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  1. #1
    Respected Member aphrodite78's Avatar
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    Unhappy Worried about getting my kids

    Hi,
    I am new here and I don't know where to begin really. I got a VeRY complicated situation. I already got an ILR in view of Domestic Violence. I am just glad that when I first came here as a spouse I didn't brought my kids from my previous marriage as I had a traumatic experience with my ex pedophile husband.

    Now that I am living my life and am about to get married again, my fiance and I have decided to get my kids from my previous annulled marriage with my Filipino husband. That time I got a lot on so when I filed for my annulment the child custody was not mentioned and was not even discussed.

    My question is do I have to file for child custody before I could file for their application for settlement visa? My filipino ex-husband has not been in contact with me nor with my kids for nearly 7 years now. When I filed for annulment, he didn't even showed himself in fear of being prosecuted as he has been already married before he married me. Please I am so desperate to get my kids. I just don't know what to do. I have contacted a solicitor in the Philippines and because they know I am living in UK they are charging me a huge sum of money for child custody. I am not made of money and I got 2 young kids here as well who is looking forward in having their brother and sister here. Is there anyone from this site who got the same situation? COuld anyone PLEASE help and guide me with my kids applications?

    Many thanks in advance.


  2. #2
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    How old your kid(s) in pinas?
    When you applied before going to UK, did you mention your kids in your application??


  3. #3
    Respected Member bornatbirth's Avatar
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    dont worry,you will get some good advice here!
    i have learnt to do what my wife says!


  4. #4
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    You dont need to file for child custody, what you need to do is to prove to ECO that you had the sole custody to your kids, how you gonna show to them that "sole custody"? Are you been in contact since you lived here? Prove it, chats etc.. sole responsibility? Bills or receipt that you pay thier tuition, thier needs, did you keep the receipt that your sending money to them in able to show you had in contact and sole responsibilty,

    who take care of them while your here?


  5. #5
    Respected Member aphrodite78's Avatar
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    worried about getting my kids

    hi,

    good morning to everyone. thanks so much for the responses. my kids are 9 and 7, my mum is looking after them. i have been sending money to my mum for my kids, got receipts as well from their tutors etc etc. my mum had cancer and she is now in remission and hopefully she will be in that stage for good. I declared my kids during my first application but didn't went ahead in getting them as we we're struggling when we first lodged in the application. i am so worried about filing an application and all your guidances and advice are truly and highly appreciated.


  6. #6
    Respected Member aphrodite78's Avatar
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    i have been calling them twice a week as well, sending them cards, letters, pictures, been visiting them once a year and if i could i would visit them 3x a year (but it's difficult especially when you got 2 y.o. and 5 mos old kids)


  7. #7
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    Wow, that would be a good evidence of sole custody, and make sure when you make cover letter, put all your reasoning, declaring them in your first application was really good, dont worry much, just show to the ECO that you can support 4 kids, hmmm by this stage having ILR you can able to get some publc funds now, you can start preparing now and dont hesitate to ask here in the forum all your querry,

    Joe(moderator) will be happy to support you (joke) where is Joe now


  8. #8
    Respected Member aphrodite78's Avatar
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    tHank you so much for your reply. kinda felt relieved as it costs a lot of money for child custody specially when they clocked your surname as foreign sounding. i am now collecting all the documents and hopefully i would be able to provide almost all the docs required. have a nice day everyone and will be posting questions if i am so unsure. thanks everyone.


  9. #9
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    Your welcome Good luck


  10. #10
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    as what mrsJmajor said you have good evidence that you are sole responsible for your kids.
    i can't see any problem with that. tell your mum to make a letter also, stating that she's responsible for taking care of your children but it's you who make big decisions for them and she'll be happy that you'll be reunited as one happy family.
    goodluck!


  11. #11
    Respected Member IainBusby's Avatar
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    You want to stay away from attorneys. Once they know your living in the UK their eyes start to roll with £ signs like a fruit machine. If your husband has no contact with them and has not had contact with them for so long the you obviously have sole responsibility for them and the visa application form only asks if you have sole responsibility for them.

    The main problem you will have is that of proving that there is no one else who can care for them in Phils because they have been living there without you for so long, but if you can get an official letter from a doctor stating that your mother is no longer capable of looking after them due to her illness, I think this might help somewhat.
    Iain.


  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by IainBusby View Post
    if you can get an official letter from a doctor stating that your mother is no longer capable of looking after them due to her illness, I think this might help somewhat.
    Iain.
    You can use this one also Aphrodite


  13. #13
    Respected Member aphrodite78's Avatar
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    thanks so much i'll take note of that. in the mean time i am getting on with my life in the uk test. i'm due to take it this coming 8th of july. i've been browsing your comments about it and i think i'll take this now so i can now and after passing it (hopefully) i can now just concentrate in getting my kids. thanks again and i will keep you all posted and will post my step by step process so it can be used as a reference.


  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite78 View Post
    Hi,
    I am new here and I don't know where to begin really. I got a VeRY complicated situation. I already got an ILR in view of Domestic Violence. I am just glad that when I first came here as a spouse I didn't brought my kids from my previous marriage as I had a traumatic experience with my ex pedophile husband.

    Now that I am living my life and am about to get married again, my fiance and I have decided to get my kids from my previous annulled marriage with my Filipino husband. That time I got a lot on so when I filed for my annulment the child custody was not mentioned and was not even discussed.

    My question is do I have to file for child custody before I could file for their application for settlement visa? My filipino ex-husband has not been in contact with me nor with my kids for nearly 7 years now. When I filed for annulment, he didn't even showed himself in fear of being prosecuted as he has been already married before he married me. Please I am so desperate to get my kids. I just don't know what to do. I have contacted a solicitor in the Philippines and because they know I am living in UK they are charging me a huge sum of money for child custody. I am not made of money and I got 2 young kids here as well who is looking forward in having their brother and sister here. Is there anyone from this site who got the same situation? COuld anyone PLEASE help and guide me with my kids applications?

    Many thanks in advance.
    If he is married before when he married you, then you marriage is null and void from the beginning. You don't need to annul your marriage with him. It will only take 6 months to finish that case at court and no need for hearings. If you have child as you mentioned, you have big chance for child custody as he was on bigamy. Ask DSWD regarding your situation. I'm sure they can help giving you advises about your child custody.
    Only the original wife can sue him bigamy not the second wife.

    Good luck! You can do it!


  15. #15
    Respected Member aphrodite78's Avatar
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    thanks penny. i am now looking into dswd. i spoke to them earlier but i have to ring them again because i was in discussion with them regarding my kids' clearance if they need one if they are travelling with me to dubai. as regards to my previous marriage i also thought that since my ex was already married when we got married it will be just declaring it and voila but no they didn't agree with me. i have to go thru a painful and agonizing 11 mos and lots of dosh to get it anulled (although they didn't explained why). nevertheless got my marriage anulled ages ago. but like what i asked in the forum "am i right to say that children from bigamous marriage are illegitimate?" and a lot said that it is. now i have to ask them or some of you do i still have to apply for child custody just to avoid the hassle of being questioned about sole custody. many thanks again


  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite78 View Post
    thanks penny. i am now looking into dswd. i spoke to them earlier but i have to ring them again because i was in discussion with them regarding my kids' clearance if they need one if they are travelling with me to dubai. as regards to my previous marriage i also thought that since my ex was already married when we got married it will be just declaring it and voila but no they didn't agree with me. i have to go thru a painful and agonizing 11 mos and lots of dosh to get it anulled (although they didn't explained why). nevertheless got my marriage anulled ages ago. but like what i asked in the forum "am i right to say that children from bigamous marriage are illegitimate?" and a lot said that it is. now i have to ask them or some of you do i still have to apply for child custody just to avoid the hassle of being questioned about sole custody. many thanks again
    11 months was too long. Some lawyers are only after money. They just need to file a case and publish in newspapers about your marriage with him. It was null and void from the beginning. It cost around 10,000 pesos if you filed thru PAO or Public Atty's Office. But that was it! You still lucky your marriage litigation was over.
    About your child, I am not sure if you registered him/her with his surname.
    If some children are illigitimate, and their father accepted them and signed during their registration, they called it LEGITIMATED. Please ask your lawyer about this things. There are lawyers in Pinas that specialized in Family Code of The Philippines.
    Whe you married your British husband, did you declare at embassy that you have child previously?

    Goodluck and be determined to win your child custody. You can make it.


  17. #17
    Respected Member aphrodite78's Avatar
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    hi penny thanks for your reply. yup i have declared them when i first applied for my settlement visa and declared them again on my application for ilr. when i gave birth to my first child we were not married yet at that time but he accepted and signed his name on his birth cert, my second child was different as his situation already came to light (it was a tough time as i was about to give birth) and i put father unknown or not applicable on her birth cert. the first 2 lawyers who handled my case was really after the money and all my hard earned cash while i was still in the phils went to the case. i kept on asking my self at that time do i really need to go through this process because no one explained it to me but nevermind it went smoothly and it was over and done with. i have inquired 3 weeks ago regarding child custody to a lawyers firm in ortigas (they got a website) and they are charging me 75K each child + expenses (etc etc) and they even threatened me that my application at the british embassy will be turned down if i applied for their settlement visa and i didn't have the child custody hence i have sought advice and opinion at this wonderful site. i do hope i need not to apply for child custody as it's a lot of money specially at this present recession period we need to save the money plus i've got a wedding to sort out as well so every penny are all accounted for now. thanks again and hope you have a lovely day.


  18. #18
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    Shock, you spend so much money, lucky for you, you find this forum, certainly very helpful so you dont need anything as long as you are the mother of the kids, but make sure you will get them CFO sticker for thier passport


  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite78 View Post
    hi penny thanks for your reply. yup i have declared them when i first applied for my settlement visa and declared them again on my application for ilr. when i gave birth to my first child we were not married yet at that time but he accepted and signed his name on his birth cert, my second child was different as his situation already came to light (it was a tough time as i was about to give birth) and i put father unknown or not applicable on her birth cert. the first 2 lawyers who handled my case was really after the money and all my hard earned cash while i was still in the phils went to the case. i kept on asking my self at that time do i really need to go through this process because no one explained it to me but nevermind it went smoothly and it was over and done with. i have inquired 3 weeks ago regarding child custody to a lawyers firm in ortigas (they got a website) and they are charging me 75K each child + expenses (etc etc) and they even threatened me that my application at the british embassy will be turned down if i applied for their settlement visa and i didn't have the child custody hence i have sought advice and opinion at this wonderful site. i do hope i need not to apply for child custody as it's a lot of money specially at this present recession period we need to save the money plus i've got a wedding to sort out as well so every penny are all accounted for now. thanks again and hope you have a lovely day.
    you wouldn't need for child custody. British Embassy are very understanding with this (that's what I believe bec. they granted my visa for my son without any hassle)... as many people nowadays are single parents and this case is not new to them i'm sure. the only thing you need to prove is that your mother is just responsible in taking care of them. and submit loads of evidence that you are sending money and communicating with them regularly.
    as for travel clearance you wouldn't need it as well.

    goodluck!!!


  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite78 View Post
    hi penny thanks for your reply. yup i have declared them when i first applied for my settlement visa and declared them again on my application for ilr. when i gave birth to my first child we were not married yet at that time but he accepted and signed his name on his birth cert, my second child was different as his situation already came to light (it was a tough time as i was about to give birth) and i put father unknown or not applicable on her birth cert. the first 2 lawyers who handled my case was really after the money and all my hard earned cash while i was still in the phils went to the case. i kept on asking my self at that time do i really need to go through this process because no one explained it to me but nevermind it went smoothly and it was over and done with. i have inquired 3 weeks ago regarding child custody to a lawyers firm in ortigas (they got a website) and they are charging me 75K each child + expenses (etc etc) and they even threatened me that my application at the british embassy will be turned down if i applied for their settlement visa and i didn't have the child custody hence i have sought advice and opinion at this wonderful site. i do hope i need not to apply for child custody as it's a lot of money specially at this present recession period we need to save the money plus i've got a wedding to sort out as well so every penny are all accounted for now. thanks again and hope you have a lovely day.
    Why not try to get your second baby as you said his father was unknown and you are the sole and only one who have right for custody. Have you tried to talk nicely to your bigamous partner b4? Who knows he's thinking about your babies future. If he's not that selfish, then you can have it if you sit down and talk. If he cannot give both, then try one. It's also hurt for him if he's the one who raise them without you. They are both your babies so both of you have reasons.
    75 K is too much. I wish you can find an honest to goodness lawyer. We just finished from our case about my mom's property and I spent about 400 £ total. That includes all fees and attorneys fees. My Mom won the case after 2 years and I am pleased we got a respected lawyer. He is just a new lawyer but brilliant. So try to gather more lawyer inquiries.
    That's good you declare them to embassy. I have friend who didn't declare his son so his visa took longer because he needs to undergo DNA.

    Just don't give go signal to crocodile lawyers. I bet you can find the right lawyer. If you want free consultaion and free lawyer, go to nearest PAO office and ask for legal help. They can give you free. Your Mom or other relative can ask your question thru them. Tell them to visit PAO and ask their contact numbers. That will be great for you if you're here in the UK.


  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by adam&chryss View Post
    you wouldn't need for child custody. British Embassy are very understanding with this (that's what I believe bec. they granted my visa for my son without any hassle)... as many people nowadays are single parents and this case is not new to them i'm sure. the only thing you need to prove is that your mother is just responsible in taking care of them. and submit loads of evidence that you are sending money and communicating with them regularly.
    as for travel clearance you wouldn't need it as well.

    goodluck!!!

    I think we need to know more about her babies. If her both babies are in custody of their dad. I think that is her first problem. If her babies is under her Mom custody, then there will only few problems and will be easy to ignore their dad. Plus more docs as you have said


  22. #22
    Respected Member aphrodite78's Avatar
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    hi all,

    thanks for the guidances and advice, i am trully thankful that i found this site (it's like a vent and an outlet for me). my kids in the phils are 7 and 9 y.o. and i left them 4 years ago to find a stable ground for them to start with when they come over here in uk. luckily enough i didn't went ahead with their application when i first came over here to settle as i wanted them to first study english and for me to find a decent job as i don't want to rely on the system. my relationship with my ex british husband didn't worked out very well and he was convicted of assaulting me and detaining me in our marital home (he was given a sentence of community service though i was expecting harsher sentence) hence home office gave me an ILR in view of this (i was about to go home to the phils when an immigration sols contacted me to apply for ILR aug 06 and granted nov 06). so it was a blessing in disguise that my kids were not with me at that time. i will never forgive my self for tagging them along with me if something bad happened to them as well. for nearly 4 years of my stay here in uk my mother look after them the best she could, their biological father never contributed whatsoever and my first son saw him rarely as he was working as a bar tender in a hotel and our house is so far so he was renting, but my daughter never saw him. as previously mentioned my mother is in remission (has ovarian cancer the same time i got my ilr in 2006) i got 2 other young sons here in uk and i am about to get married this coming august to the father of my kids(i hope this is the last). my life is very complicated (pang maalaala mo kaya ate charo) i've been thru a hell of a lot and still came out strong despite of all the odds that life could possibly throw at me. thanks everyone, by the way i am living in rochdale, greater manchester is there anyone living in rochdale? now that i started living my life (before i was just existing) as my ex brit husband controlled me i got no filipino friends i know no one. i'd like to start meeting and joining filipino community. thanks and have a lovely day everyone and hopefully i'd be able to meet some filipino whom i can share recipes, gossips about the phils and so on so forth.


  23. #23
    Respected Member jta's Avatar
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    hi aphrodite78

    don't worry so much, just supply all necessary documents, make your bankstatement healthy, and make a good explaination letter to ECO and everything will b ok. I brought my 2 kids here aged 9 and 6 with no problem. so goodluck!!!
    ----------------------------------------------
    "FAILURE IS NOT DEFEAT UNLESS U STOP TRYING"


  24. #24
    Respected Member aphrodite78's Avatar
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    thanks for your reply, got a question though were you already settled in the uk when you applied for your kids in the phils? thanks jta


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    You don't need to worry if your children is under your Mom custody. No need to fight for their custody. As others said, prepare all the necessary docs and have a try!
    Go go go!!!
    Gooooogluck and God Bless!


  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite78 View Post
    thanks for your reply, got a question though were you already settled in the uk when you applied for your kids in the phils? thanks jta
    I hope jta not mind that I answer your question to her, http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php?t=11375

    She came here throught spouse visa and she bring her kids together with her. read the link I gave you, that is her story. Good luck


  27. #27
    Respected Member Louella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite78 View Post
    hi penny thanks for your reply. yup i have declared them when i first applied for my settlement visa and declared them again on my application for ilr. when i gave birth to my first child we were not married yet at that time but he accepted and signed his name on his birth cert, my second child was different as his situation already came to light (it was a tough time as i was about to give birth) and i put father unknown or not applicable on her birth cert. the first 2 lawyers who handled my case was really after the money and all my hard earned cash while i was still in the phils went to the case. i kept on asking my self at that time do i really need to go through this process because no one explained it to me but nevermind it went smoothly and it was over and done with. i have inquired 3 weeks ago regarding child custody to a lawyers firm in ortigas (they got a website) and they are charging me 75K each child + expenses (etc etc) and they even threatened me that my application at the british embassy will be turned down if i applied for their settlement visa and i didn't have the child custody hence i have sought advice and opinion at this wonderful site. i do hope i need not to apply for child custody as it's a lot of money specially at this present recession period we need to save the money plus i've got a wedding to sort out as well so every penny are all accounted for now. thanks again and hope you have a lovely day.
    They would say that wouldn't they, especially as it's likely to earn them so much money. I don't think you need to have anything to do with attorneys as it's obvious that you have sole responsibility for your kids and their biological father has no input to their upkeep and has no contact with them. As far as the visa application is concerned that is the only question they ask, do you have sole responsibility for them.
    Iain.
    Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans... - John Lennon


  28. #28
    Respected Member aphrodite78's Avatar
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    thanks a lot to all and i am now collating all my docs. sorry for the late reply i got a lot on i am getting married (again) on 3 aug 09, got my life in the uk test this coming 8th of july (nerve wrecking i am on chapter 6) and my fiance gave me a surprise ticket to the phils (travelling with my two kids and husband by that time) so right now i am quite mixed up but many thanks iain, louella, mrs j major, penny, and everyone i haven't mentioned but who in a way has really helped. i'll keep in touch


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