos ).

    I would have no doubts that your family members will take good care of your youngsters, but of course they should not be allowed to just wander anywhere.

    I have experience of taking my own boy and my stepchildren (girl and a boy) from my first marriage, to both visit and live in the Philippines... at various ages, from babies to teens. No harm came to them, but of course we kept a close eye on them... just as we did back in the UK.

    Safety on the roads should also be a concern, while they adjust to vehicles approaching from the 'wrong' direction.


  9. #9
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post

    Safety on the roads should also be a concern, while they adjust to vehicles approaching from the 'wrong' direction.
    Yes, ... given the sheer volume of vehicular traffic on roads practically everywhere nowadays!


  10. #10
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    But in the Phils Arthur, you also have to remember to look in a different direction for approaching vehicles (as well as on the footpath ) because they drive on the other side of the road... easy to forget that at first, if you're not careful.


  11. #11
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    But in the Phils Arthur, you also have to remember to look in a different direction for approaching vehicles (as well as on the footpath ) because they drive on the other side of the road... easy to forget that at first, if you're not careful.
    Ah, , Graham ... I seem to recall Myrna actually being a bit like that for a wee while when she first came to the UK in 2009, after being used to seeing people in the Philippines drive on the right!


  12. #12
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    Yes, ... given the sheer volume of traffic on roads everywhere nowadays!
    Due to my worsening hearing problems, Myrna's not keen on letting me go out on my bike ... (because she thinks) I don't take enough care!


  13. #13
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    One of the reasons I stopped driving Arthur (especially fast sports cars).

    My deteriorating concentration and reflexes, were starting to make driving hard work, rather than a relaxed pleasure... and when you also drive for a living, not good.


  14. #14
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    Here I am again,.....still not booked anything,... more so because even family over in Cebu are saying to be carefull !
    Whats your thoughts on still taking my family there, especially in light of recent reports of shootings etc ?
    Maybe Im being too over cautious, even my wife suggested to leave it just now ,....but I'd really like to go over in 3 months time...
    Suppose I'm just too protective of my young family......
    Suggestions please ???


  15. #15
    Respected Member SimonH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonnyivy View Post
    Here I am again,.....still not booked anything,... more so because even family over in Cebu are saying to be carefull !
    Whats your thoughts on still taking my family there, especially in light of recent reports of shootings etc ?
    Maybe Im being too over cautious, even my wife suggested to leave it just now ,....but I'd really like to go over in 3 months time...
    Suppose I'm just too protective of my young family......
    Suggestions please ???
    Not meaning to be rude, but personally I'd respect my families wishes and concerns rather than ask a bunch of strangers on the internet what they'd do


  16. #16
    Moderator fred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonnyivy View Post
    Here I am again,.....still not booked anything,... more so because even family over in Cebu are saying to be carefull !
    Whats your thoughts on still taking my family there, especially in light of recent reports of shootings etc ?
    Maybe Im being too over cautious, even my wife suggested to leave it just now ,....but I'd really like to go over in 3 months time...
    Suppose I'm just too protective of my young family......
    Suggestions please ???

    jonnyivy.. We all moved here 10 years ago... Our kids are not kids anymore and both go to Uni here..
    So far,no worries and in the future I dont expect any!! We are only 2 hours from Cebu..
    Never allow your fears to conquer your dreams mate..
    Very safe here and your in laws will make it Xtra safe for their Puti relatives!! That I can assure you! Trust me...They miss them a lot.
    Book the ticket after you read this post.


  17. #17
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    Cheers fred,...just looking for that extra wee bit of confidence and re-assurance mate , .. probably will end up going over and everything will be fine,....just thought I'd ask from those over there what situ was really like instead of the press..... BTW,...Simon,... Ive been posting on Philippines forums for about 12 years since I married my missus and got ALL the info I ever asked for from the members who,over a period of time became more like friends than "a bunch of strangers" !!..
    Cheers anyway...


  18. #18
    Respected Member SimonH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonnyivy View Post
    Cheers fred,...just looking for that extra wee bit of confidence and re-assurance mate , .. probably will end up going over and everything will be fine,....just thought I'd ask from those over there what situ was really like instead of the press..... BTW,...Simon,... Ive been posting on Philippines forums for about 12 years since I married my missus and got ALL the info I ever asked for from the members who,over a period of time became more like friends than "a bunch of strangers" !!..
    Cheers anyway...
    No worries, glad you didn't think I was being rude


  19. #19
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Jonnyivy, what a great read your thread is and I must thank you for bringing back life to this Forum, great stuff. As for your concern I'm sure you will do what you think is best for your family, enjoy whenever you decide to visit Philippines


  20. #20
    Respected Member jonnijon's Avatar
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    I'm on Mindanao, and there is no problem.


  21. #21
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    Ackhhh well, you only live once !! lol.... I booked our flight a few weeks back now and the date is fast approaching to fly out to Phils with the family.
    My wife is getting all excited now and we are deviously planning how to surprise her mum and sisters this time round. No-one knows of our trip yet, not even our friends here in Scotland,..only one close friend in Cebu knows we are coming so she can set up the surprise for us (and give us a lift down to the village).
    Actually it will be a double surprise as this friend of ours doesn't know that her husband, who has been working abroad for 2 years, will be stepping off the plane with us at the same time and she has absolutely no idea he is coming home!!
    We will be staying in the city hotels for the first few days to get a good sleep and get a feel for the place again before heading way down south to stay at our house.
    I'm very gratefull for the input from the members here for advice and assurances but I will still keep in mind things will be a little different this time with our kids being a bit older.
    I sure will give you a step by step account of what we have in mind to lure our un-suspecting family once we come back home,...
    In meantime I have only a small amount of time to bring in the farm harvest before I go which wont be easy with this damned weather we been having lately !

    Cheers,

    Jonny


  22. #22
    Newbie (Restricted Access) elocinnew's Avatar
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    It's really great to see your family for once in a while. Philippines in general is safe. You will not probably go visiting areas that are not that safe like slums and drug addict infested areas.


  23. #23
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    I'm sure you'll all have a wonderful time.

    For yourself... avoid drinking sessions with the in-laws or other local blokes generally. That's the only time situations can sometimes get out of hand (and I've regularly spent many weeks living with family out there) The rest of the family will be asleep by then normally, of course.

    Enjoy, and please share some pics with us when you get back.


  24. #24
    Respected Member Harry T's Avatar
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    We will be heading down Santander way, to get the ferry over to Dumaguete, then on to Siquijor for some unfinished business, we didnt manage to get over to "Witches Island" earlier this year due to bad weather, and shortage of time.


  25. #25
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    Not far from us then Harry,..we use that ferry quite often...


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