Guys...I suggest you bear this in mind

[Slip]

You actually made a point in talking about money? I have a lot to learn in the world still it would seem!

We were talking about things in general and she said she wished I could fly over and see her. I said I would love to if I had the money. But seeing 10 months before I had been abroad for a month and then in September I had a complete bathroom refit and a new boiler that I had lspent my savings and it would take me a few years to save up again.

But also partly I wanted to test the waters so I didn't get conned. This internet dating is all new to me and I am very cautious still to this day. I don't care how much time and effort I have put into it, I will try my hardest to not get conned. I don't believe I am being conned, but my guard is up just incase.

For the record, she has never asked me for money and I do think she is genuine. It's not fair to tar all Filipino women with the same brush just because of a few.

[grahamw48]

It's not fair to tar all Filipino women with the same brush just because of a few.

Agree.

[Lancashirelad]

We were talking about things in general and she said she wished I could fly over and see her. I said I would love too if I had the money. But seeing 10 months before I had been abroad for a month and then in September I had a complete bathroom refit and a new boiler that I had lspent my savings and it would take me a few years to save up again.

But also partly I wanted to test the waters so I didn't get conned. This internet dating is all new to me and I am very cautious still to this day. I don't care how much time and effort I have put into it, I will try my hardest to not get conned. I don't believe I am being conned, but my guard is up just incase.

For the record, she has never asked me for money and I do think she is genuine. It's not fair to tar all Filipino women with the same brush just because of a few.

I also think its unfair of a guy to string a girl along for many months or years if he truly has no money. Flights to and from the Phillipines are expensive as also are visa's, cfo, ielts ect ect, and of course there is the minimum earnings requirements now for fiancee/Spouse visas. If men arent financially capable of of progressing a relationship beyond an online relationship, they should think seriously about filling a ladies head and heart with dreams of life abroad with her new boyfriend.

[Terpe]

I also think its unfair of a guy to string a girl along for many months or years if he truly has no money. Flights to and from the Phillipines are expensive as also are visa's, cfo, ielts ect ect, and of course there is the minimum earnings requirements now for fiancee/Spouse visas. If men arent financially capable of of progressing a relationship beyond an online relationship, they should think seriously about filling a ladies head and heart with dreams of life abroad with her new boyfriend.

I'll go along with that

I personally know too many cases where the bloke just doesn't meet the mark.
It's just a personal thing that makes me so sad.
I'm in the middle of one right now.

[bigmarco]

I also think its unfair of a guy to string a girl along for many months or years if he truly has no money. Flights to and from the Phillipines are expensive as also are visa's, cfo, ielts ect ect, and of course there is the minimum earnings requirements now for fiancee/Spouse visas. If men arent financially capable of of progressing a relationship beyond an online relationship, they should think seriously about filling a ladies head and heart with dreams of life abroad with her new boyfriend.

Excellent point.
I know of a case at the moment where there's a girl who's head has been filled with promises that are all going to come to nothing. It's not right and I'm sure there's a lot of it going on. We only tend to here the negative stories about the women on here but I'm sure there's plenty of women out there with horror stories of their own.

[Slip]

I also think its unfair of a guy to string a girl along for many months or years if he truly has no money. Flights to and from the Phillipines are expensive as also are visa's, cfo, ielts ect ect, and of course there is the minimum earnings requirements now for fiancee/Spouse visas. If men arent financially capable of of progressing a relationship beyond an online relationship, they should think seriously about filling a ladies head and heart with dreams of life abroad with her new boyfriend.

I can totally understand what you are saying. But I am not stringing her along. I do really like her lots. I am just a very cautious person and worry that she could be scamming me. I am 90% sure she isn't. But then I am not going to spend a fortune to visit her and find I am being scammed. We are only a few months into this and I am quite happy to continue the relationship as we are for a while longer yet, just to be 100% certain.
For the record I have asked her to come to the UK, but she has a contract with her employer for another 16 months (if I remember rightly) She is currently working in Singapore and has told me there is no point in me coming to meet her there as she won't have time to see me due to work.
She is in Philippines now for Christmas and asked me to come with her. Unfortunately I have no holiday time owing at work this year and we aren't allowed time off over Christmas unless it's an emergency.
I am not totally skint and it wouldn't take me long to save to go. But As she probably wont be getting any time off now until next Christmas, that would be the earliest we could meet, and I have already told her she would have to come to the UK for Xmas 2013 as I cant get it off work. So time will tell if she will.


But please do believe me when I say I would love nothing more than us to be together permanently. Also it works both ways you know when you say about filling a ladies head with dreams.

[bigmarco]

I can totally understand what you are saying. But I am not stringing her along. I do really like her lots. I am just a very cautious person and worry that she could be scamming me. I am 90% sure she isn't. But then I am not going to spend a fortune to visit her and find I am being scammed. We are only a few months into this and I am quite happy to continue the relationship as we are for a while longer yet, just to be 100% certain.
For the record I have asked her to come to the UK, but she has a contract with her employer for another 16 months (if I remember rightly) She is currently working in Singapore and has told me there is no point in me coming to meet her there as she won't have time to see me due to work.
She is in Philippines now for Christmas and asked me to come with her. Unfortunately I have no holiday time owing at work this year and we aren't allowed time off over Christmas unless it's an emergency.
I am not totally skint and it wouldn't take me long to save to go. But As she probably wont be getting any time off now until next Christmas, that would be the earliest we could meet, and I have already told her she would have to come to the UK for Xmas 2013 as I cant get it off work. So time will tell if she will.


But please do believe me when I say I would love nothing more than us to be together permanently. Also it works both ways you know when you say about filling a ladies head with dreams.

She hasn't asked you for anything up to now apart from your company at Christmas. I think it's fair to assume she's not conning you.
You say once that it will take you a couple of years to save up again and later that she will have to come to you next Christmas 2013. Surely you understand that it's far easier for us to visit them and it really doesn't come to an awful lot of money to jump on a plane and spend some time together if only for a week.
To be brutally honest I get the impression that she's probably a bit more serious about this than you. She seems far keener than you to clear that first obstacle.
I think the men hold a lot of the cards in these online relationships but I think it is somewhat naïve to expect a lady to wait for such long periods for these relationships to move on to the next level. I honestly couldn't blame a lady like this for having a few online male friends because it would be foolish on her part to sit around waiting forever for someone to be 100% satisfied they are not being conned.

[stevewool]

Surely you understand that it's far easier for us to visit them and it really doesn't come to an awful lot of money to jump on a plane and spend some time together if only for a week.

I honestly couldn't blame a lady like this for having a few online male friends because it would be foolish on her part to sit around waiting forever for someone to be 100% satisfied they are not being conned.

it is easy for many of us to travel there plus take it as a holiday to somewhere that you have never been before so plan to visit other places with your new girl if the family lets you, also how many times have you read or heard about men going over to the phils and planning to meet more then the one lady, i was talking to a few ladies once but i only went to see the one

[gWaPito]

I also think its unfair of a guy to string a girl along for many months or years if he truly has no money. Flights to and from the Phillipines are expensive as also are visa's, cfo, ielts ect ect, and of course there is the minimum earnings requirements now for fiancee/Spouse visas. If men arent financially capable of of progressing a relationship beyond an online relationship, they should think seriously about filling a ladies head and heart with dreams of life abroad with her new boyfriend.

Gratitude for the member to comment here otherwise I wouldn't of known this thread existed.

How about if I chopped in my trusty ever faithful C5 for an Aston Martin. .I wonder if my fellow taxpayers wouldn't mind helping me out with the maintenance bills I thought not. Moral of the story is, live within your means.

Me personally won't be Internet dating again. .I failed twice, never to be repeated.

Better to save and earn your money instead of wasting hours trolling sites looking for love while on the other side of the coin they are trolling site for mugs like me.

The age gap issue. ..for me, the age gap was a major contribution to my 2 failings. ...Not matter how well we got on in their own environment as soon as they settled here and met likewise here it changed. ..cld go on. ..I won't.

It seems some of my Aunts and Uncles married with over 10 years differences, the fact was, it made a difference especially in later life when the wife was in her 50's and the husband in their late 60s. ...okay, I'm going back to the day when men wasn't expected live live much past 64 years but, resentment was there, even in the 1940's and 50's.

Yes, I hear some say we are happy blah blah blah. ..which I don't doubt for one minute give it a decade or so down the line then see how one feels.

Just my biased opinion folks

[bigmarco]

Gratitude for the member to comment here otherwise I wouldn't of known this thread existed.

How about if I chopped in my trusty ever faithful C5 for an Aston Martin. .I wonder if my fellow taxpayers wouldn't mind helping me out with the maintenance bills I thought not. Moral of the story is, live within your means.

Me personally won't be Internet dating again. .I failed twice, never to be repeated.

Better to save and earn your money instead of wasting hours trolling sites looking for love while on the other side of the coin they are trolling site for mugs like me.

The age gap issue. ..for me, the age gap was a major contribution to my 2 failings. ...No matter how well we got on in their own environment as soon as they settled here and met likewise here it changed. ..cld go on. ..I won't.

It seems some of my Aunts and Uncles married with over 10 years differences, the fact was, it made a difference especially in later life when the wife was in her 50's and the husband in their late 60s. ...okay, I'm going back to the day when men wasn't expected live live much past 64 years but, resentment was there, even in the 1940's and 50's.

Yes, I hear some say we are happy blah blah blah. ..which I don't doubt for one minute give it a decade or so down the line then see how one feels.

Just my biased opinion folks

Totally understand your views Mark but you never know what's round the corner.
It's horrible when it goes wrong but I always take the view that the success stories outweigh the nightmares.
Never say Never matey

[gWaPito]

Totally understand your views Mark but you never know what's round the corner.
It's horrible when it goes wrong but I always take the view that the success stories outweigh the nightmares.
Never say Never matey

Cheers Marco

I'm not giving up on love. .it's just I got other more pressing priorities than thinking about oneself. .I'm the bottom of the pile at this time Not a problem with that.

I say the age difference played a part along with the culture issues I thought we didn't have.

Next time someone near my own age, looks unimportant. .What's the good of a beauty when the heart's rotten.

Inherently good people do think that good overcomes evil. .and I'm glad to say, it does. ..unfortunately, most think these nasty things won't happen to then. ..such is human nature. .no gain without risk. .yeah why not. ..Please let the risk be calculated and not just a stab in in the dark.

Time won't be on my side the next time. I'll use my life experiences more wisely in future.