Question about having children?

[FertileOne]

Who has decided to start a family with their filipina brides?

Have there been problems in this regard i.e. you not wanting children, but she wants them? Or you wanting children quickly before you get too old (i.e. not wanting to be an extremely old father), and her wanting to wait until she gains citizenship etc.

I'd figure due to the age gap, this would be one of the sticking points/negotiating points in most of these such relationships.

What about issues with fertility and trying for a baby (for example failed vasectomy reversals, general DNA damage in older sperm resulting in more miscarriages) which have hampered the relationship?

[Englishman2010]

Or you wanting children quickly before you get too old (i.e. not wanting to be an extremely old father), and her wanting to wait until she gains citizenship etc.

I'd figure due to the age gap, this would be one of the sticking points/negotiating points in most of these such relationships.

What about issues with fertility and trying for a baby (for example failed vasectomy reversals, general DNA damage in older sperm resulting in more miscarriages) which have hampered the relationship?

What's your point? Is it an innocent question or the sort of crap that a troll comes up with? Are you suggesting that everyone with a Filipina partner is in their 80's. Don't believe the stereotypes, there are lots of younger guys who have Filipina partners. Your profile says you are 27, if you think everyone who is interested in Filipinas is old, why are you here?

If you are genuine and not one of the many trolls we get, no offence intended

[grahamw48]

I was 38 when I met my Filipina wife to be, and by no means 'washed up' back here in England as regards women...cos of course I was a charming,handsome and comfortably off guy.

I particularly liked Filipinas that's all.

[gWaPito]

Hi and welcome to the forum

Have you ever been married, got kids of your own?

Just curious.

Cheers
Mark

[FertileOne]

What's your point? Is it an innocent question or the sort of crap that a troll comes up with? Are you suggesting that everyone with a Filipina partner is in their 80's. Don't believe the stereotypes, there are lots of younger guys who have Filipina partners. Your profile says you are 27, if you think everyone who is interested in Filipinas is old, why are you here?

If you are genuine and not one of the many trolls we get, no offence intended

Believe me, it's was an innocent question. If I were a troll I'd be here looking to start arguments and to annoy. But that is certainly not what I'm here to do. Granted I do ask questions which push the boundaries, things most people don't like to talk about, but that's just me, not interested in asking what everyone else has asked (I can do a search and quite easily find those answers here). I also like to stimulate debate. Sorry.

Indeed, I am only 27, and I do realise that not everyone on this forum who is with a filipina is old enough to be a granddad. But to pretend that there is not a mechanism in place here whereby a Westerner can seek a foreign bride, who is desperate to get out of her country to have a better life would be silly.

Not saying it's the case with everyone here, but it seems common for the man to be around 40-50, and the bride to be in her 20's. To me that's a significant age gap (i.e. 20 years). My ex was 10 years older than me, so I'm not unfamiliar with age gaps in relationships, and I don't have a problem with it. The implication was that in some cases, the husband may have already had kids with an ex-wife/partner, and may not have wanted to have more, or possibly had a vasectomy etc. I never meant to imply that any of you are old and washed up.

I'm looking to meet a filipina myself. My social circle of friends are mostly White, Mixed Race, and Black. I prefer to broaden my cultural influences. Most South Asians are quite closed when it comes to relationships with those outside their ethnicity or caste. Whereas Filipinas seem more open.

I've never been married, I don't have kids of my own. Although as I mentioned before I've helped friends (lesbians) conceive children via Artificial Insemination (i.e. I was their sperm donor).

[Steve.r]

Believe me, it's was an innocent question. If I were a troll I'd be here looking to start arguments and to annoy.

But to pretend that there is not a mechanism in place here whereby a Westerner can seek a foreign bride, who is desperate to get out of her country to have a better life would be silly.

Well, you dont seem to be doing very well so far, and with assumptions like that I dont think you will win many more friends.

So are you paying child support then ? if not why not ?

[joebloggs]

Indeed, I am only 27, .

only 27, your old to my 21yr old stepson who's married with 2 kids

[Lancashirelad]

Hmmm my Fiancee wants children, she's 24 im 41, we decided that we will have a couple of years here first and do lots of travelling then start our family. Not an issue for me, I like children and love my girlfriend so am happy to try for children with her.

[grahamw48]

Mine was 22 and me 38.

No problems to be honest....maybe better if you've a more mature head on your shoulders.

My boy (17) and I get on great.

We've got Kerrang rock station blasting out of our bigscreen and cinema system at the moment. Rockin away here.

[medg22]

I am 22 and my hubby is 27. I would love to have children in the future but my hubby doesn't like to have any :( but I really hope he would still change his mind someday...

[joebloggs]

I am 22 and my hubby is 27. I would love to have children in the future but my hubby doesn't like to have any :( but I really hope he would still change his mind someday...

didn't you talk about that b4 you got married ?

i've got a 22yr old stepson, 10 yr old daughter and 4yr old little joe, never been a problem at all

[Doc Alan]

What about issues with fertility and trying for a baby (for example failed vasectomy reversals, general DNA damage in older sperm resulting in more miscarriages) which have hampered the relationship?

Why do these issues concern you ? Men can normally reproduce at any age because stem cells in the testes keep dividing to produce sperm, even after vasectomy ( in which case the sperm are not present in semen). Women are born with all the eggs they will ever have, and it's well known that increasing maternal age decreases the chance of successful pregnancy. It's true that natural or assisted conception is more difficult for older men, because after around the age of 40 there is an increased chance of DNA damaged sperm. The chances of miscarriage or possible effects on children are lessened, however, if the woman is younger than 35.
As for reversal of vasectomy, it depends on the time after vasectomy, and experience of the surgeon. One specialist surgeon, who has performed this procedure on 700 men in 3 years, has a high success rate, including a forum member.

[bornatbirth]

Who has decided to start a family with their filipina brides?

Have there been problems in this regard i.e. you not wanting children, but she wants them? Or you wanting children quickly before you get too old (i.e. not wanting to be an extremely old father), and her wanting to wait until she gains citizenship etc.

I'd figure due to the age gap, this would be one of the sticking points/negotiating points in most of these such relationships.

What about issues with fertility and trying for a baby (for example failed vasectomy reversals, general DNA damage in older sperm resulting in more miscarriages) which have hampered the relationship?

age gap

my wife is 6 years younger than me, so why do you think that all relationships with filipinas have big age gaps.

im not sure the point of the question, why concern yourself about it as your only 27 are you going to find yourself a older lady or wait until your 50's until you marry

btw i know many filipinas who have married the older man and have started a family , looks like their sperm is fine

[gWaPito]

My 29 yo beautiful wife and my 50 yo self are expecting our 1 st child this May.

Good going considering I had a vasectomy jan 96, it was reversed last end of june.

[steve monty]

I am 22 and my hubby is 27. I would love to have children in the future but my hubby doesn't like to have any :( but I really hope he would still change his mind someday...

I said I would never have kids before I'm 30, as I wanted us to be settled first. Maybe your husband feels the same way, you are still young.

[sars_notd_virus]

Who has decided to start a family with their filipina brides?

Have there been problems in this regard i.e. you not wanting children,

Not a problem at all,... it will come at the right time....

[joebloggs]

age gap

my wife is 6 years younger than me, so why do you think that all relationships with filipinas have big age gaps.

i'm 5yrs and 11 months older than my misses

My 29 yo beautiful wife and my 50 yo self are expecting our 1 st child this May.

Good going considering I had a vasectomy jan 96, it was reversed last end of june.

[sars_notd_virus]

Men can normally reproduce at any age because stem cells in the testes keep dividing to produce sperm, even after vasectomy ( in which case the sperm are not present in semen). Women are born with all the eggs they will ever have, and it's well known that increasing maternal age decreases the chance of successful pregnancy. It's true that natural or assisted conception is more difficult for older men, because after around the age of 40 there is an increased chance of DNA damaged sperm. The chances of miscarriage or possible effects on children are lessened, however, if the woman is younger than 35.
As for reversal of vasectomy, it depends on the time after vasectomy, and experience of the surgeon. One specialist surgeon, who has performed this procedure on 700 men in 3 years, has a high success rate, including a forum member.

true,..a perfect example is my friends grandfather 83 yo and still multiplying genes with a 29yo girlfriend...

[joebloggs]

true,..a perfect example is my friends grandfather 83 yo and still multiplying genes with a 29yo girlfriend...

, my problem will be getting to 83 and then trying to find a 29yr old

[sars_notd_virus]

, my problem will be getting to 83 and then trying to find a 29yr old

don't worry about it Joe, am sure your missus will find a solution to that

[kester]

i am still new to all this..............

,I found a filipina gf by accident( ie i was not looking for it) in cebu who is a lot younger than me she is 22 (with a 4yo daughter)and i am 51 , she wants children and soon and has even said that even if we broke up she would still want my child to remind her of me even if she never heard from or saw me again. Yes I am in love with her too and maybe its too good to be true but this summer coming (my third summer with her) she wants a child .....and yes I want a child and i want it with her but I have this perpetual nagging doubt that I am being unfair to her...

Paul

[grahamw48]

So are you planning to bring her and the child you father to the UK, or will you be living in the Phils with them ?

[kester]

I am undecided though she says prefers living in cebu but says it is the mans choice where we live and she would come to uk if it only way we can be together ....basically she seems determined that i make the choice .

[RickyR]

Mixed asian/white children always seem to be good looking, and i'm convinced my 6 month old son is the cutest baby I've ever seen (I would say that though). We had no issues, we both wanted kids, my missus is 34 and i'm 26. Now for the vasectomy.

[grahamw48]

Well I think you should consider the child that you may be bringing into the world first.

A lot can change in the future.

Ask yourself if you could be parted from that child, and would it finish up living in poverty and without a father.
Could you live with that ?

If it were me (and it has been), I would not contemplate under any circumstances bringing a child into this world in such shaky circumstances.

Call me old-fashioned, but I also think it's only doing the decent thing to marry, and to give your offspring your surname and right to a British passport.

If you've been living in the Phils you'll realise that there are quite enough single mothers and children in poverty already.

[joebloggs]

life is about taking risks, and many things you cant change in your life, but little joe came at the right time, a bright star in a dark sky , now i have another good reason to get home asap

[keithAngel]

Well I think you should consider the child that you may be bringing into the world first.

A lot can change in the future.

Ask yourself if you could be parted from that child, and would it finish up living in poverty and without a father.
Could you live with that ?

If it were me (and it has been), I would not contemplate under any circumstances bringing a child into this world in such shaky circumstances.

Call me old-fashioned, but I also think it's only doing the decent thing to marry, and to give your offspring your surname and right to a British passport.

If you've been living in the Phils you'll realise that there are quite enough single mothers and children in poverty already.

I think based on the information Graham you are right when you say your a little old fashioned

I dont know if Kesters g/f is already married or if he might rather live with her for a while longer and register a civil partnership,and seek settlement that way,or indeed if they will ever have a child.

Any issue will have the right to a UK passport as long as he is on the Birthcertificate and can as a British Subject call themselves by whatever name they choose.

Not everyone believes or needs the institution of marriage although it may make dealings with the authorities easier

[raynaputi]

i want a child..he doesn't (because of his health..though he already got 2 grown up kids)..but it's a matter of compromising..i love him and want to be with him no matter what..every relationship has sacrifices..maybe this would be mine i don't know if time would change his mind or my mind..but as long as we're together, that's what matters to me the most..

[FertileOne]

I apologise for appearing crass with the mention of age gap. I didn't mean to imply a Hugh Hefner-style age gap. And I didn't mean to imply that everyone on this forum was in such a relationship where the age gap was 10+ years apart. But yes, my topic was targeted at the members of the forum who are in such a relationship with a fairly large age difference.

No agenda, just personal curiosity.

Doc Alan, yes I'm well aware of the facts and figures, hence why I said I donated sperm. But I guess it's good to say, so the others are aware. Given those facts and figures, I think it's a worthwhile discussion, and considering the responses it's clear it's a good topic.

[FertileOne]

Well, you dont seem to be doing very well so far, and with assumptions like that I dont think you will win many more friends.

It's not an assumption when someone else said it already. (sorry to bring you in grahamw48, but I'm not a Respected Member yet, so my opinion doesn't count)

So are you paying child support then ? if not why not ?

More research needed