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  1. #1
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    Filipino wife keeps threatening me with Divorce

    Hi all,

    I need a little advice what to do, so stressed right now. I am a british guy married to a Filipina for 10 years.
    My wife keeps threatening me with divorce every time we have the slightest disagreement. This has been happening since we got married so pretty close to 10 year... what should I do?

    Gordy



  2. #2
    Moderator Steve.r's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wizzywizard65 View Post
    Hi all,

    I need a little advice what to do, so stressed right now. I am a british guy married to a Filipina for 10 years.
    My wife keeps threatening me with divorce every time we have the slightest disagreement. This has been happening since we got married so pretty close to 10 year... what should I do?


    Gordy
    Sorry to hear of your problems.

    Divorce her....

    If you are in a relationship that no longer works then isn't it better to get out of the situation? Been there done that. With limited information what else can be said.

    Alternatively, maybe go and seek advice from Relate, if you think there is a way to resolve your problems, do you have children?
    If you want your dreams to come true ...... first you have to wake up


  3. #3
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    We don't have any children... most of the time our marriage is good.... she calms down after a lot of talking then we back to normal. Last time was because I fell asleep in the chair. I work nights and it was my day off and I fell asleep at around 6pm after I had been awake all day. She just seems to lose it. I think she has been like this even before we married... I guess love is blind.


  4. #4
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forum.

    I'm not being funny but if I got married to someone who said this to me not long after tying the knot I would be hearing alarm bells ringing straight away. How have you managed to put up with this nonsense for ten years? She sounds manipulative and immature.

    I suppose the deal clincher is whether you still love her and want to be with her. I guess you don't but I could be wrong. If I am right, the answer is obvious.
    <<<< Me at the Taal Volcano in Tagaytay (November 2013). On this particularly visit to Pinas I arrived in Manila the day after Typhoon Yolanda wreaked havoc further south.


  5. #5
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Hi there and welcome , well indeed love is blind, you are mnot the first and you are not going to be the last either,
    Remember all we are hearing is from the one side here, but please dont take it the wrong way,
    Could it be something she is not telling you about wanting a divorce ,
    Talking is all you can do for now, but deep down you may know what to do also, after 10 years of marriage you must know each other well enough to know if there is something wrong , the truth sometimes is looking you in the face but being alone is what many fear,
    The most important thing is what do you want out of this ,


  6. #6
    Trusted Member grahamw48's Avatar
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    This does not sound like a 'normal' loving relationship at all.

    I think going to see 'Relate' is probably the best idea at this stage.


  7. #7
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    If she's been saying it since you married just ignore it, and if she notices that when she say's it there's no impact, it should go away!


  8. #8
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by michael parnham View Post
    if she's been saying it since you married just ignore it, and if she notices that when she say's it there's no impact, it should go away!
    what?????


  9. #9
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Parnham View Post
    If she's been saying it since you married just ignore it, and if she notices that when she say's it there's no impact, it should go away!
    It's not acceptable behaviour though is it Michael? Especially if he OP has gone to all the trouble of bringing her over from the Phils. The last thing he needs to hear is threats over divorce whether she means it or not.
    <<<< Me at the Taal Volcano in Tagaytay (November 2013). On this particularly visit to Pinas I arrived in Manila the day after Typhoon Yolanda wreaked havoc further south.


  10. #10
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ako Si Jamie View Post
    It's not acceptable behaviour though is it Michael? Especially if he OP has gone to all the trouble of bringing her over from the Phils. The last thing he needs to hear is threats over divorce whether she means it or not.
    I'm living with a lot worse Jamie have done since the first week we met that's why I call her Mrs Angry but there comes a time in your life when you have to accept the dog you know, also my wife and I have no family or friends in this country at all and in twenty years or so when I'm gone she has no one to help her sort anything out because she won't listen when I try to explain things to her, she'll be like a scared little girl. I will keep trying with her because she needs my help long term. That's why I said what I said to wizzywizard I'd swap his one problem for mine any day, it wouldn't be a problem to me it's just a small sentence and if you don't react to it end of argument. Sorry don't mean to offend anyone just my opinion!


  11. #11
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Many of us folk on here have been through divorces already and some like it so much they go through it again and again,
    We all have our reasons why it did not work but i bet we all agree that once it happened we all had a sense something was wrong many months or even years before the divorce.
    So thats why we are here, we all moved on and many have made new lives and maybe for the better too,
    I love my wife and i hope she loves me the same , but if there was a problem then who is kidding who, and if it cannot be sorted out proper between 2 adults then i am afraid you are both wasting your time , life is too short to bury your head in the sand all the time as we all know,


  12. #12
    Respected Member marksroomspain's Avatar
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    Like what Jamie said "Do you love her!" if not the answers simple...

    Tell her to sling her hook and you divorce her...


  13. #13
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Parnham View Post
    I'm living with a lot worse Jamie have done since the first week we met that's why I call her Mrs Angry but there comes a time in your life when you have to accept the dog you know, also my wife and I have no family or friends in this country at all and in twenty years or so when I'm gone she has no one to help her sort anything out because she won't listen when I try to explain things to her, she'll be like a scared little girl. I will keep trying with her because she needs my help long term. That's why I said what I said to wizzywizard I'd swap his one problem for mine any day, it wouldn't be a problem to me it's just a small sentence and if you don't react to it end of argument. Sorry don't mean to offend anyone just my opinion!
    Michael this is a open forum so everyone can see what is said , please be careful , once you have put pen to paper its there for all to see


  14. #14
    Respected Member marksroomspain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Parnham View Post
    I'm living with a lot worse Jamie have done since the first week we met that's why I call her Mrs Angry but there comes a time in your life when you have to accept the dog you know, also my wife and I have no family or friends in this country at all and in twenty years or so when I'm gone she has no one to help her sort anything out because she won't listen when I try to explain things to her, she'll be like a scared little girl. I will keep trying with her because she needs my help long term. That's why I said what I said to wizzywizard I'd swap his one problem for mine any day, it wouldn't be a problem to me it's just a small sentence and if you don't react to it end of argument. Sorry don't mean to offend anyone just my opinion!
    Your a strong man Michael but only you know your Missus better than anyone, personally I couldn't deal with the aggravation of it all and that's me personally...


  15. #15
    Respected Member marksroomspain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevewool View Post
    Many of us folk on here have been through divorces already and some like it so much they go through it again and again,
    We all have our reasons why it did not work but i bet we all agree that once it happened we all had a sense something was wrong many months or even years before the divorce.
    So thats why we are here, we all moved on and many have made new lives and maybe for the better too,
    I love my wife and i hope she loves me the same , but if there was a problem then who is kidding who, and if it cannot be sorted out proper between 2 adults then i am afraid you are both wasting your time , life is too short to bury your head in the sand all the time as we all know,
    Totally agree Steve...


  16. #16
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Parnham View Post
    I'm living with a lot worse Jamie have done since the first week we met that's why I call her Mrs Angry but there comes a time in your life when you have to accept the dog you know, also my wife and I have no family or friends in this country at all and in twenty years or so when I'm gone she has no one to help her sort anything out because she won't listen when I try to explain things to her, she'll be like a scared little girl. I will keep trying with her because she needs my help long term. That's why I said what I said to wizzywizard I'd swap his one problem for mine any day, it wouldn't be a problem to me it's just a small sentence and if you don't react to it end of argument. Sorry don't mean to offend anyone just my opinion!
    Comparing the OP's problem to your own and what I know, I can fully understand where you're coming from now but saying that, the OP shouldn't have to put up with that kind of behaviour just as you shouldn't feel responsible for your wife after what's happened.
    <<<< Me at the Taal Volcano in Tagaytay (November 2013). On this particularly visit to Pinas I arrived in Manila the day after Typhoon Yolanda wreaked havoc further south.


  17. #17
    Moderator Steve.r's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ako Si Jamie View Post
    you shouldn't feel responsible for your wife after what's happened.
    What's happened ?
    If you want your dreams to come true ...... first you have to wake up


  18. #18
    Respected Member Harry T's Avatar
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    sorry to hear your issues wizzywizz,most marriages have to be worked at, none of us is perfect.

    Its simple as others on here have already said, if you love her then obviously you accept the good with the bad. if you have fallen out of love with her, the i ask you why are you still with her ?, obviously you have only told us of certain of your circumstances without knowing the bigger picture its difficult to give you definative advice, No children involved so thats a blessing, but age, property all come into the decision making process, if there is no Love and it sounds doubteful from her side, then get out and start again the ocean is a big place good luck whatever you do..


  19. #19
    Moderator fred's Avatar
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    I think some are jumping the gun a bit here... My wife says sometimes that she wants to bloody kill me!! (this has been happening for 25 years or more!!!!)
    What should I do..See a lawyer,the Police??
    Too much missing detail in the O.P for me to make any further comment.


  20. #20
    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    From my experience with my ex wife who was a Pilipino, I felt things were wrong but she did not want a divorce to hang on to her visa, it was me who divorced her as she would not get help with me from relate, I went alone and saw there was no other option.

    When she says it again, why not say "ok" and see if her reaction changers ?

    I would prefer to be in a good married relationship, but being on your own is better than constant worrying if it will last.
    Mick.
    Mick.


  21. #21
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    I would prefer to be in a good married relationship, but being on your own is better than constant worrying if it will last.
    Mick.
    Mick.
    Wise words Mick, but too often falls on deaf ears ,maybe it's the being alone that scares people


  22. #22
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steve.r View Post
    What's happened ?
    It wouldn't be right of me to say, Steve. It's Michael's decision should he wish to discuss it further.
    <<<< Me at the Taal Volcano in Tagaytay (November 2013). On this particularly visit to Pinas I arrived in Manila the day after Typhoon Yolanda wreaked havoc further south.


  23. #23
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Whatever you all think this is the unbelievable part, My wife and I love each other more than any of you can imagine


  24. #24
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steve.r View Post
    What's happened ?
    We have left the EU, and we have a new PM too, what else do you want to know


  25. #25
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Maybe in your eyes Michael, but what you have been telling everyone on here I don't call that love,
    Name calling is just a form of bullying and it's not any good for you or who ever is on the receiving end of this .


  26. #26
    Moderator Steve.r's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevewool View Post
    We have left the EU, and we have a new PM too, what else do you want to know
    You can lose rep you know Steve
    If you want your dreams to come true ...... first you have to wake up


  27. #27
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevewool View Post
    Maybe in your eyes Michael, but what you have been telling everyone on here I don't call that love,
    Name calling is just a form of bullying and it's not any good for you or who ever is on the receiving end of this .
    If your referring to Mrs Angry, that's not name calling it's just her nickname because she can't help being angry, we laugh about it together


  28. #28
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Parnham View Post
    If your referring to Mrs Angry, that's not name calling it's just her nickname because she can't help being angry, we laugh about it together

    Sorry to say, you are kidding your self, that's if all you have said on here is true,


  29. #29
    Trusted Member grahamw48's Avatar
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    It could be worse...

    A member here ?


    .
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...-face-row.html


  30. #30
    Moderator fred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    It could be worse...

    A member here ?


    .
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...-face-row.html
    Damn!! If he would have paid me 10,000 Quid for advice he could have saved 490,000!!
    Think on!!


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