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  1. #1
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    Loyalty of Filipina girl

    Hi to all on the site.

    Just need an opinion and I hope I don't offend anybody.

    I met a Filipina girl on a dating site 3 years ago and we have developed a serious relationship since. I have visited her 5 times, met her family who seem real nice and shared some lovely times together where we got on really really well.

    When I met this girl she was working in a mall and has since moved to Manila to live with her uncle and she now works in a factory.

    She's a most lovely person. I have really fallen for her and my dream is to move to Philippines to live together. I am retired and always loved South East Asia but I'm not sure I'd like to move there and be alone.

    Over the last 3 years she has been totally honest, open and loyal to me.

    There is a large age difference between us. I'm 59, she's 21 but from the very first time we met we have have got on so well you'd never think of that age difference.

    As I said over the last 3 years she has come across to me as a sincere and honest girl. She says she loves me so much and hopes we can be together. Also I speak to her family and friends on Facebook and they all say that she loves me and is totally loyal and faithful and hope that we can be together as we seem a perfect match.

    My girl does not want to leave Philippines and would be quite happy for us to settle in someplace where we both are happy with. She does want to do some studying.

    The reason I'm posting here is that I married a Thai lady before and took her to Ireland after 7 years she walked out on me and went to live with her sister in another part of Ireland.

    And I had treated this girl really well. Am currently in the legal process of trying to separate from her legally.

    So back to this lovely Filipina girl I have met and am in love with.

    Are Filipina women trustful, loyal and faithful once they commit themselves to a man? Does the age difference become a problem later?

    I know in my girl's situation it's a call I have to make for myself so I am looking for a general view from you men folk on here.

    I do know if I moved there set up home with her and she left me it would leave me in a very bad place at this stage of my life as I may have to sell my home here in Ireland to settle with this Thai woman and pay all the legal fees.

    In general I have found Filipina people much nicer people than the Thai's.

    Would appreciate your views and comments.

    Thanks

    Pat



  2. #2
    Respected Member imagine's Avatar
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    it doesn't seem to matter at all the age difference,

    there are bad apples in every bunch, but generaly i would say they are more faithful and caring than our western women,

    be sure that she wants you for the right reasons, and not for money, which it doesn't look that way, seeing as how you will loose half your house wealth to your ex, plus she doesn't want a visa to come live with you, so i would say that looks good,

    give some thought to the fact that medical care is private there, and your getting older,with respect to that, keep money aside for emegency,

    i had one led me on for over 3 years,

    but i am glad to say i have met my diamond at last,

    i too am going to live with her, i am selling up here in uk,and expect to start my new life there this september, like you i am 59 also, my asawa is 10 years younger,

    for me i think go for it , you only live once


  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by imagine View Post
    it doesn't seem to matter at all the age difference,

    there are bad apples in every bunch, but generaly i would say they are more faithful and caring than our western women,

    be sure that she wants you for the right reasons, and not for money, which it doesn't look that way, seeing as how you will loose half your house wealth to your ex, plus she doesn't want a visa to come live with you, so i would say that looks good,

    give some thought to the fact that medical care is private there, and your getting older,with respect to that, keep money aside for emegency,

    i had one led me on for over 3 years,

    but i am glad to say i have met my diamond at last,

    i too am going to live with her, i am selling up here in uk,and expect to start my new life there this september, like you i am 59 also, my asawa is 10 years younger,

    for me i think go for it , you only live once
    Thanks for that. She has seldom asked me for money over the three years. I bought her a laptop on my last trip as a 21st present but more so to make it easier to keep in touch. She used to have to go to internet shops all the time. She seems very sincere and after three years is still with me. According to her family and friends I am her first man. She tells me she loves me very much and that she wants to be with me. No, money is not a motivation. I found your answer very positive. Thank you. What's your name and where do you live. Regards, Pat


  4. #4
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    it might be possible if you go and live with her for 2yrs in the phils, to be able to apply for a un-married partner visa, bring her to the uk and let her study in the uk for a few years, then see if she wants to stay or go back to the phils
    http://www.filipinouk.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=870&dateline=1270312908


  5. #5
    Respected Member imagine's Avatar
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    you live in ireland, i think thats eu rules for a visa if she wanted to come to you at some point,

    im stewart, an english man living in scotland


  6. #6
    Trusted Member grahamw48's Avatar
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    From what I've read about Western/Thai versus Western/ Filipino relationships over the years, the latter do seem to last better, and the cultures seem to blend a little better too.

    As your relationship has already endured for a few years, and with the other info you've supplied, then I see no reason why you and your partner shouldn't have a happy future together, regardless of any age gap. All you can do is give things a try. As we know, there is never a relationship that comes with guarantees.

    I too am hoping to retire to the Phils, and be with my (very much younger ) lady there, after having previously been married for 15 years to another Filipina, who was 16 years my junior (age gap never was an issue with the ex).

    I would urge you not to 'burn your boats' entirely in your home country though, and certainly to keep some funds back home...just in case you need to return, for whatever reason.


  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by imagine View Post
    you live in ireland, i think thats eu rules for a visa if she wanted to come to you at some point,

    im stewart, an english man living in scotland
    Sorry I only noticed afterwards you were still in Scotland. Are you going for the retirement visa or what visa? And have you a plan yet for where you are staying in Philippines?

    She doesn't want to come to Ireland and it would be impossible for her to get a visa.

    I'm retired and I want to go to Philippines where I'll get better value for my pension and be with this wonderful woman in her own environment.

    Regards

    Pat


  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    it might be possible if you go and live with her for 2yrs in the phils, to be able to apply for a un-married partner visa, bring her to the uk and let her study in the uk for a few years, then see if she wants to stay or go back to the phils

    Hi and thanks for your response. She doesn't want to leave Philippines. I want to go there. Am retired and my pension will go much further over there than here. That 2 year deal sounds good. Didn't know about the unmarried partner visa, is that a Philippine visa? I was thinking of applying for a retirement visa under the Philippine Retirement Agency. It's expensive process though but it's a permanent visa. Any further thoughts appreciated. Pat


  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    From what I've read about Western/Thai versus Western/ Filipino relationships over the years, the latter do seem to last better, and the cultures seem to blend a little better too.

    As your relationship has already endured for a few years, and with the other info you've supplied, then I see no reason why you and your partner shouldn't have a happy future together, regardless of any age gap. All you can do is give things a try. As we know, there is never a relationship that comes with guarantees.

    I too am hoping to retire to the Phils, and be with my (very much younger ) lady there, after having previously been married for 15 years to another Filipina, who was 16 years my junior (age gap never was an issue with the ex).

    I would urge you not to 'burn your boats' entirely in your home country though, and certainly to keep some funds back home...just in case you need to return, for whatever reason.
    Sound advice and thank you. I will keep funds here just in case !!!!


  10. #10
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    Hi folks,

    Please post any other advice here. I really appreciate any words of wisdom because at my age uprooting from Ireland and moving to Phils is a major step. I also worry re healthcare over in Phils.


  11. #11
    Respected Member imagine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bikerpat View Post
    Sorry I only noticed afterwards you were still in Scotland. Are you going for the retirement visa or what visa? And have you a plan yet for where you are staying in Philippines?

    She doesn't want to come to Ireland and it would be impossible for her to get a visa.

    I'm retired and I want to go to Philippines where I'll get better value for my pension and be with this wonderful woman in her own environment.

    Regards

    Pat
    im going for the 13a residency visa , this is if you are married to her, a lot of work to get it but its a cheaper option than renewing tourist visa every few months, and cheaper than retirement option with regard to how much you need stuck in an account,
    of course if you marry, there is the balakbayan privilege which gives you 1 year visa free,
    there are many threads and post you can read up on, which will give a lot to think about


  12. #12
    Respected Member sweet_mazza's Avatar
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    Hi bikerpat, healthcare here is not for free and very expensive especially meds. make sure you have emergency savings. we have Philhealth but you will only be covered if you are legally married to your partner here.

    If you are planning to have kids, education is not free too. we have public schools but i dont recommend that. private schools are much better but University of the Philippines is the only exception.
    I am seeking, I am thriving, I am in it with all my heart. - Vincent van Gogh

    #freediver
    #surfer


  13. #13
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    Sheriel from Leyte

    Quote Originally Posted by sweet_mazza View Post
    Hi bikerpat, healthcare here is not for free and very expensive especially meds. make sure you have emergency savings. we have Philhealth but you will only be covered if you are legally married to your partner here.

    If you are planning to have kids, education is not free too. we have public schools but i dont recommend that. private schools are much better but University of the Philippines is the only exception.










    Age is just a number,Filipinas are Loyal,Loyal,you have found a diamond,good luck for the future


  14. #14
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Hello BikerPat, don't worry about age gap, my wife is 43 years younger than me and we were made for each other!


  15. #15
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    As someone once told me, Thai women consider sex as a gift from God and Filipino women consider marriage as a gift from God. So the Pinays win

    It might be a good idea to do a few '59 day visas' each year before committing to a decision. Gives you time to get to know her better before making the plunge plus you need to know what's going to happen with your ex. I wouldn't make a commitment until that matter was sorted out.
    <<<< Me at the Taal Volcano in Tagaytay (November 2013). On this particularly visit to Pinas I arrived in Manila the day after Typhoon Yolanda wreaked havoc further south.


  16. #16
    Respected Member bigmarco's Avatar
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    Hi Pat
    From what you've said looks like you've met a gem.
    I think the fact you've hooked up 5 times and speak to all the family is a great sign.
    Is there no way you could rent your place in Ireland out for say 12 months and give it a go for a year so your completely confident about the future.
    If not then perhaps it's just time to take the plunge after all life's far to short .
    Good luck


  17. #17
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    Hiya Pat

    I think you have answered most of your worries regarding your fiances loyalty and sincerity by all the positive insight into how you feel about her and vice versa.

    I too was worried about the age gap between myself and my beautiful wife but here we are nearly 2 years later both happy as can be with our son to boot.

    One bit of advice from me is to use your gut instinct and reminisce from all the times you spent together how you felt at that time, how happy you both were/are and go from there, if she makes you happy and you make her happy then forget whats happened in the past and go for it good luck.


  18. #18
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bikerpat View Post

    There is a large age difference between us. I'm 59, she's 21 but from the very first time we met we have have got on so well you'd never think of that age difference.
    Pat ... as you'll have already observed, the 38-year age gap is "NO BIG DEAL" in the eyes of the OTHER respondents to this thread. And it doesn't seem to matter a jot to the lass herself, who - from what you've mentioned here about her - comes across as being a pretty mature-minded person, in spite of her comparative youth.

    But ...


    Quote Originally Posted by bikerpat View Post
    According to her family and friends I am her first man. She tells me she loves me very much and that she wants to be with me.
    ... without wishing to put a dampner on the hopes & dreams of either of the two of you for a future together, I must express just a little concern about the words I've highlighted in bold above. Not that I'm doubting their sincerity, ... AT THIS POINT IN TIME! But by all accounts, you're her first boyfriend ... my point there, being ... ... how can someone of such tender years be sure her feelings will remain the same several years down the line if she's never been in any previous relationships to compare this one with?


  19. #19
    Respected Member keith britten's Avatar
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    I met a Filipina lady online about 2 1/2 years ago, I came to visit her in the Phils and it was love at first sight. We have been married for 18 months now and I couldn't ask for a more loyal, loving and trustworthy wife. I'm 66 and she's 42 but that doesn't make love any less secure. I have moved out here and we are very happy together. Not to sure about the retirement visa option, seems like you have to deposit a load of money here for that. I'm here on a 13a residents visa, had no problems getting that after we were married. If your instinct tells you to do it then go for it. But I will add a foot note, I've known of 2 or 3 Filipina women since I've been here that seem to be using westerners.


  20. #20
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by keith britten View Post
    But I will add a foot note, I've known of 2 or 3 Filipina women since I've been here that seem to be using westerners.
    and a few members on here have been scammed, used and abused over the years , thankfully only a SMALL number
    http://www.filipinouk.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=870&dateline=1270312908


  21. #21
    Respected Member Iani's Avatar
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    I've had experience in Thailand, had friends there so spent time there and got to know many people and heard many stories.
    Thai society is very different to pinoy and cannot be compared.
    Frankly listeners going to Thailand and thinking they have found love......the culture clash and not realising what is really happening.....it is like a train wreck waiting to happen.

    I would say you are more likely to find an honest woman in Phils. Its awful to make such a generalization but there you go. You cannot judge your current lady on your Thai ex, the only thing in common is that they are both Asian.

    Then again there are many Pinay scammers. Just trust your judgement. Life would be boring if you didn't take risks sometimes though huh. Some things we just have to give a try or later regret.

    Oh and slightly off topic, if you want an insight into how a relationship can go so wrong....especially when some westerner thinks he's found love in a place he shouldn't look if he had sense, then read a book called Private Dancer by Stephen Leather. You can download it for free legally as well as buy a paper copy from the usual outlets.


  22. #22
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    Thanks all. Arthur your comment re no previous relationship is well noted and I had difficulty with this at first but am convinced she's being honest about that fact. We have discussed this a lot and she is absolutely certain I am the one for her. And I knew when I first met her, after seeing how nervous she was, that this was all a new experience for her. Jamie, agreed re sorting out the current matter and is prepared to wait. She has assured me she is not the same type of woman as the THAI that I can depend on her. My Filipina is fully aware of the matter. My Filipina girl just started a job yesterday to keep her occupied. And Iani I have read Private Dancer. The Thai woman before was not a sex girl, I met her in Wales, UK and I know now I was used to get her into Ireland so she could reunite with her sister who is already in Ireland for over 12 years. My Filipina girl most certainly has never been in the sex business. She was raised by her aunt , whom I've met, under very strict guidelines. My girl's mother died when she was young. I agree with some comments. I think I have met a gem, I suppose the Thai experience has me on a higher state of alert than I should be. I love this girl and she's a total joy to be with. I have never met anyone like her before who is so caring and loving and after 3 years she is still with me. She is very pretty, has been courted but has refused all advances and even her friends tell me on FB that she has no interest in other men and talks about me a lot.

    Thanks again folks and keep the comments coming.

    Re renting my house here. I cannot do that because if the Thai woman here about it she can come and order the tenants out and take over whilst I'm away. That's Irish law for you. So I need to clear that whole mess first, see if I have to sell the house, what pension I will still have, in case she's entitled to a share and then hopefully make plans to go to Phils where I know I'll be happy with this girl.

    Regards

    Pat


  23. #23
    Respected Member Iani's Avatar
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    Hi don't worry I wasn't suggesting your ex was from that sort of background. That book though does provide an insight on to huge cultural misunderstandings. One thing you do notice is that there are no good or bad guys......both sides are at fault and it should just not have happened.

    Anyway, good luck :-)


  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iani View Post
    Hi don't worry I wasn't suggesting your ex was from that sort of background. That book though does provide an insight on to huge cultural misunderstandings. One thing you do notice is that there are no good or bad guys......both sides are at fault and it should just not have happened.

    Anyway, good luck :-)
    Completely understand my friend. However most guys here in Ireland have picked up their Thai women from bars and the majority have ended in disaster. The thing about me moving to Phils, if I can, is that my lovely girl will be in her own environment and I love it there so it shouldn't be as complicated as she coming here. I do believe I have found someone special in Phils and damn it I think I will never rest in peace unless I try a move there with her. She makes me happy in so many ways and has a calmness about her that really relaxes and soothes me, yet has a wicked sense of humour. Doesn't smoke, rarely drinks, eats little (she's slim), is happy in herself and is always willing to try new things and so a lovely sense of gratitude when I bring her somewhere and do something for her. And when we do go on a holiday she never demands this or that, buy me this or that. Never. But I always give her money to get herself something and she seems to always have a sense of getting something I like.

    I better stop this now or I'll have myself in a state. I really miss being with her and when we cam and go offline I get a terrible sense of loss.

    Thanks for your support.



    Pat


  25. #25
    Admin's Assistant ^_^ raynaputi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bikerpat View Post
    Completely understand my friend. However most guys here in Ireland have picked up their Thai women from bars and the majority have ended in disaster. The thing about me moving to Phils, if I can, is that my lovely girl will be in her own environment and I love it there so it shouldn't be as complicated as she coming here. I do believe I have found someone special in Phils and damn it I think I will never rest in peace unless I try a move there with her. She makes me happy in so many ways and has a calmness about her that really relaxes and soothes me, yet has a wicked sense of humour. Doesn't smoke, rarely drinks, eats little (she's slim), is happy in herself and is always willing to try new things and so a lovely sense of gratitude when I bring her somewhere and do something for her. And when we do go on a holiday she never demands this or that, buy me this or that. Never. But I always give her money to get herself something and she seems to always have a sense of getting something I like.

    I better stop this now or I'll have myself in a state. I really miss being with her and when we cam and go offline I get a terrible sense of loss.

    Thanks for your support.



    Pat
    Glad that you've found the right girl for you Pat!
    -=rayna.keith=-
    ...When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible...



  26. #26
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    If you're looking for somewhere for her to study, check out Dumaguete as it's known as a university town.
    <<<< Me at the Taal Volcano in Tagaytay (November 2013). On this particularly visit to Pinas I arrived in Manila the day after Typhoon Yolanda wreaked havoc further south.


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    Hi! I got interested in your query because it seemed very earnest and sincere.

    Just like any other ethnic groups, some Filipinos are good and some are not. In the case of your Filipina lady, she seems to be uninterested in coming over here, so that indicates that she is not just after citizenship, etc.

    If you have sustained a relationship long distance from her for a few years, then perhaps, she deserves your trust. You just have to be very sensitive to communication cues that Filipinas usually give. They are not very frank about their feelings sometimes and even when they are embarrassed or hurting, they would still be smiling. If her English is good enough, then she should be able to open up to you if you ask her about her sincerity.

    Filipinas are naturally caring. They don't leave their husbands when the going gets tough, especially when they were treated well. If you are going to reside in the Philippines, though, you have to be prepared to "marry her entire family", if you know what I mean. You would be, by some unwritten agreement, obliged to help her entire family if they have money or something like that. They are not taking advantage of you - that is just how they think. So that when you are in need of their help and they can, they will be there for you as well.

    I hope you will find happiness with her.


  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mathe View Post
    Hi! I got interested in your query because it seemed very earnest and sincere.

    Just like any other ethnic groups, some Filipinos are good and some are not. In the case of your Filipina lady, she seems to be uninterested in coming over here, so that indicates that she is not just after citizenship, etc.

    If you have sustained a relationship long distance from her for a few years, then perhaps, she deserves your trust. You just have to be very sensitive to communication cues that Filipinas usually give. They are not very frank about their feelings sometimes and even when they are embarrassed or hurting, they would still be smiling. If her English is good enough, then she should be able to open up to you if you ask her about her sincerity.

    Filipinas are naturally caring. They don't leave their husbands when the going gets tough, especially when they were treated well. If you are going to reside in the Philippines, though, you have to be prepared to "marry her entire family", if you know what I mean. You would be, by some unwritten agreement, obliged to help her entire family if they have money or something like that. They are not taking advantage of you - that is just how they think. So that when you are in need of their help and they can, they will be there for you as well.

    I hope you will find happiness with her.
    Hello Mathe, good post, well put.

    Welcome aboard Filipino UK forum

    Hope you'll stay around and make new friends here


  29. #29
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    Thanks to all. My girl can be sensitive. I tend to speak my mind when something is bothering me and sometimes that upsets her and I feel crap but at least the problem is resloved. Whereas she tends to say something is 'secret' if she appears to have some issue. Cultural difference again maybe?


  30. #30
    Trusted Member grahamw48's Avatar
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    I'd say yes, definitely cultural differences and pretty much the norm.

    Filipinas are often quite emotionally sensitive, so you do need to be careful with the British 'speak your mind' habit, as it's very much in opposition to the 'saving face' culture of the Filipinos. Lip-biting time.


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