Greetings All!

[neocupiduk]

As the title says, greetings to all the current forum dwellers! I have decided to sign up here as I am looking for your advice on meeting and dating a Filipino girl that I have met through an online dating site.

Being completely new to this, my head is a bit of a whirl trying to absorb all the facts and advice that is out there regarding this subject!!

In summary though, the girl I am speaking to seems genuine as far as I can tell and is very keen to come and visit me. She has sent me pictures of herself (not rude, before you ask!) and of her with her family, as well as what appears to be a genuine scan of her passport.

She has told me that she can sort out the ticket for a visit to the UK (apparently she can get this free), but she needs financial assistance from me to pay for the fees for her Visa. She says that she would come and stay with me for a month, so we can get to know each other properly.

Given she sent me the scan of her passport, I am wanting to believe that she's genuine. Also I asked her for another picture yesterday, where I asked her to write down my name draw a heart round it and write the date - which she did and sent through to me within a matter of minutes.

Is this a case of me allowing my heart to rule my head on the subject? Can you suggest any ways for me to verify that this girl is a safe investment, both emotionally and financially?

Thanks in advance for your responses.

[raynaputi]

Go to the Philippines and visit her. That's what most guys here in the forum did. By the way, how long have you been chatting?

[neocupiduk]

Go to the Philippines and visit her. That's what most guys here in the forum did. By the way, how long have you been chatting?

Hi Rayna!

We have only been chatting for about a month so far. I'm presuming that the type of visa she is proposing to get would be a visitor visa, which would allow her to stay on a short visit basis.

I have read somewhere else that the most frequent piece of advice that's given is for the suitor to arrange to visit the girl first as they can then verify her.

It would conveniently happen to be the case that the part of the Phillipines she lives in is called North Cotobato and apparently it's very dangerous for foreigners. Not that I'm scared of course, but I did happen to look at the travel advice from the Home Office and it verified this.

[SimonH]

Why not do what Rayna says and go over there for a couple of weeks, or at least suggest it and see what her reaction is. Whilst you're at it, ask if she can get hold of any other free tickets

[grahamw48]

If only life was so simple.

Without going to the Phils you will never understand the country, the culture and the people, let alone establish any kind of genuine relationship....which is surely what you're seeking ?

Also, she may find it extremly difficult to obtain a visa just for a visit.

Would you send money to someone in this country you just liked the look of...but hadn't met ?

First step is to become her Facebook friend, and if you're the slightest bit suspicious (or just sensible), do a bit of fishing around on there.

Next...google her name and any email addresses and forum nics she uses.

[primdale]

Why not try and meet somebody over here?

Just go to a Catholic church or a Filipino Festival and you will find plenty of single ladies.

North/South Cotobato are fine [been to north many times and we have a holiday home in the south].

The place to avoid is western Mindanao = Zamboanga, Tawi Tawi, Basilan etc.

[Jonpotter]

Hello Neocupiduk

I am new here too

Greetings to you

My wife and I - before we married - chatted online for about a year even before I went out there to meet her.

If I were you I would play it cool.

A free ticket?

Yes - can you get me one too.

Good idea about facebook and knowing some more about her family too.

You can get some good advice on this site.

It is - in my own opinion - very hot out here, not like the heatwaves they have in the UK, this heat is something else, it takes some getting use to it and you have to take your time about it.

[highlander01]

I think your heart is ruling your head. We've all done it - been entranced by some gorgeous Filipina - either online or in person. Most are really sweet & genuine but inevitably some have other motives.

You've got photos but you have chatted to her on cam , haven't you (eg Skype, Yahoo)? That would certainly be wise to verify her identity and build a relationship.

I would be wary of paying anything - if nothing else, it starts the relationship on a bad footing. Also, as I'm sure you are aware, it is a classic scam for someone to request you to pay "visa" fees or similar in advance. It's also easy for people to fake scanned documents.

Also in practice, it would be very difficult for her to get a visitor visa to the UK.

I'm sure she's nice. As others have said, why don't you just fly over to meet her? Personally I wouldn't be too keen on going to Cotabato if it's your first time in the Phils - I would suggest perhaps offering to pay for a few peso for a bus ride to transport her to Davao and meet her there.

It's a nice, relatively safe (by Philippines standards ) city. Check into the Marco Polo hotel for a couple of nights & if you hit it off in person there are some nice beach resorts in Samal for a holiday.

[Jentobeharrison]

Skype first, chat, Facebook it's also a chance for you to see her family and friends and what kind of personality she has. Sounds stupid but it's happening that Facebook is now the reflection of someone's life. If you are afraid to go to North Cotabato, you could just ask her if you can meet half way, or in some cities like Davao, Cebu or Metro Manila. Hard to trust on dating sites nowadays and it's quite forward that she's bringing up the topic of financials and stuff.

[melovesengland]

If she will go visit visa way under your sponsorship, she wont make it still as both of you didnt meet eachother yet. Another thing is, majority here submit chat logs etc worth atleast 6 months that proves that you are keeping in touch with eachother and obviously you cant provide it since you only met her a month ago.

Like Rayna said and the rest, keep the communication going for the meantime and maybe after a year come down and visit her and her family in the Philippines.

That is the best you can do, you will have the chance to see the culture, the place, understand the family ties and bond and enjoy the beauty of the country.

Most important thing is be wise, use ur heart in balance with ur brain and refrain from sending any money to any that you have just met online. It doesnt mean that pictures and things you ask her to do she will do and she is then genuine. You will only know if a persons genuine in time, slow process but tested and proven.

[neocupiduk]

I wanted to come back and say thank you to you all for your advice. I think I am a little star-struck by the idea that a beautiful Filipina girl is that keen on me that she is willing to travel so far for what is not a great deal of money.

Of all of the replies here, I have to say I think that this post is absolutely spot on.

I think your heart is ruling your head. We've all done it - been entranced by some gorgeous Filipina - either online or in person. Most are really sweet & genuine but inevitably some have other motives.

You've got photos but you have chatted to her on cam , haven't you (eg Skype, Yahoo)? That would certainly be wise to verify her identity and build a relationship.

I would be wary of paying anything - if nothing else, it starts the relationship on a bad footing. Also, as I'm sure you are aware, it is a classic scam for someone to request you to pay "visa" fees or similar in advance. It's also easy for people to fake scanned documents.

Also in practice, it would be very difficult for her to get a visitor visa to the UK.

I'm sure she's nice. As others have said, why don't you just fly over to meet her? Personally I wouldn't be too keen on going to Cotabato if it's your first time in the Phils - I would suggest perhaps offering to pay for a few peso for a bus ride to transport her to Davao and meet her there.

It's a nice, relatively safe (by Philippines standards ) city. Check into the Marco Polo hotel for a couple of nights & if you hit it off in person there are some nice beach resorts in Samal for a holiday.

I've suggested something along these lines to her so gauging her response to the suggestion might prove useful in determining whether she is genuine or just a scam artist.

[Dedworth]

Good luck with your mission Neocupiduk

[Terpe]

Glad to learn your visit here was helpful

Plenty of folks look towards online routes to meet others.
It's a sad by-product of cyberspace that extra careful checking and vetting is essential regardless of location.

Good luck