My filipina girl is still married advice needed please!

[cookmuck]

hi all,
I have been chatting online with a filipina girl since May this year, i have just spent two weeks with her in Dubai where she took annual leave and we had an amazing two weeks. I knew she had been married before she has told me everything & i have met her family via the web & chat to her sister who lives in the UK.
My problem is that she separated from her husband 8 years ago and they have done nothing more about it. I am serious about her but am worried about her getting her certificate of singleness, please can anyone advise on this situation please.

[Terpe]

hi all,
I have been chatting online with a filipina girl since May this year, i have just spent two weeks with her in Dubai where she took annual leave and we had an amazing two weeks. I knew she had been married before she has told me everything & i have met her family via the web & chat to her sister who lives in the UK.
My problem is that she separated from her husband 8 years ago and they have done nothing more about it. I am serious about her but am worried about her getting her certificate of singleness, please can anyone advise on this situation please.

Hi there cookmuck, welcome to the forum.

Your g/f is married. Period.
She can not become single until she gets "unmarried". For anyone from Philippines this means securing an annulment to a marriage.
There is no divorce in Pinas in the same sense as most of the world.

There are plenty of people here who have been through that experience, and there are many who are currently in the process.
Everyone is more than happy to share best practice to help you
It takes some time and it takes some money. Sometimes it's easier than others. The case of your g/f may be one of the less tricky ones based on what you've disclosed.

Try doing a search here on the forum and then ask any questions for clarifications.

Good luck

[joebloggs]

another option , thou not pratical for most people, go and live with her in dubai or if she can get a work permit to come to the uk, live togther for 2yrs and apply for an unmarried partner visa.

[Maria B]

hello cookmuck,

welcome to this friendly forum.
your concern is very common. to get rid of your worries, annulment is the solution.
whenever she filed a certificate of singleness from NSO, the result would show her previous marriage unless she's annuled.
if she's separated for 8 yrs...w/o communication from the ex that's a big bonus. How I wish she's from Cebu as I could refer to her my solicitor (lawyer) whom I budgetted for Php50,000 (2006) & I paid it on staggerd payment basis with extra fees for psychologist & messenger that it comes up Php100,000. It has different range depends on which area she lives. If she's from Luzon, it's higher rate especially nowadays. I got my lawyer thru a friend's referral & explained that it's a hard earned money of mine with the help of my family...If u will decide about this matter, friendly advise...please remind her not to tell her lawyer that she's in a relationship w/ a foreigner.
Guess u can also find some answers from this forum too.
Best of luck!

[cookmuck]

Thank you all,

Maria, her sister has applied for her singleness certificate on her behalf and will get results on Monday 22nd August. She told me she had a civil wedding back in 2002 and the only reason she has not done anything about it is the cost of an annulment and I am the first foreign boyfriend she has had. I want to ask her to marry me but I not sure about the annulment process. She has a son with the ex husband does this complicate things and
has there been cases where you cant get annulment?

[sars_notd_virus]

Thank you all,

She told me she had a civil wedding back in 2002 and the only reason she has not done anything about it is the cost of an annulment and I am the first foreign boyfriend she has had. I want to ask her to marry me but I not sure about the annulment process. She has a son with the ex husband does this complicate things and

If the NSO database appears that shes married then she will need an annulment, annulment proceedings is expensive in the Philippines(250,000-300,000pesos) , it can vary depends on how complicated her case is...wheres the ex husband? wheres the child? is the son living with the ex or with his mother or the relatives?? A Philippine lawyer will be a great help regarding this issues.

[cookmuck]

Thanks for you reply,

Her son stays with her mom back home while she works in Dubai, her sister is very switched on to legal matters and is assisting until she is released from her contract in November.

Her ex Husband has been with another woman for over 7 years, and he has occasional contact with the son. Am i setting myself up for a fall here?
I love the girl but am really concerned that im in for a real long wait.

[toging]

welcome to the forum cookmuck!!! if shes married BE READY then....for and u need to be patient as well (it takes time)....if she will be going for an annulment its BEST to file it in provinces rather than in manila....coz lots of cases to handle the more chance that urs will be put on hold.....plus it is much cheaper as well!!

[cookmuck]

hello cookmuck,

welcome to this friendly forum.
your concern is very common. to get rid of your worries, annulment is the solution.
whenever she filed a certificate of singleness from NSO, the result would show her previous marriage unless she's annuled.
if she's separated for 8 yrs...w/o communication from the ex that's a big bonus. How I wish she's from Cebu as I could refer to her my solicitor (lawyer) whom I budgetted for Php50,000 (2006) & I paid it on staggerd payment basis with extra fees for psychologist & messenger that it comes up Php100,000. It has different range depends on which area she lives. If she's from Luzon, it's higher rate especially nowadays. I got my lawyer thru a friend's referral & explained that it's a hard earned money of mine with the help of my family...If u will decide about this matter, friendly advise...please remind her not to tell her lawyer that she's in a relationship w/ a foreigner.
Guess u can also find some answers from this forum too.
Best of luck!

Thank you for the above reply Maria, I dont suppose you have the details of the Lawyer you used in Philippines as I think I'm going to need one. She is from Quezon City area, luckily her sister is helping us as she is a smart girl & help her other sister get married last year to English guy.
I have already told her not to mention to anyone back home that we plan to be together, she just telling people she wants annulment.
regards cookmuck

[Maria B]

Thank you all,

Maria, her sister has applied for her singleness certificate on her behalf and will get results on Monday 22nd August. She told me she had a civil wedding back in 2002 and the only reason she has not done anything about it is the cost of an annulment and I am the first foreign boyfriend she has had. I want to ask her to marry me but I not sure about the annulment process. She has a son with the ex husband does this complicate things and
has there been cases where you cant get annulment?

cookmuck,

As I mentioned earlier if she's married (civil/church), it will appear married in her certificate of singleness. It's so nice for her sister to process it for her. Let's just see & wait for the result.

Her status is a bit like mine. I've got a son from my ex & he stayed with my parents while I go to work but was married in a church set-up. I also had no other foriegn relationship except with my husband now. My solicitor said, civil wedding is easy to be annuled because it's just a paper while church wedding is, I have to face the church policy at the same time. To go straight to the point, nobody can stop you if you want to propose marriage to her as you love her (& she loves you). If you are a bit hesitant to offer her marriage because she's still "tied-up" then there you go, investigate more on what annulment in the Philippines is all about, talk to her how she feels about it, symphatize her emotional feeling. It's hard to recall the past (been there, done that) but she has to as she will be asked by her lawyer again & again & the reason why she wants annulment.

Having a son from her previous marriage will not complicate things. I haven't heard about complicated things that you mentioned & that they can't get annulment.

When both of you are ready to take a further step about this matter...the lighter side is, you have faith with each other. Remind her to find a lawyer that is an expert about the annulment (thru referral from friends). AS it is a case to case basis. Just remember that the bonus part of the procedure are as follows:
- she has no communication with her ex...the lawyer will asked when did she last saw him.
- she haven't recieved any financial help from the ex to raise her son.
- the last address that she knows where her ex lives for the messenger to send the subpoena.
- the messenger will investigate at the same time too(how their relationship was) not only sending the subpoena.
- if the ex will not reply up to 3 subpoenas...it will be a bonus for her.
- if the ex will not appear in the court...another bonus for her.
- She will be ask for at least 3 witnesses (family, relatives, friends) on how thier relationship was & why it should be ended. Most valid reasons are....he's a gay, she's being battered (with police report), he cannot support her, infidility, too much addiction with drugs & needs to rehab). Anyways the lawyer will explain to her everything.
- She will undergo psychology interview as required. The son will do the same. It depends how old is the son & how she wants her son to be interviewed (either in a quiet cafe/ restaurant).

You mentioned that her ex lives with another woman now? then it is automatically null, although a legal declaration of nullity is required to establish this.

And I will reiterate again, please remind her not to tell the lawyer that she's into a relationship with a foriegner. Keep it discreet between the two of you even don't let the ex knows about it.

My case was with a strong ground reason, I mentioned the package deal rate at the above #4. I lodged my case on July & got my finality on Dec...same year 2006.

If you want to speak with my husband to share your thoughts, I will leave it up to you. My husband doesn't mind at all. He's very willing to help but he's not a member here.

Looking forward to your happy ending story.

[cookmuck]

cookmuck,

As I mentioned earlier if she's married (civil/church), it will appear married in her certificate of singleness. It's so nice for her sister to process it for her. Let's just see & wait for the result.

Her status is a bit like mine. I've got a son from my ex & he stayed with my parents while I go to work but was married in a church set-up. I also had no other foriegn relationship except with my husband now. My solicitor said, civil wedding is easy to be annuled because it's just a paper while church wedding is, I have to face the church policy at the same time. To go straight to the point, nobody can stop you if you want to propose marriage to her as you love her (& she loves you). If you are a bit hesitant to offer her marriage because she's still "tied-up" then there you go, investigate more on what annulment in the Philippines is all about, talk to her how she feels about it, symphatize her emotional feeling. It's hard to recall the past (been there, done that) but she has to as she will be asked by her lawyer again & again & the reason why she wants annulment.

Having a son from her previous marriage will not complicate things. I haven't heard about complicated things that you mentioned & that they can't get annulment.

When both of you are ready to take a further step about this matter...the lighter side is, you have faith with each other. Remind her to find a lawyer that is an expert about the annulment (thru referral from friends). AS it is a case to case basis. Just remember that the bonus part of the procedure are as follows:
- she has no communication with her ex...the lawyer will asked when did she last saw him.
- she haven't recieved any financial help from the ex to raise her son.
- the last address that she knows where her ex lives for the messenger to send the subpoena.
- the messenger will investigate at the same time too(how their relationship was) not only sending the subpoena.
- if the ex will not reply up to 3 subpoenas...it will be a bonus for her.
- if the ex will not appear in the court...another bonus for her.
- She will be ask for at least 3 witnesses (family, relatives, friends) on how thier relationship was & why it should be ended. Most valid reasons are....he's a gay, she's being battered (with police report), he cannot support her, infidility, too much addiction with drugs & needs to rehab). Anyways the lawyer will explain to her everything.
- She will undergo psychology interview as required. The son will do the same. It depends how old is the son & how she wants her son to be interviewed (either in a quiet cafe/ restaurant).

You mentioned that her ex lives with another woman now? then it is automatically null, although a legal declaration of nullity is required to establish this.

And I will reiterate again, please remind her not to tell the lawyer that she's into a relationship with a foriegner. Keep it discreet between the two of you even don't let the ex knows about it.

My case was with a strong ground reason, I mentioned the package deal rate at the above #4. I lodged my case on July & got my finality on Dec...same year 2006.

If you want to speak with my husband to share your thoughts, I will leave it up to you. My husband doesn't mind at all. He's very willing to help but he's not a member here.

Looking forward to your happy ending story.

thanks again Maria,
I really appreiciate the advice, we are waiting to see what the details of the certificate will be on Monday, then go from there. The other hurdle we have is my girlfriend is working in Dubai and might not get back home until November 2011 or March 2012, really to speed up the process she will need to be present in the Philippines.
But thanks again, I will keep you informed how we get on.
regards cookmuck