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  1. #211
    Respected Member andy222's Avatar
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    Mixed emotions then Rose. Lets just hope your brother makes some progress. He has more chance with his family supporting him. Keep your chin up. He has a great sister in you.


  2. #212
    Admin's Assistant ^_^ raynaputi's Avatar
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    Thanks for the updates Rosie

    I'm glad that your sister in law has the ILR now and can be indefinitely here in the UK. About your brother, I hope he would have some progress and be better as time passes. Keep being strong though as I know this is hard for you and your family. The forum is always here to support you.
    -=rayna.keith=-
    ...When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible...



  3. #213
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    Already your friends have begun to respond to your latest news Rosie - I just want to add my support ( as always ) and please stay positive.


  4. #214
    Respected Member imagine's Avatar
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    glad to hear your sister inlaw has her ILR now, at least no worries on that score, my prayers for your brother and to you for your strenght supporting your brother, hes blessed to have you


  5. #215
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andy222 View Post
    Mixed emotions then Rose. Lets just hope your brother makes some progress. He has more chance with his family supporting him. Keep your chin up. He has a great sister in you.
    http://www.filipinouk.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=870&dateline=1270312908


  6. #216
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    Hi Rosie, I'd like to join others with congratulations to your Sister-in-Law for receiving that all important ILR.
    It certainly takes away the often nagging concerns about future immigration status.

    As Andy says your latest update also brings mixed emotions about the progress of your brother.
    I do strongly agree that having all his family around always instils positives to all involved.

    Rosie, is there still a programme for your brother? or does the residential home leave him to his own devices?


  7. #217
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your very kind words Andy, Rayna, Imagine, Doc Alan, Joe and Terpe.

    I do feel at the moment that the situation appears quite hopeless because of the lack of external help/ support being received but please do rest assured that I will always be there to help my brother and will not give up hoping that one day he might improve further.

    Peter, in answer to your question, my brother currently doesn’t have a programme. Following a short spell at a brain rehab unit last year, he was quite traumatised and developed further behavioural problems so since last June, at the advice of the continuing care team, he has been left to re-adjust to life back at the nursing home. He now appears stable but is very quiet and withdrawn, spending most of his time in front of the television. He will not join in the activities undertaken by the home with the other residents who all have dementia and are mostly unable to speak.

    I will be discussing the possibility of further support for my brother shortly but clearly this needs to be taken very slowly so that the state of stability that has now been reached is not compromised.


  8. #218
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Thankyou for your latest update, Rosie ... rest assured, members' thoughts and prayers remain with you, your brother and his loved ones.

    Congratulations to your sister-in-law on obtaining her ILR. Undoubtedly this will help ease the pressure on you all to some extent.

    God Bless.


  9. #219
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    I have only just come across your story Rosie, and I understand what you have gone through and it has been rather stressful for you. I'm pleased you have a little good news reference your sister in laws ILR, also I sincerly hope the future becomes a little brighter for you. I always remember you were the first person to welcome me to the forum when I first joined and I want you to know i will never forget that!


  10. #220
    Respected Member marksroomspain's Avatar
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    Hiya Rosie I have just come across this thread and could not stop reading the entire 8 pages.

    Could I just say I cannot imagine what you have all been through over these past couple of years but just want to say what a true inspiration you are to others especially in regards to other folks problems which seem insignificant compared to yours.

    I just want to wish you all the best and in gods will your brother one day will get better...


  11. #221
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Parnham View Post
    I have only just come across your story Rosie, and I understand what you have gone through and it has been rather stressful for you. I'm pleased you have a little good news reference your sister in laws ILR, also I sincerly hope the future becomes a little brighter for you. I always remember you were the first person to welcome me to the forum when I first joined and I want you to know i will never forget that!
    Thank you so much Michael for your kind words. I am also pleased to learn that I was the first to welcome you and that you have continued to frequent the site and are now a Respected Member


  12. #222
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marksroomspain View Post
    Hiya Rosie I have just come across this thread and could not stop reading the entire 8 pages.

    Could I just say I cannot imagine what you have all been through over these past couple of years but just want to say what a true inspiration you are to others especially in regards to other folks problems which seem insignificant compared to yours.

    I just want to wish you all the best and in gods will your brother one day will get better...
    Such kind words are very much appreciated Mark I have to admit that I do occasionally re-read the thread too as it helps to remember where we were in Sept 2010 and despite the lack of further progress recently, where we are today. My brother clearly would not have survived in Philippines and I will always be very grateful to my sister-in-law for her help whilst she was there in very difficult circumstances and for the opportunity to bring him back here to the UK


  13. #223
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    Thankyou for your latest update, Rosie ... rest assured, members' thoughts and prayers remain with you, your brother and his loved ones.

    Congratulations to your sister-in-law on obtaining her ILR. Undoubtedly this will help ease the pressure on you all to some extent.

    God Bless.
    Arthur, you are such a sweetie, thank you and god bless you too


  14. #224
    Trusted Member grahamw48's Avatar
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    May I also add my congratulations to your sister-in-law Rosie. At least your brother's wife and child should now have a secure future here. That's what he would want of course.

    Hopefully your brother will show further improvement with time.

    Everyone should be blessed with a sister like you.


  15. #225
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Thank you too Graham, I appreciate your very kind comments. My sister-in-law is a bright girl and I was delighted to be able to find her a job here in the UK quite quickly. My 8 year old nephew has already chosen his secondary school and wants to go to Cambridge University, bless him! Both have opportunities that wouldn't be available to them in the Province but it has come at a heavy personal cost and my sister-in-law still misses her family in Philippines very much. I will look after them


  16. #226
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Itís now been three years since my brother was first taken ill whilst on business in Philippines. He lives a meagre and lonely existence in a nursing home in UK, a far cry from the life of luxury he was used to in Malaysia and before that Philippines. The repair to his brain damage has been very slow, he occasionally comes out with the odd surprise involving long and short term memory. He has faecal incontinence which causes all sorts of behavioural problems, is very withdrawn and his main visitor is me. Understandably, his partner and son donít visit as much now.

    I try to remain optimistic about the future but itís so hard since the situation appears quite hopeless. I wish that there was someone somewhere that could teach him to co-operate and help him. I am in regular contact with his eldest son in Philippines. He misses his dad so much ÖÖÖ I miss my only brother more than words can say. I am just grateful he is still alive.


  17. #227
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    Thanks for the update Rosie.
    That 3 years has certainly flown past.
    If I'm honest, I had real optimism that a better recovery would be made.

    I felt sadness to read this latest update. I'm not sure if I would have the same strength as you. You continue to amaze me.


  18. #228
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    be strong Rosie,


  19. #229
    Admin's Assistant ^_^ raynaputi's Avatar
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    I can only wish you, your brother, and the entire family all the best Rosie. The forum is just here to support you, as always.
    -=rayna.keith=-
    ...When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible...



  20. #230
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear how difficult it is for you right now, please remain strong Rosie and at least you have the satisfaction that you are giving your brother your full support physically and mentally. I sense that you have a very strong and loving bond with your brother, hang in there Rosie because every member who has followed this thread is giving you their full support and I wish that things improve for you in the future!


  21. #231
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    It truly has been a long haul, with positive news only to be followed by setbacks. I’m sure you know very well that you have the support of all members here – over 50,000 views and well over 200 replies will be some consolation that you and your brother are not forgotten.


    Your latest post is poignant, and you do find the right words to convey your feelings. It is hard for many people to express their thoughts in such circumstances. I believe all members reading this thread truly sympathise with your situation. You are coping better than others might do, thanks to your character, and supportive loved ones like your son and partner.


    I’m sure part of the problem here is understanding your brother’s condition, let alone wondering why such a rare illness should have affected him. There are many causes for encephalitis ( inflammation of the brain ) but for most patients the cause is unknown. Indeed even with extensive tests, the proportion of cases with unknown cause is higher than any one identified cause. Because it’s rare, there are few good quality studies around the world. The particular type of encephalitis diagnosed in your brother’s case ( Acute Demyelinating Encephalomyelitis or ADEM, where there are immune abnormalities triggered by a number of viruses ) probably accounts for about a fifth of patients. More viruses keep being discovered which might cause ADEM.


    As you say, you are grateful that your brother is still alive. Please be comforted with the thought that this very serious illness was diagnosed as early as possible with appropriate treatment – even if imperfect – meaning that you should stay optimistic about his future. You have our continuing support .


  22. #232
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your very kind words, Terpe, Rayna, Stevewool, Michael and Doc Alan, they are very much appreciated. I will remain strong for my brother but it really is wonderful to feel the additional support out there.

    I feel that I could write a book on my life experiences which have been many but one of the worst has been what's happened to my very much loved brother. Perhaps I will save that one for my retirement ......... it will probably take me 20 years to write it and if I do, I will be sure to mention the help and marvellous support that I have received from this forum!

    God bless you all


  23. #233
    Respected Member marksroomspain's Avatar
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    In our thoughts and prayers Rosie god willing there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Mark & Jamie.xx


  24. #234
    Respected Member andy222's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raynaputi View Post
    I can only wish you, your brother, and the entire family all the best Rosie. The forum is just here to support you, as always.
    I cant say anymore than that Rosie. We take life for granted its at times like this that should be a lesson for us all. Keep strong.


  25. #235
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Thank you so much Mark & Jamie and also to Andy22 for your very kind words, I really appreciate them.

    Rosie


  26. #236
    Trusted Member grahamw48's Avatar
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    You've been a real rock for your brother Rosie.

    You deserve every compliment and kind word received, plus more.

    All the best to you both.


  27. #237
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    You've been a real rock for your brother Rosie.

    You deserve every compliment and kind word received, plus more.

    All the best to you both.
    Such kind words ......... thank you too, Graham!


  28. #238
    Respected Member Gie's Avatar
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    I am thinking of you at this difficult time and hoping that whatever it is, his family will be reunited here in the UK always be strong
    "Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same."


  29. #239
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gie View Post
    I am thinking of you at this difficult time and hoping that whatever it is, his family will be reunited here in the UK always be strong
    Gie, I'm so sorry that I didn't respond to your very kind post, thank you so much for your thoughts

    It’s my brother’s birthday next week. I’m taking the day off work to take him out for lunch and to spend some quality time with him. I’m the only one who now visits him at the nursing home. There is very little change, although he does occasionally come out with a little gem, remembering something tucked away in the past. I was very touched last weekend to hear him softly singing away to a track by the Stylists, he remembered quite a lot of the words, bless him.

    After nearly 4 years since becoming seriously ill in the Philippines and being repatriate back to UK, his partner has (understandably) now moved on and no longer visits. He has three sons in Philippines who are desperate to visit him but can’t, and one in this country who no longer visits.

    The moral of this story ………. PLEASE don’t cut yourself off from your family, you never know when you might need them and they might be all you have left if things go horribly wrong


  30. #240
    Respected Member marksroomspain's Avatar
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    Rosie I remember this very well and always think back to the story of it all.

    I salute you and a very happy birthday to him.

    Take care and enjoy......


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