Sad news about Jennifer and Michael

[mickcant]

Hello alll,
I am very sad to say that Jennifer my wife who came to the UK only two weeks ago today on the 29th September decided yesterday that she wanted to go home.
I tried my best to help her with her home sickness, she said she felt guilty leaving her younger siblings with her father who also has another family with anouther woman for many years, with children the same age as Jennifer.

She is now at Heathrow Airport, for a flight at 10.30 am.
Older members may remember we had some problems after we married on 8th April 2008 and Jennifer then dissapeared going i found out to Manila from their home in Cagayan De Oro City.

I of course still love Jennifer very much and am very sad she has left, I felt I had no option than to pay her travel cost home even though I did not want her to go.
Thank you everone.
Mick.

[kimmi]

oh Mick, sorry to hear about what happened..I am really lost for words now..

Ur love for her is really unconditional, but she's still coming back here in the UK right?

[mickcant]

oh Mick, sorry to hear about what happened..I am really lost for words now..

Ur love for her is really unconditional, but she's still coming back here in the UK right?

Hi Kimmi, no as far as I know she will not be coming back to the UK.

She has siblings that she says she cannot trust her father to look after they were born without back passages if you get what I mean, I had allready paid £3000.00 towards the cost and her father was going to pay the rest.

I did offer for us to pay the rest of the cost insted of relying on her father, but she said she still needed to go home.
I do not know wat to do at the moment.
Mick.

[ViesVies]

Hi Kimmi, no as far as I know she will not be coming back to the UK.

She has siblings that she says she cannot trust her father to look after they were born without back passages if you get what I mean, I had allready paid £3000.00 towards the cost and her father was going to pay the rest.

I did offer for us to pay the rest of the cost insted of relying on her father, but she said she still needed to go home.
I do not know wat to do at the moment.
Mick.

Im sorry to read your sad news. Always keep in contact with her because no one knows what the future holds for you both

viesvies

[ginapeterb]

And when the honeymoon is over "!

Hello Mick,

I truly am very sorry to hear of your wife's flight back from Heathrow this morning, I suppose you went to see her off, and are still there, as the flight is going shortly, it must be heartbreaking for you, to have to go through this at such a harrowing moment in your life.

Needless to say, I would want you to know you are not alone in this right now, your friends at this forum are with you, sadly, we know from past experiences, these things do happen from time to time.

Some Filipina's just cannot settle in the UK, no matter how much the support and love from the husband, I remember a couple of years ago, how there was a similar story, and of course many of us might remember, when poor David, lost his wife Jasmine, who died in hospital shortly after child birth.

I remember when David was going through his visa situation, having spoken to him many times on mobile phone, only to find Jasmine safely arrived in UK, and then shortly after, less than a year, the poor guy lost his wife in hospital.

These stories stick in ones mind, and of course your story today will no doubt stick in all our minds, of just how hit and miss the whole matter is, don't always assume in the future, that when this road you travel down, ends up in happiness and a happy love story, if this proves anything, it proves that not is all as it seems for everyone, there are trials and tribulations to go through, getting a positive visa decision and jumping for joy does not always lead to a happy conclusion to what I call the "Philippines project".

I can only say at this time, I am feeling your sorrow and heartache, Jennifer obviously could not settle in the UK, in truth, life here can be dull at times, for Filipina's who are used to the hustle and bustle of cities such as Cagayan de Oro, in this case Jennifer's home town, our quite rural towns and villages can be sometimes depressing.

I am sure now she has boarded, she will be deep in thought about what has happened, the fact that you have paid her flight home, goes to show what sort of man you are, a complete gentleman it seems to me.

And I think your actions in this matter have spoken louder than any words, I am sure many others on this forum would note your gentlemanly behavior in this matter, and hope you stay with us on this forum, I think now Mick its a time to reflect on your situation, perhaps take some time over next few days to see where life will take you, no doubt you are devastated, but I think time itself will be a great healer, in due course, I am sure you will pick up your life again, and in this I wish you very well.

[marlyn&kenny]

Hello alll,
I am very sad to say that Jennifer my wife who came to the UK only two weeks ago today on the 29th September decided yesterday that she wanted to go home.
I tried my best to help her with her home sickness, she said she felt guilty leaving her younger siblings with her father who also has another family with anouther woman for many years, with children the same age as Jennifer.

She is now at Heathrow Airport, for a flight at 10.30 am.
Older members may remember we had some problems after we married on 8th April 2008 and Jennifer then dissapeared going i found out to Manila from their home in Cagayan De Oro City.

I of course still love Jennifer very much and am very sad she has left, I felt I had no option than to pay her travel cost home even though I did not want her to go.
Thank you everone.
Mick.

We are very sorry to hear that Jennifer decided to leave you.... Just keep your faith unto the Lord that soon Jennifer will realize how much u love her.

We also pray that you will soon mend whatever trials you have right now, I believe in Love, if there's love between two people; "no matter what happens they will overcome all trials that come their way and hold on to each other because there is love!"

With prayers,

[maria_and_matt]

i am so sorry to hear that mick..

[mickcant]

And when the honeymoon is over "!

Hello Mick,

I truly am very sorry to hear of your wife's flight back from Heathrow this morning, I suppose you went to see her off, and are still there, as the flight is going shortly, it must be heartbreaking for you, to have to go through this at such a harrowing moment in your life.

Needless to say, I would want you to know you are not alone in this right now, your friends at this forum are with you, sadly, we know from past experiences, these things do happen from time to time.

Some Filipina's just cannot settle in the UK, no matter how much the support and love from the husband, I remember a couple of years ago, how there was a similar story, and of course many of us might remember, when poor David, lost his wife Jasmine, who died in hospital shortly after child birth.

I remember when David was going through his visa situation, having spoken to him many times on mobile phone, only to find Jasmine safely arrived in UK, and then shortly after, less than a year, the poor guy lost his wife in hospital.

These stories stick in ones mind, and of course your story today will no doubt stick in all our minds, of just how hit and miss the whole matter is, don't always assume in the future, that when this road you travel down, ends up in happiness and a happy love story, if this proves anything, it proves that not is all as it seems for everyone, there are trials and tribulations to go through, getting a positive visa decision and jumping for joy does not always lead to a happy conclusion to what I call the "Philippines project".

I can only say at this time, I am feeling your sorrow and heartache, Jennifer obviously could not settle in the UK, in truth, life here can be dull at times, for Filipina's who are used to the hustle and bustle of cities such as Cagayan de Oro, in this case Jennifer's home town, our quite rural towns and villages can be sometimes depressing.

I am sure now she has boarded, she will be deep in thought about what has happened, the fact that you have paid her flight home, goes to show what sort of man you are, a complete gentleman it seems to me.

And I think your actions in this matter have spoken louder than any words, I am sure many others on this forum would note your gentlemanly behavior in this matter, and hope you stay with us on this forum, I think now Mick its a time to reflect on your situation, perhaps take some time over next few days to see where life will take you, no doubt you are devastated, but I think time itself will be a great healer, in due course, I am sure you will pick up your life again, and in this I wish you very well.

Thank you Pete,
I took Jennifer to Southampton from our home on the Isle of Wight last night and put her in an Airport transfere taxi to Heathrow, for her flight home. I have an elderly dog I cannot just go off and leave alone.,
I am heart broken and will need time to heal from this, as a much older man than my wife I know many will think I was foolish hoping for love and happiness.
I do of course hope she finds what she wants in life.
Mick.

[Alan]

I echo Peter's sentiments entirely.

I'm sure that most of us have stories to tell.

For myself I remember the day I arrived back from Scotland to find that my ex had left our home, taking our 2 children with her. I had done nothing wrong - it was she who had decided 'shack up' with another man, yet I lost my children!!!!!
The feeling I had was beyond pain.

I feel for you Mick, as I'm sure we all do.

Remember though, you have a family on here - we care.

Onwards and upwards eh?

Al.

[marlyn&kenny]

Hi Kimmi, no as far as I know she will not be coming back to the UK.

She has siblings that she says she cannot trust her father to look after they were born without back passages if you get what I mean, I had allready paid £3000.00 towards the cost and her father was going to pay the rest.

I did offer for us to pay the rest of the cost insted of relying on her father, but she said she still needed to go home.
I do not know wat to do at the moment.
Mick.

Mick, Be strong ! You are a real gentleman like my hubby, We can almost feel how much you are hurting now.But God is so good! Life is still beautiful be firm and try to keep in touch with her....

Im sure you got close friends, try to talk to them, or just stay here in this forum say whats in your heart,in your mind, it may lessen the pain you are feeling right now.

We are here to listen to you, try to comfort you. God bless!

[eleazebonares]

i admire the love you have for her sir.

[eleazebonares]

i admire the love you have for her sir. its not the end.

[D&G]

oh dear what a sad news, Mick reading your post really saddened me...

[whiteraven]

hi mick,im so sorry things didnt turn out as you wished or deserved. this is the second time i have had to go through the spousal visa process,my late wife being an american. it takes a long time to get through things like this, i myself was in a dark place mentally for at least six months. what helped me in the end was getting to know new friends and finding a new purpose in life. it will take time and although it may seem hopeless at the moment but things will get better. i hope you keep in touch with your wife and dont bear her any grudge as it seems she has need of support herself. best of luck in the future and stay with us here.

[Sophie]

Hello alll,
I am very sad to say that Jennifer my wife who came to the UK only two weeks ago today on the 29th September decided yesterday that she wanted to go home.
I tried my best to help her with her home sickness, she said she felt guilty leaving her younger siblings with her father who also has another family with anouther woman for many years, with children the same age as Jennifer.

She is now at Heathrow Airport, for a flight at 10.30 am.
Older members may remember we had some problems after we married on 8th April 2008 and Jennifer then dissapeared going i found out to Manila from their home in Cagayan De Oro City.

I of course still love Jennifer very much and am very sad she has left, I felt I had no option than to pay her travel cost home even though I did not want her to go.
Thank you everone.
Mick.

Hi mick, i'm so sorry to hear about your wife leaving back to the philippines....
I admire you for being strong and so understanding and supportive to your wife despite the fact that you're hurting inside and in great sadness.....
It just shows how good you are as a person and as a husband and how big and unconditional your love is for your wife.....i hope she realizes that.....
How old are her younger sibblings by the way mick, if you don't mind my asking?

[Tawi2]

I just read your story from the early days through till now,its not your fault mick,be lucky.

[mickcant]

Hi mick, i'm so sorry to hear about your wife leaving back to the philippines....
I admire you for being strong and so understanding and supportive to your wife despite the fact that you're hurting inside and in great sadness.....
It just shows how good you are as a person and as a husband and how big and unconditional your love is for your wife.....i hope she realizes that.....
How old are her younger sibblings by the way mick, if you don't mind my asking?

Hi Sophie, her only brother john mark is 8 and the youngest sister is 11.
She did not live with her family until her mother died then went home to look after the younger siblings as she knew her father would not.
Mick.

[triple5]

Sorry to hear about that, Mick. From reading other posts of yours you seem like a real gent, and you deserve a little better than that. She knew the score with her family before she came to the UK, and 2 weeks isn't really long enough to give things a chance. Anyway, hope it works out somehow for you. Best of luck.

[jane2009]

Hello alll,
I am very sad to say that Jennifer my wife who came to the UK only two weeks ago today on the 29th September decided yesterday that she wanted to go home.
I tried my best to help her with her home sickness, she said she felt guilty leaving her younger siblings with her father who also has another family with anouther woman for many years, with children the same age as Jennifer.

She is now at Heathrow Airport, for a flight at 10.30 am.
Older members may remember we had some problems after we married on 8th April 2008 and Jennifer then dissapeared going i found out to Manila from their home in Cagayan De Oro City.

I of course still love Jennifer very much and am very sad she has left, I felt I had no option than to pay her travel cost home even though I did not want her to go.
Thank you everone.
Mick.

Hello Mick,
Im sorry to hear about what happen..you know i kept sending a message to you but i cant send it..i dont know why..im thinking to speak you wife..just pray that everything will be fine..

[GaryFifer]

I don't care about her siblings. Strong words right? But this is your partnership right. It is always messed up with extended family problems. Noone cared about your feelings. I am sure you are feeling a mixture of anger and betrayal at the same time. Difficult emotions.

She married you. You are more important. She knew that when she said those words. Or perhaps they were meaningless to her. I am disappointed. I thought Filipinos were Christian, god fearing and true to their word.
She should put you first.That's her duty as a wife. Get her back over here. You should not have let her get her own way. It was immature of her,and she put herself first. It shows she does not care of your feelings.

She obviously does not trust the man to take care of the kids. So she runs to her siblings side, to shield them from this nasty man bad influence. Is he really that bad Mick?

Is a Filipino man seen as so stupid he cannot bring a child up? I challenge the Filipinos here to explain this one. Are men looked on as no good with kids? Educate him then, don't take over his duty.

[jaishann]

Hello alll,
I am very sad to say that Jennifer my wife who came to the UK only two weeks ago today on the 29th September decided yesterday that she wanted to go home.
I tried my best to help her with her home sickness, she said she felt guilty leaving her younger siblings with her father who also has another family with anouther woman for many years, with children the same age as Jennifer.

She is now at Heathrow Airport, for a flight at 10.30 am.
Older members may remember we had some problems after we married on 8th April 2008 and Jennifer then dissapeared going i found out to Manila from their home in Cagayan De Oro City.

I of course still love Jennifer very much and am very sad she has left, I felt I had no option than to pay her travel cost home even though I did not want her to go.
Thank you everone.
Mick.

sorry to hear that mick.

[Sophie]

Hi Sophie, her only brother john mark is 8 and the youngest sister is 11.
She did not live with her family until her mother died then went home to look after the younger siblings as she knew her father would not.
Mick.

Primarily, my personal view is that you and your marriage should be her top priority now, as you are her family now.....
And her family back home is suppose to be the second priority this time................ideally, that's how it should be....
And for a moment, i felt she was a bit inconsiderate of your feelings and all your efforts, not to mention all the money it cost you for everything......
It's like she let everything down the drain when she decided to leave in just 2 weeks of being here, after such a long wait and much anticipation of her arrival....

But on the otherhand, i also understand how concerned she is of the welfare of her 2 younger sibblings in the hands of their father and stepmother....
I take it she must be carrying the burden of responsibility for her sibblings, with her mother gone and her father having a new family already...
I don't know how bad the situation is, but if she is bothered that much, then probably the situation of her sibblings back home is really bad.....
My only question is how bad is it? Is it bad enough for her to put your marriage on hold and leave it hanging????.....

I really feel for you mick and i feel for your wife too.....I can imagine how tough it must be for both of you and this is a hard situation to go through.....
May you both be able to work this situation out, so your marriage don't suffer much as well as her younger sibblings....
And i really hope you can both sort this out without sacrificing one over the other and vice versa......

[James Hubbard]

I don't care about her siblings. Strong words right? But this is your partnership right. It is always messed up with extended family problems. Noone cared about your feelings. I am sure you are feeling a mixture of anger and betrayal at the same time. Difficult emotions.

She married you. You are more important. She knew that when she said those words. Or perhaps they were meaningless to her. I am disappointed. I thought Filipinos were Christian, god fearing and true to their word.
She should put you first.That's her duty as a wife. Get her back over here. You should not have let her get her own way. It was immature of her,and she put herself first. It shows she does not care of your feelings.

I agree!

When she gets married to you she sacrifices her right to do things like this and to take advantage of your good gentlemanly nature.

I can't help but think that you got the short end of the stick that you didn't deserve.

Marriage calls for maturity and sacrifice. You sacrificed. Thousands of pounds, not to mention your blood sweat and tears, just to be slapped in the face with this kind of immature non-sacrificing, selfish, short termed myopia?

:HeadButter:

I was delighted when I saw the picture you had put on here a cpl weeks back with her walking thru the terminal. I thought, hopefully, soon that will be my wife, but I got so when I read what you had put here.

Heed what triple5 and Gary2J says.

My 2 centavos

Jim Hub

[GaryFifer]

Mick, I guess she wants to jump in as a woman and take her mothers place but I suspect there is a problem between her and her father. Nothing to do with your marriage MICK. Did you have an idea of that? These issues must be put aside for the sake of the children. Perhaps he is not perfect, but he still their father. Everyone should be united in the death of their mother, and work together to build a stable family for the children. Perhaps they can live with their new mommy. I am sure that would cause many problems, but ultimately the kids would adjust.
Ask the kids what they want.Don't forget their opinion. After the dust settles, lets hope you get back on track. Keep your hopes up. This will make your marriage stronger with communication about difficult issues.

[Mrs Daddy]

Oh dear I don`t know what to say but am sorry mick...

[JimOttley]

Really sorry to hear this Mick, very sad for both of you.

When my partner was here in Nov 2007 she lasted a week before the homesickness set in and she was begging me to let her go back, she was only here for a 2 month holiday but it was understandable as our son could not join us at that time. I have watched the pain that my partner was clearly in at that time and I can only imagine that you wife would have been experiencing similar emotions.

In our case Ana went home 2 weeks early and I was very hurt at the time as we had nice things planned that were one off experiences in our lives and were all cast aside.

Ana and I are still together and have two kids now not just the one and yet again she suffered the same homesickness when she had to go to Korea earlier this year even though it was her desire and plan, it really can just be so hard for a Filipina to be separated from her family and familiar surroundings.

So sorry for you both.


Jim

[LEAHnew]

Sorry to hear your story Mick I know how you feel

It's really hard to let go of someone you love because of many complications around..well all we need to do just to be strong and move on...life goes on

[Bluebirdjones]

As much as I’m sad to hear of the demise of this relationship (and let’s be honest, it’s over, it’s dead, it’s finished…. there is no way back for either party), it also highlights the fact(s) many have alluded to on this site….
… namely ….
The greater the age difference, the greater the difficulties in adapting to each others’ needs and desires
The greater the baggage…. the greater the chances of an unsuccessful relationship.

These are facts, not thoughts or theories …. FACTS.

It’s difficult enough conducting a long-distance relationship, let alone with these factors also involved.
The fact that you cannot meet/see each other on a regular basis for lunch, dinner, the cinema, the pub, walks, etc etc means that one has to rely on cams & messenger chats….. not ideal.
The 1 – 2 visits (in most cases) to the Philippines cannot present the full picture…. merely a snapshot.
And many feel that once they have met in the “flesh”, in person, they then feel obliged to move forward to the inevitable conclusion.

So make it easier for yourself ! Just because the potential bride / bridegroom “scrubs up” well, and has a pleasing personality on messenger, it is not the be-all and end-all.
Be more selective in the first instance on who you talk to, strike up a relationship with….. be aware of each other’s lives / traits/ “baggage”…… be aware of the problems that are likely (and will) to occur.
And be honest with each other, and more importantly yourself, and be prepared to say ….”I’m sorry, this in not what I want”.

Then, and only then, will the chances of both parties living together in a happy, long-term relationship be fulfilled.

Once again…. Mick, sorry to hear of the situation you find yourself in.

[Leo]

Hi Mick my thougths are with you at this time all you can do is hope and pray all of this can be worked out time is a great healer god bless you Mick

[monkeyface]

I am very sorry to hear about your story.
You were very brave to do what you've done. Once again, you have proven her how much you truly love her and I admire you for that.
Time heal all wounds.. Be strong.
Take care.