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  1. #31
    Respected Member bigmarco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mathe View Post
    Hi! I got interested in your query because it seemed very earnest and sincere.

    Just like any other ethnic groups, some Filipinos are good and some are not. In the case of your Filipina lady, she seems to be uninterested in coming over here, so that indicates that she is not just after citizenship, etc.

    If you have sustained a relationship long distance from her for a few years, then perhaps, she deserves your trust. You just have to be very sensitive to communication cues that Filipinas usually give. They are not very frank about their feelings sometimes and even when they are embarrassed or hurting, they would still be smiling. If her English is good enough, then she should be able to open up to you if you ask her about her sincerity.

    Filipinas are naturally caring. They don't leave their husbands when the going gets tough, especially when they were treated well. If you are going to reside in the Philippines, though, you have to be prepared to "marry her entire family", if you know what I mean. You would be, by some unwritten agreement, obliged to help her entire family if they have money or something like that. They are not taking advantage of you - that is just how they think. So that when you are in need of their help and they can, they will be there for you as well.

    I hope you will find happiness with her/
    Hi Mathe and welcome to the forum
    What an excellent first post and suitably rewarded


  2. #32
    Respected Member sweet_mazza's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mathe View Post
    Filipinas are naturally caring. They don't leave their husbands when the going gets tough, especially when they were treated well. If you are going to reside in the Philippines, though, you have to be prepared to "marry her entire family", if you know what I mean. You would be, by some unwritten agreement, obliged to help her entire family if they have money or something like that. They are not taking advantage of you - that is just how they think. So that when you are in need of their help and they can, they will be there for you as well.
    Marriage is sacred. We all have differences but because of love we tend to find ways to resolve the issue and not running away from it.



    ==================
    Hi Pat,

    I suggest that if ever you will visit or stay here in the Philippines, you might be interested to attend a pre-cana seminar being handled by CEFAM at Ateneo. It can really help you a lot with regards to your relationship with your lovely girlfriend. It helped me and my fiancee on how we deal with our differences (cultural, emotional and spiritual). It'll explain the 'Authentic Love' and the 5 Languages of Love. hehe. it made feel like its First Love. ^_^

    AJA!

    I am seeking, I am thriving, I am in it with all my heart. - Vincent van Gogh

    #freediver
    #surfer


  3. #33
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    That sounds like a great idea. Thanks my friend.


  4. #34
    Respected Member somebody's Avatar
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    Some great advice already given but do of course keep your eyes and ears open. Is the family fully open and all the members apparent to you?
    Are there any ticking time bombs waiting for you?

    Sorry to sound clinical but it's worth thinking about and just noting anything which doesnt seem right. Many pinay just like people from all over the world are just looking for friendship and love but there are many examples both of users of this forum and elsewhere who have been sucked in on a long term scam.

    She needs to get though university how did.her age.group peers in her family fund university?

    Is there a house in good repair?

    Are there any family members who have serious health issues?

    Just ask how did you meet?

    Why did she click with you and not someone else?

    Does she mention other suitors?

    Have you told her your situation and it might be worth a few times indicating your not a rich man the best relationships even between pinay and westerns have love at the centre not money, looks or visa status.
    I know of very pretty, intelligent young girls be loyal to guys much older who are not well off, not good looking living in not the best house in the uk in happy long term relationships.

    I know of many pinay who are loyal and loving whatever happens to the man they love. Hoping this is the case for you :-D


  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    and a few members on here have been scammed, used and abused over the years , thankfully only a SMALL number
    Yes, I can vouch for that. ...I also agree on Arthur's initial post as well. ..no good me subscribing my opinion, I'm currently going through the bitter and twisted stages. ...the bright light is that she don't wanna leave the Philippines. Always a good sign unless you plan on building a multimillion peso gaff then that wld throw a different complexion on matters. You are right, if the relationship goes pear shaped you do indeed lose everything. ....the only women I trust with my life are my Mother and Daughter. ..so don't mind me


  6. #36
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    i cant add much more to this thread , many before have given very good advice, but in the end its what you feel that counts,
    Just remember you are only here the once so enjoy it all


  7. #37
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Hi Bikerpat, My summing up of everything I have read so far is, you seem to have found a very genuine loving and caring young lady and my advice would be to go ahead with whatever plan you have for your future together. I will say, that I wish you and your lady all the best for the future and you can get all the help you need with anything you need to know from the members of this forum as you go along!


  8. #38
    Respected Member highlander01's Avatar
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    Do your due diligence but if it works out & checks out then go for it. Life is too short.

    But as others have said - do leave yourself a fall back position ( property etc in Ireland ) if everything does go pear shaped.


  9. #39
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    Highlander is right. ..you need a back up plan if only for peace of mind and a good night's sleep. ......I certainly wouldn't tempt fate, at least not again.

    I agree with life bein too short and going for it etc. ..surely their has to be a balance between calculated risk and mindless stupidity, something I've been reminded of on a daily basis. I sure as hell wouldn't want other forum members to go through the same excrement as I am presently bein dragged through.


  10. #40
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    Hi all,

    Too many to reply to individually.

    I love the honesty and openess of the members on this forum and I am not offended in any way by any comments or flattered by the positive comments (although I like them better).

    I have know my g/f for 3 years. I know the family. I was just speaking with my g/f today and it's so uplifting listening to her and her excitment about out future plans.

    She and her family know all about the crap I'm curently going through with a Thai woman I brought over from Wales and who after getting her Irish passport scarpered off to live with her sister in the West of Ireland. Initially the Thai woman was great but didn't stick around.

    So because of that I am on full alert but there is no comparison between the two women.

    There seems no issues with her family and I have clearly stated I am not a rich man, am retired on pension and will not be coming to Phils to support anyone but my g/f. I organised a meeting to clear this fact plus other matters so we're all in the clear before this goes any further. And I have not received any negative reaction from the family.

    I speak regularly with an aunt of hers and some of her friends and they all they me she is madly in love with me and misses me everytime.

    My g/f in Phils has no wish to leave the Philippines, she is very mature for her age. Has never tried to scam me and anytime we have been together she never drags me into shops to get me to spend etc.... She does not smoke, drinks very litte and only with me, eats shag all when we go out, and is so gentle and sweet to be around. Sometimes I don't even think she's in the room. She's very affectionate and as she says to me, I'm her teacher. When I met her first I was her first man and she said that her desire to meet me was built up over the 6 months we were chatting online. She admits to having many suitors back in her town and even in the jobs she worked in but she refused and still refuses them all. I have put an engagement ring on her finger and I think word is out that she's taken. Even when we're out guys look at her and she gets very uncomfortable and sometimes switches chairs so that she is not being stared at.

    My mind is made up on her. My gut tells me go for it or I'll regret not doing this for the rest of my life. I honestly couldn't imagine my life without her. She has all the things I ever dreamed about in a woman.

    However my plan will be to come to Phils, travel around until we find a suitable place to live, that we both like. Work off a budget that reasonable, save money but I will have funds back in Ireland that will be staying in Ireland.

    I have other option in SEA should things not work out and I can always come back here if I wish.

    But I have to admit it folks, I have fallen for my Filipina g/f and I hope our plans come through.

    Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings. Appreciate it very much and again feel free to write back.

    Love you guys,

    Pat


  11. #41
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    Nice post Pat

    We all wish you well.

    Hope you'll continue to stay around, share you experiences, join the banter and humour and hopefully pick up some genuine help from a broad range of experience here.

    Some here will be following the same path as you.

    The Philippines is a marvelous, wonderful country and the people are the best in the world. So polite and hospitable and always willing to help.

    The Philippines is pretty much the same as any other country, keep your wits about you, use good common sense, stay out of known trouble areas and you'll be OK.

    Most of the negative moaning and complaining you'll hear is from people who were mostly unprepared for a move to another country and culture. They likely didn't do their homework.
    Make no mistake the Philippines is different. Not bad, but different.
    Many become upset because the Philippines isn't western enough. Not like UK
    If you're looking for a life-copy of a Euro Zone country the you'll not find anything like that in the Philippines.
    Better to stay in Ireland.

    What I hope you'll discover is wonderful experience. A great country with great people who mostly have their own unique way of doing stuff. Read the forum, ask questions, search past postings and you'll gain a lot and minimise any unpleasant surprises.

    It's a wise strategy to rent at first until you both find a place you're comfortable with.
    I wish you good luck.


  12. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terpe View Post
    Nice post Pat

    We all wish you well.

    Hope you'll continue to stay around, share you experiences, join the banter and humour and hopefully pick up some genuine help from a broad range of experience here.

    Some here will be following the same path as you.

    The Philippines is a marvelous, wonderful country and the people are the best in the world. So polite and hospitable and always willing to help.

    The Philippines is pretty much the same as any other country, keep your wits about you, use good common sense, stay out of known trouble areas and you'll be OK.

    Most of the negative moaning and complaining you'll hear is from people who were mostly unprepared for a move to another country and culture. They likely didn't do their homework.
    Make no mistake the Philippines is different. Not bad, but different.
    Many become upset because the Philippines isn't western enough. Not like UK
    If you're looking for a life-copy of a Euro Zone country the you'll not find anything like that in the Philippines.
    Better to stay in Ireland.

    What I hope you'll discover is wonderful experience. A great country with great people who mostly have their own unique way of doing stuff. Read the forum, ask questions, search past postings and you'll gain a lot and minimise any unpleasant surprises.

    It's a wise strategy to rent at first until you both find a place you're comfortable with.
    I wish you good luck.
    Thanks Terpe,
    That is so kind of you. I have been travelling to SEA since 1992 and have always felt I 'belong' in that region. So I have no hang-ups about living there especialy with the lovely g/f I have.
    It'll take a bit of time to settle etc... but I'm leaving myself covered by keeping monies back in Ireland.
    When I've been to Philipinnes or Thailand or Cambodia I have never had a problem in 21 years and I always seem to get on with people in both cities and rural places. I travel with a smile and I love meeting people. I'm no fool and will be careful of course and having her ladyship along will be of great help. She's a smart woman for her age and as she says I', your asawa and it's now my job to watch over you.

    Am going to give it a try and thank you again for your words of encouragement.

    Of course I'll keep in touch with this forum and would love to meet any of the forum people who live in Phils.

    Regards,

    Pat


  13. #43
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    You'll be just fine mate

    It's funny what you said, I too always felt more comfortable and more at home in Asia.

    We'll both be fine I feel


  14. #44
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    So are you out there now bikerpat?

    Would be interesting to see how you got on 3 years later


  15. #45
    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    All the best to both of you Pat
    Make the most of life.
    Mick.


  16. #46
    Respected Member Harry T's Avatar
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    Yeah would be lovely to know how these two guys got on.


  17. #47
    Newbie (Restricted Access) baileyjay's Avatar
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    If you're looking for somewhere for her to study, check out Dumaguete as it's known as a university town.


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