Costs of courtship/Marriage to a filipina ?

[ginapeterb]

Have you ever thought about what the likely cost would be, if you wanted to court a Filipina with a view to an eventual marriage, few actually count the cost, if you haven’t thought about it, maybe its time you did, because in many cases, you will need to treat this like a project, why do I say this, well for one thing, the cost of courting a Filipina and taking it to eventual marriage, can have an adverse effect on your wallet, so do you have deep pockets, hmm you might need them.

I don’t want to scare anyone, that is not my intention, because in truth, even if you don’t have lots of savings, you can actually take this process stage by stage, and if you are that keen to marry a Filipina, you can save up for each stage as it comes, however, this can also go to lengthen the process for many, however the Immigration process can be quite expensive so, I have posted a timeline with actual real time expenses to show readers what is involved.

Before you jump in with both feet, my suggestion is simple, you should sit down and do some calculations and see where you are, see if you have the necessary funds and or income to go through with this type of project.

I will list first the one time expenses, these are expenses that you will probably only spend money on once, but are a necessary step.

Your one time visit to the Philippines to meet your loved one, this is a requirement that you must have met your intended, this is the minimum requirement for a VAF2 2003 Fiancée visa. This cost includes Round trip air tickets to Manila/Cebu, accommodation, food, trips, etc £2000-£3000.00
A Return trip should you choose to marry in the Philippines, this could include Round Trip air tickets, Accommodation, Food, Honeymoon, Wedding costs, etc the cost for this one off expense is around £3000.00 - £4000.00
Passport photos needed along the way. £10.00
Passport photos required for you in various forms needed by authorities in Philippines around £15.00
Cost of submitting An Application on VAFW 2003 for either a fiancée visa or a spouse visa is £260.00
Cost of obtaining a CNI (Certificate of no Impediment to marriage) in UK, the cost is around £30.00
Cost of obtaining a local CNI (Legal Capacity for marriage) in the Philippines - cost will be around £25.00
Cost of round trip tickets for you and your loved one to travel from Provinces to attend CFO Seminar (Commission for Filipinos overseas) in Manila/Cebu including hotel. Cost around £150.00
Cost of CFO Seminar £2.00
Cost of new Passport for your loved one, approximately £35.00
Cost of Applying for duplicate birth certificates at NSO (National Statistics office) in Philippines is circa £25.00
Cost of Marriage License in locality of Marriage if in Philippines £35.00
Cost of Air Ticket for your loved one to Come to UK once visa is approved, from £650.00 to £1000.00
Cost of buying her a cell phone considering that she made need one to contact you regularly, £150-300.00 depending on model.
One time cost of buying warm clothes associated with her transit to a colder climate, new Boots, winter clothes, jackets, coats, umbrella, mittens, scarf, woollies, Electric blanket for the bed, she will freeze ! Money for her to bring a Rice cooker ! She has to cook rice ! Cost around £500.00
Cost of round trip ticket for possible 2nd visit to be available to British Embassy should your presence be required at interview for settlement (VAF2003) Cost including hotels, food, gifts, expenses, £2000-£3000.
She might want to throw a leaving party for all her friends, work colleagues, and family cost likely to be around £50.00 to £100.00



Ongoing expenses during a courtship with a Filipina on a monthly basis.

Provision of Sustento, possibly to maintain her in a apartment now that she is your fiancée monthly cost could be from £20.00 to £100.00 per month
Fiancée or spouse allowances anything from £50.00 to £500.00 depending on circumstances (This is a requirement if being interviewed at British Embassy, showing evidence of support.)
Phone cards during courtship period, visa processing, and other associated calls, cost per month to be around £100.00
Assistance with her going on more regular occasions to internet café’s £20.00 a month.
New clothes, hair visits, nails and general beauty treatments, can be taken from allowance monthly.
Cost of birth control when you are visiting the Philippines (don’t laugh) it’s a requirement, unless you want a little more evidence of relationship than you expected ! (come on guys, that was damn funny, lighten up a little ) Cost £5.00 per month.


Costs associated with New Filipina wife or Fiancée in UK.

Costs of increased telephone usage during first few months when she arrives in UK - calling cards, BT, NTL World, etc, bills increase rapidly cost around £100-£400.00 per month.
Costs of obtaining special foods for her like, trips to Manila Supermarket, trips to fish markets, etc, obtaining Asian foods, extra cost £100.00 per month.
Costs of her own special allowance if on Fiancée visa, (she cannot work) around
£??? To £???
Extra costs incurred if she wants to all of a sudden learn to drive ? Cost £100.00 to
£250.00 per month for lessons, extra insurances for your car, upping your no claims bonus premium from reasonable to extortionate.
Extra costs if she wants a new car ?? £???? To £?????
Costs of initial 2 months together, entertainment, showing her around, taking her to London, or Manchester or Sheffield, or Cardiff, or Birmingham, or Edinbrough or Glasgow, etc etc, in other words, its costs money to take her around, this will be almost like another dating period costs £??? Who knows ??


As you can see, its impossible to put down to paper all the costs involved in pursuing a Filipina, but I will say this, whatever you decide to do, think carefully, its only fair to her and fair to you, “Its not cheap to court a Filipina�, you are not going to get a woman of this quality on the cheap, so I hope this has helped, and even when you have spent all of this money, its not always guaranteed that you are going to get the woman of your dreams, you heard the phrase “You pays your money, you takes your chances� well this is certainly true, I hope this gives you some insight into what is involved, best of luck with what you decide to do, in my estimation its going to cost you around £10,000 to £15,000 to successfully court a Filipina over a period of from six months to 2 years, depending on various factors.

This cost of course can be spread over a long period, however the cost roughly will work out to be the same whichever way you do it, either you have the savings, or you earn it as you go along.

Ouch Ha ha ha that hurts !!!!!

[tim-gregory]

:( another cost if you bride to be is seperated is her annulment ranging £800-£1200 if her ex wont co-operate, I will keep you posted on that one as this is the siuatuion I find my self in. OH and you divorce, sorry lads fact of life.

[peterdavid]

:( another cost if you bride to be is seperated is her annulment ranging £800-£1200 if her ex wont co-operate, I will keep you posted on that one as this is the siuatuion I find my self in. OH and you divorce, sorry lads fact of life.

An annulment for only £800-£1200? I have heard of it happening, but I have heard far more stories of lawyers taking the 80,000 pesos and never actually securing a proper annulment and when the visa application is still made, lo and behold, the filipina is still married and is now a bigamist to boot. Sad fact but the philippine legal system is full of unscrupulous crooks. A foreigner walks into an attorney's office with his filipina, wanting to annul her previous marriage, and it's all the attorney can do to stop himself from drooling all over the floor in anticipation of the amount of money he thinks he'll be making. Even (some of) the lawyers listed on the British Embassy website will milk it for all they can if they think they can get away with it.

I have no idea how you can find a reputable lawyer in the philippines who, half way through the process, won't suddenly 'discover' a load of 'extra and unforeseen expenses' which you are compelled to pay to get the annulment - but a lot of lawyers saying they can get an annulment for £800 will just take the money and run. Beware also of any lawyer who asks for money upfront - if he wants that, don't use him. Professional lawyers the world over KNOW that in their profession, they do the work BEFORE payment is made.

I am a lawyer myself and know a little bit about the philippine legal system - if anything sounds suspect about what you're going through, feel free to trot it out on here. For example, if your lawyer is trying to charge you 5000 pesos for a simple registration which you can do your self for 20 pesos, that sort of thing. Can't promise I'll know much, but collectively, the people reading this may be able to spot a scam from an outside perspective and let you know.

[ginapeterb]

I think it would be interesting to hear about the costs involved in Legal Anulment cases, as undoubtedly there will be situations where an English guy falls for a Filipina who is married and vice versa, I think this happens quite alot, I would like to hear more about it, as it helps other guys who find themselves in this situation.

In my own case, most know that I had to divorce first and am still doing so, so it does happen, english guys who need to get a divorce will also want to know what they have to do, although we need a new section for that.

Lets keep this going

[tim-gregory]

I will keep you posted on my experiance cost procdure we take etc. I think at the moment because of some complications we are slowing down a bit. I am back over to the Phlippines on the 24th of this month so we will beable to discuss our plans in more detail but I will keep you posted.

[zanyme]

im new here...what happened to this thread? any updates please...thanks

[IainBusby]

Hi Zanyme,
It appears it just dried up a while ago. Why not start a new thread on this subject yourself, if its something that want to know more about.
Iain.

[ginapeterb]

The reason the thread dried up, as with all threads, is that, at that paticular time, there were not many takers, if you look, you can see I wrote the thread during November of 2004, being that it is 2 years ago, you can understand how it has now dried up, but as you say, if you want to start another one, please do so, the costs of getting married to a Filipina is always a cause for interest,

[mupsuit]

The reason the thread dried up, as with all threads, is that, at that paticular time, there were not many takers, if you look, you can see I wrote the thread during November of 2004, being that it is 2 years ago, you can understand how it has now dried up, but as you say, if you want to start another one, please do so, the costs of getting married to a Filipina is always a cause for interest,

I think this is one area where cost is not an issue

most folks will just pay what is needed to marry their girl and get her to the UK

that said, it is a good to make any folks aware that the total costs for a Filipina bride CIF UK airport is about £10,000 or FOB Manila about £ 9000 (you did give her some spending money for the trip !!! )

It is not an exercise for the faint hearted or the financially challenged

[IainBusby]

I think it would be interesting to hear about the costs involved in Legal Anulment cases.

Hi Pete,
To free her from her previous marriage, my wife and I went for this "Presumtive Death" process which was recommended by her attorney. The original quote was for P120,000, P60,000up front and another P60,000 on completion. After the usual unexpected additional charges, this eventually became about P150,000 by the time it was all done.

But for the alternative process, annulment, we were quoted P125,000 + and an additional P5,000 to P10,000 per hearing and we were told that there could be many hearings. We were also told that it would take very much longer, especially as no one had heard from her ex for so long or knew where he was.

As for the total cost of our courtship, subsequent marriage and all the money I have sent for travel, to Manila and Cebu, documentation and all the other various expenses, I can't even begin to think about it, it's frightening to even contemplate the total cost. If someone had told me before it all began, that I would meet someone and I would spend so much money so that we could be together, I would have said they were crazy. But it really is worth every penny now that she's got her visa and she'll be here with me on the 28th of September.

Iain.

[mupsuit]

Hi Pete,
To free her from her previous marriage, my wife and I went for this "Presumtive Death" process which was recommended by her attorney.

Iain.

Friend of mine did this - they now have four children so it does work - however on a recent visit back to her home city they attended a party and guess who was there !! her brothers had a quick word and there were no repercussions

But it really is worth every penny now that she's got her visa and she'll be here with me on the 28th of September.

Iain.

Great news - I going to start a new thread of suggestions on what you should buy to ensure her welcome -

The very best for your future happiness togther in the UK

[bobby_davro]

Hmmmm I only earn 30k a year... sweet jesus thast my plans out of the window

[robeth]

Hmmmm I only earn 30k a year... sweet jesus thast my plans out of the window

if u really love the woman, it requires a leap of faith and enough funds... dont despair..sometimes its worth it...

[ginapeterb]

Hi Pete,
To free her from her previous marriage, my wife and I went for this "Presumtive Death" process which was recommended by her attorney. The original quote was for P120,000, P60,000up front and another P60,000 on completion. After the usual unexpected additional charges, this eventually became about P150,000 by the time it was all done.

But for the alternative process, annulment, we were quoted P125,000 + and an additional P5,000 to P10,000 per hearing and we were told that there could be many hearings. We were also told that it would take very much longer, especially as no one had heard from her ex for so long or knew where he was.

As for the total cost of our courtship, subsequent marriage and all the money I have sent for travel, to Manila and Cebu, documentation and all the other various expenses, I can't even begin to think about it, it's frightening to even contemplate the total cost. If someone had told me before it all began, that I would meet someone and I would spend so much money so that we could be together, I would have said they were crazy. But it really is worth every penny now that she's got her visa and she'll be here with me on the 28th of September.

Iain.

Ian

thats a nice story, congratulations, yes the cost can be very high, I know of one who spent £15,000 in the end of getting his girl over to UK, it took over 2 years, with one problem or another, i.e. anulment from previous marriage to a Filipino, then problems with paperwork, then a Filipino wedding, then continuous visits, flights, the usuals, yes the cost can be high, as you say, when they get here, it seems worth it, in my own case, probably somewhere around £15,000 as well, when you count all the trips I made, 8 in all, throughout a 2 year period.

Best wishes Ian.

[nora]

Hi Pete,

This is most interesting thing i read here. It seems like all UK bf/finacee are spending for their wives to be or even gf. My question is how come my fiancee of 1 year does not even give me money to pay for the phone bills nor internet money.I pay them myself. No spending money for me whatsoever. I never asked any money from him before. I know that other finacess didn't but they were still given spending money. I'm so confused. Any ideas???

[Pauldo]

Nora,
I think you are engaged to what is commonly known as a Cheap Charlie. Don't expect things to change much when you get to the UK either

Or maybe you earn more than him so he sees no reason to send you anything, but you should start worrying when he starts asking YOU for money

Pauldo

[KeithD]

Ask Paul for money, he's very generous

......he sent his mates round to see me once, completely free of charge

[fred]

Whoa!! Talk about inflation!! We paid about £300.00 for the lot including our wedding at Pasay city hall. Wedding rings were about PHP 800.00 from Sta cruz. (1986)
Actually,the stag night cost more than the rings.

[KeithD]

You ate a stag?

[fred]

You ate a stag?

I dont remember!

[nora]

Just my luck if I marry a Cheap Charlie. I thought men are suppose to provide for the family. How can I earn moe than my fiancee, he is earning pounds? No i dont think he will ask me money, although when he was here(3 times) we take turns is paying like meals, fare or the bar. What do you think guys of my fiancee help please?

[ginapeterb]

Nora, I read your comments with interest, so your BF does not give you a Baon, that is unusual, most Fiance's give the girl a monthly baon, some range from P10,000 a month to P50,000 a month, I used to give my Wife at least P25,000 every 2 weeks, that was for her mobile phone bill, her nails and hair to be done each week, I insisted that she have her hair done and relaxed every week, her footspa, nails, and back massages, her shopping trips to the mall, clothes, bags and shoes, all came out of her allowance, I did not want local people saying, " Oh she is with that British Guy and look at her " I wanted people to say " Oh she is with that British guy and she always looks good"

Normally, when the Filipino fiancee arrives in UK, she should really be thinking about the colour of her new car, so that when she arrives at least she has an idea of what she will drive, most guys will give you a baon, if the guy you are with is not doing that, as my mate pauldo says, he is a cheapy charlie !, and he will be like that all the way through your relationship, depending of course on how long it lasts, which by the sound of it, wont be very long, if he is with a Filipina, especially when you start crying for new clothes bags and shoes, in every Filipina their is an Imelda, what will he do when you want to go to the mall ?

[KeithD]

Money cause more problems in Western/Filipina relationships than any other subject, which is why I always tell folk to sort it out as soon as you get serious.

[andypaul]

Just my luck if I marry a Cheap Charlie. I thought men are suppose to provide for the family. How can I earn moe than my fiancee, he is earning pounds? No i dont think he will ask me money, although when he was here(3 times) we take turns is paying like meals, fare or the bar. What do you think guys of my fiancee help please?

Hi Nora

With out knowing fiancee and your situation i would just like to raise a few points, before we write your Fiancee off as a cheap charile. (Im not saying the others were wrong and im right just offering another viewpoint which you might like to consider.)

1. Does your Fiancee realise you feel this way, sometimes with a long distance relationship with differences in language and culture, sometimes some messages and either sides feelings on matters are not fully understood by the other. Some couples find it hard enough with a local partner let alone one who lives 8000 miles away and speaks a different mother tongue.

Dropping hints you need help with bills so you can chat together might help. At least he then might let you know if he wants to help you or for some reason would rather not.
A lot of the information on the Web both about uk/phill dating and internet dating in general and i guess the british Media would infulence a lot of British guys to avoid sending any money to someone they are chatting to.

2. He maybe embrass to offer your from what i read a decent Lady who can look after herself and he might feel that he could insult you if he "paid you to chat to him". We all know thats not the reason, but in the UK many people don't like to cause a scene and would rather not risk insulting someone.

3. He may not be certain how to send money at a decent rate if you had asked me about three years ago how to send money to phill, i would not have had a clue.


I sent My Wife money a little at first to help us chat together, but it was only after i had read on the web how it would be costing my Wife a lot of her daily income to chat to me compared to western standards, that i offered. My Wife never asked as she like you, did not want to look like she was a gold digger.

At first i would just send via western union a small amount now and then and sent her Globe load to help with texts, but once we were serious we set up a special bank account to save money on transfer. Then after a few vists i left her a Credit card, for just in case and for major purchases like when we/she needed to book hotels in manila when dealing with the Visa Application/ilets exam and for my stays.
Thats us and every couple are different my Wife didn't have a Job while arranging the Wedding, studying for her Illets and then applying for the Visa. So i sent her an allowance for her to live on and contribute to her familys houshold.

My Wife now she has a Job here in the UK loves to take us both out for dinner or pay her way contributing to household bills and most importantly send money back to both look after and treat her family

I hope all works out just great for you both

[fred]

Im really a cheap Charlie..My mrs came to the U.K on Pakistan airlines for cryin out loud!!

[nora]

Your girl is so lucky to have a monthly allowance for her mobile, hair, nails, etc. I don't get any not even to pay for my internet (which is not really much) I'm just wondering how come he does not give me any while all the other girls are having this previlege. I really need some insights on this matter and even on other matters and I don't have any British/English friends so I dont know for sure how it works there or how your culture is regarding this matter. I do have other concerns too, I dont want to marry with so many questions in mind about my fiancee. Is it possible to ask for your email ad, so that I can tell you my other concerns too. I really need help here. Thank you.

[nora]

Thank you for your sensible views on my concern. To answer your question, no my fiancee does not realize that I feel this way. If I tell him, he might think I'm a gold digger (which I'm not) although he is not a rich guy.

I do have a job which supports me which might also be the reason why he does see the need to send me any money or it could be that he is financially tied which worries me when we get married eventually as to how he will support a family.

Ours is more than just chatting, we have been engaged for 1 year now. I think on how to send money abroad is not a problem as one can always ask any bank how to go about it.

He visited me 3 times already and it has always been the same. Sometimes I pay sometimes him. Sometimes I feel like I'm the man in the relationship in this sense. I really need some advise and insights on these matters. There are other matters too that I still want to ask but would not want to write here. If possible can I have your email ad so that I can write it to you there?I need your help. Thank you.

[fred]

Nora,he might just be saving like crazy to sort out things like accomodation,flights and other practicle things you may need to start your lives together..Life here isn`t always honey and roses and things can somtimes get tough.
Of course it might be that he earns a lot of money and is just a kuriput charlie.
We need more clues.

[robeth]

I need your help. Thank you.

men,guys,boys or whatever u call them are never mind readers...some are sensitive,some are not.its always nice to make urself clear and that they wont have the trouble guessing what's its all about, always in a nice way.

monies, like religion and politics are always sensitive matters to discuss but then still need discussing and be upfront about it.

if u two find it very difficult to agree on a certain matter,its time to change the way u think or change fiancee...

u dont have to agree with me tho...

[andypaul]

Thank you for your sensible views on my concern. To answer your question, no my fiancee does not realize that I feel this way. If I tell him, he might think I'm a gold digger (which I'm not) although he is not a rich guy.

I do have a job which supports me which might also be the reason why he does see the need to send me any money or it could be that he is financially tied which worries me when we get married eventually as to how he will support a family.

Ours is more than just chatting, we have been engaged for 1 year now. I think on how to send money abroad is not a problem as one can always ask any bank how to go about it.

He visited me 3 times already and it has always been the same. Sometimes I pay sometimes him. Sometimes I feel like I'm the man in the relationship in this sense. I really need some advise and insights on these matters. There are other matters too that I still want to ask but would not want to write here. If possible can I have your email ad so that I can write it to you there?I need your help. Thank you.

I think you need to bring this topic up with him asap. If hes your Fiancee then you should share all with him. Im sure you will be tactifull. Im sure others can help suggest ways to bring up the matter.

If he has been to Phill three times then it must realise how your doing and the difference in UK and PHill income?

For most guys sending a few pounds/peso or if he would rather not send cash say globe or smart load so you can both text more would not be to hard. But of course i can't speak about an indivual.

He may have reasons he does not want to splash the cash, was he married or in a serious relationship previously? If he was he may have got burned and now very careful with the money he has. That or he is having to pay his ex wife/support kids etc. That or have money problems.

You need to know about the above both for any visa application and as his Wife how he will support you in the UK (if you so choose to move here)

What do you know about his background (im not saying write it here on the board of course) but list all you know about him for yourself. Where does he live, what sort of house, does he own, pay a mortage on it or rent? what previous relationships has he had, children/siblings or parents to support? Where does he work and in what sort of role?
What does he do in his spare time, hobbies and socially?

What are his future plans for himself and also for the two of you as a couple?

Most brits have so much more complex finacial dealings than the avegrage Phill normally have. My Wife couldn't belive the amount of outgoings we have here and the Tax!!!
So be prepared to be amazed with some of the figures mentioned he might have as outgoings.

Alot of brits don't like to talk about money its a subject many think of as rude to talk about sound crazy but true.

You are right sending money is not that hard once you know how, although i would not use a british bank to transfer the money as the comission rates would normally be much higher than more specialst companies.

You seem to have some nagging thoughts in your head and you need to clear these up first before you move on.

I have read and seen in real life plenty of couples where one partner has different ideas to the other on how the relationship is doing. Make sure you let your fiancee what you think is happening.

I hope all goes well