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19th October 2007 #1
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Bridget`s Tip a new Lady in the village
I just want to share some ideas on how to be loved by your future in-laws or perhaps your in-laws if you`ve been married already to your Mr. Right. Im sure your husband or fiance is so proud to have you finally there in the UK.
These are based on my personal experienced while I`m in the UK.
1. Be prepared- you may ask some information from your partner about his family. Thier birthdays, their favorite hobby, favorite food and etc. Your partner may also help to build you up to his family, he can mention to them about you, your background. In that way, bot parties will not be shock the moment you get to the UK and finally introduced you to his circle of friends and family.
2.Be Creative- give some effort to learn about english cooking. I love baking, so what I did when we went his Dad`s 80th birthday, we baked a cake and together with my partner , we decorate it with the theme of cricket. His family amazed and appreciate our masterpiece and his Dad was really happy and very proud of our work. In that way, they will remember you even youre not around, especially when his celebrating his birthday. I love making personalize greeting cards,too so I always send them my handmade greeting cards, such as birthday, easter, christmas or even just to say "hello" cards.
Do a general cleaning and decorate the whole house as well as the garden, I even helped my fiance to paint the bedroom wall. I reorganized the things in the house, but make sure you discuss this with your partner, because even your married or living together remember that you have to respect him and considered him as the head of the family, at the end of the day, he is the real owner of the house so its just appropriate to ask permission from him.
When you done decorating the house, have plan inviting your in-laws to come over for a asian and western food dinner not all of them of course its not easy to be a hostess. I cooked the morcon, recipe can find in the internet. I also make my own mushroom soup, and just steamed vegestable such as brocolli and carrots. For dessert I made the cheesecake as I`ve heard her mum loves it. So very simple, the morcon is typical special dish in the Philippines but I was pretty sure that they will like it. The parents were really impressed! not only to the delicous food I served but most of all they appreciate how the bare house turn into a lovely home with the good smell of my burn scented-oil, I got the scented-oil burner on 5 minute before the guest arrived so that the house smells lovely. But if you do have one, just use the air spray freshener.
3. Be confident, be yourself, be a modest filipina-remember that filipina once known of being modest, lovely and polite.
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19th October 2007 #2
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Continuation:
Im sorry I happened to click the submit button by accident, my previous thread was not edit and finish yet.
Anyway, I have to go for now and will continue this thread later. Thanks.
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19th October 2007 #3
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Im sorry friend, the title of this thread should be;
Bridget`s Tips To The New Lady in the Village.
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19th October 2007 #4
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Continuation;
Be yourself, remember at the start it looks like everyone is looking at you. I remember when were having christmas lunch with my fiance`s family. I can`t help to bring our natural trait of being helpful to others, I always innitiate to help them such as setting up the table or help them to do the dishwashing. Its up to you how you gonna sell yourself to them, but for me I always believe that first impression last.
4. Be friendly- invite them to one of your holiday. Go to some special places with your in-laws. I asked my fiance to invite his parents to come with us to Portsmouth to see the Spinnaker Tower then after that we had our dinner together. It was lovely day, we all had a great time. It was not easy to please them, it was such a great fun to walk with them along the seawall in Porthsmouth after a full day of watching the football match where their favorite team played. Take some photographs with them and sit for a while and chat.
5. Be thoughtful- you do not need to spend a fortune to please them. Remember to send them postcard. I send them postcard even Thank you card when Im away.
6. Language problem- Do not hesitate to tell them" pardon me" if you can`t understand what theyre talking about.In that way, they will speak a bit slowly. Do not be upset, you re not the only one experience this, Im sure even them are trying to adjust themselves to your accent.
I know these are very common, but I hope it will be helpful to you if you are first timer in the UK.
Lastly, goodluck to the new chapter of your life. You are brave, brilliant, smart and lovely. With the support, love and care of your Mr. Right Im sure you can fight that homesickness.
Im fortunate that my fiance`s family have been very nice to me. His Mum always get in touch with me by phone calls,greeting cards, letters, and postcards. Im so proud of them and grateful to them that they made my stay in the UK such as wonderful and memorable one. I will say that to meet them and have great time with are the most wonderful experience I had in the UK. Of course most especially the unconditional love, care and thoughtfulness of my fiance is the greatest thing I`ve ever found in the UK that makes every minute of waiting is worth.
Thanks,
Bridget
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19th October 2007 #5
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I just want to make a correction: I said " It was not easy to please them" what I meant to say is " They were not difficult to please"
Thanks,
Bridget
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19th October 2007 #6
Great read and i know it will help many ladies as settling into a new culture is hard.
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19th October 2007 #7
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So nice to think your daughter-in-law is really exerting much effort to please the parents-in-law....You will be loved by your husband more...
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20th October 2007 #8
Thanks for the tips it will help us then adopt the new culture for our new country soon.
A relationship founded in GOD will last forever and will always compromise trust and happiness, as all good thoughts are derived from wisdom and faith,and trust .
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20th October 2007 #9
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Thank you so much for taking time to read my post.
Best regards to everyone.
Thanks,
Bridget
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20th October 2007 #10
thats a good post Bridget, i hope i can experience having an in-laws too..:(
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20th October 2007 #11
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20th October 2007 #12
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20th November 2007 #13
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20th November 2007 #14
Bridget, I just read your creative piece, excellent, I am sure it will help lots of young ladies who end up coming to UK, your experiences are very valuable for all of us...thanks
Pete_Forum Moderator
Philippines marriage, Courtships, UK Entry Clearance
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21st November 2007 #15
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