Business Money

[KARATEKA]

Hi People,

Well i was on the net for rest of the night after work on the doors and near to the end of our chat she told that she can not come online tomorrow as she needs to get a licence for her family's business ( bread shop ) and it cost 10,000 for a year and she only as 5,000 and i thought ,, way HAY !!! SO I ASKED her if she asking me for money and she said NO and she does not need my money from me or need my help she just wanted to tell me her problem and she talked about that the family owed money to friend's to about 15,000 . i ask her if she was seeking money And it was a big NO BUT i don't want to put her off but asking her if she trying to have me over . the best way forward ?? .

[mavid]

Ooops...sounds quite familiar Like what Peter was on about on the other thread.

The relationship is still to young to be telling a guy these too personal money matters. When I started talking to my fiance way back 6 years ago, I don't even remember telling him about my family's personal problems that early.

But then again, people are different... let's see what the others will say


Peace!

[Ann07]

Correct me if im wrong that you mentioned in your previous thread that you just met this lady few weeks ago, am i right?

In my opinion, in that early stage she always mentioned about money though she is not asking you directly but for me i think she is telling you that for you wanting to help her. That rings a bell Hope I am wrong.

The first stage of building a relationship is knowing ach other. Telling stories etc...

Just give it more time to discern
Goodluck!

[Sim11UK]

In my 15 month relationship, money has never been mentioned...Not once.

If you've only known her a week, it sounds a bit dodgy?
What is your next move? If she says she can't come back online???
Maybe play along with it for a while, but be very cautious.
Don't encourage her, when you say "are you asking for money".

I can't say, I've had any of these problems & I met her, pretty much by accident on a chat website. It was 3 weeks, before I even told anybody, about her...Then I was thinking to myself, this is great, but where's it going? as we are at different ends of the earth.

Happy to say, it's going really well & after 2 trips out there, we are engaged.

Please don't tar them all, as you said "Asian girls & money". Most are lovely, there are just a few "rotten eggs", you need to watch out for.

Just play it safely.

[KARATEKA]

She as only said about money only once the other was me asking about prices of item's, she just said i was somebody to talk about it . I just so hope she is not seeking cash as i kind of like her

I am so green when it come's to a nice smile Ex Legion martial Arts and work in security hard as nails there nice girl comes along with a nice smile and i am green and soft as a baby.

[Sim11UK]

Fatal attraction! It's easy, to fall very quickly.

Sounds like your mind is made up, just don't drop your guard...There are lots of other nice ones.

[gemini63]

Hi People,

Well i was on the net for rest of the night after work on the doors and near to the end of our chat she told that she can not come online tomorrow as she needs to get a licence for her family's business ( bread shop ) and it cost 10,000 for a year and she only as 5,000 and i thought ,, way HAY !!! SO I ASKED her if she asking me for money and she said NO and she does not need my money from me or need my help she just wanted to tell me her problem and she talked about that the family owed money to friend's to about 15,000 . i ask her if she was seeking money And it was a big NO BUT i don't want to put her off but asking her if she trying to have me over . the best way forward ?? .

Hi...Just to tell you that getting a business license, the cost will not reach 10thou pesos.Especially if its only a little shop to start with. I dont think so shes telling the truth.She is just waiting for you to insist to help her.He..he..old trick of telling or asking indirect...

[KARATEKA]

Do you think she is seeking cash as saying 10,000 for licence i don't want put her off by saying i think it's a lie or the price seem's high it did seem high to me , i wish the gym was open do a few rounds on the bag

[pennybarry]

Hi People,

Well i was on the net for rest of the night after work on the doors and near to the end of our chat she told that she can not come online tomorrow as she needs to get a licence for her family's business ( bread shop ) and it cost 10,000 for a year and she only as 5,000 and i thought ,, way HAY !!! SO I ASKED her if she asking me for money and she said NO and she does not need my money from me or need my help she just wanted to tell me her problem and she talked about that the family owed money to friend's to about 15,000 . i ask her if she was seeking money And it was a big NO BUT i don't want to put her off but asking her if she trying to have me over . the best way forward ?? .

If you started a little business in the Philippines, it is just alright if you don't registered in a year. You can registered it first to your Barangay and it cost less than 5£. If that is Bread shop as you mentioned, the cost of second hand machines to make bread like slicer, oven, and mauld cost around hunded thousand pesos already.
Sounds dodgy really if her Mom owed 15K only. Need more info ehehhe

[KARATEKA]

Well it look's like a con i really kind of liked her too

[aromulus]

Well it look's like a con i really kind of liked her too

I did mention red flags in the other thread....

Age, name and location please, some of the members may stem from the same area, and if they have time they could make discreet enquiries....

Just keep her sweet by chatting, if she mention the various problems afflicting her and the family, just sympathize with her and see how far it gets you, don't discuss money but let her do the talking.

[IainBusby]

Hi People,

Well i was on the net for rest of the night after work on the doors and near to the end of our chat she told that she can not come online tomorrow as she needs to get a licence for her family's business ( bread shop ) and it cost 10,000 for a year and she only as 5,000 and i thought ,, way HAY !!! SO I ASKED her if she asking me for money and she said NO and she does not need my money from me or need my help she just wanted to tell me her problem and she talked about that the family owed money to friend's to about 15,000 . i ask her if she was seeking money And it was a big NO BUT i don't want to put her off but asking her if she trying to have me over . the best way forward ?? .

Sorry to burst your bubble and call me an old cynic if you like, but I'm pretty sure she's only after your money. Although you've only known her a short time the money subject seems to have come up quite often and of course if you ask her outright if she's asking for money, she will of course say NO! Softly Softly Catchy Monkey!

As you carry on chatting with her I'm pretty certain that various amounts of money which are needed for a wide range of problems will continue to be carefully woven into your conversations and the one at the top of the list is of course "can't afford to come online tomorrow" because that would of course be quite a small amount, just for starters, which of course, would appear to be as much for your benefit as hers.

These girls know the art of subtlety and the whole process is designed to get you to offer money, even to the point where they refuse and refuse until you absolutely insist.

I think that if your on Yahoo Messenger and you review you chat logs very carefully, I'm sure you'll start to notice how often the money subject creeps into the conversation.

Iain.

[joebloggs]

In my 15 month relationship, money has never been mentioned...Not once.

so your the lucky one

not asking you directly, but making you aware of her families money problems, making you feel guilty thou

not a good start, and it could be the start of a slipperly slope for you, if you do give her the money

maybe you could tell her, you would like to help, but all your spare money is tied up at the mo, and tell her a white lie, saying you've just started a new job, so you've no spare money for a couple of months, or you've loaned money to a member of your family, and are struggling til they repay, and see if she still chats to you , if you notice any changes in her behaviour then it doesn't look good, if she still chats to you as before, maybe there is hope

[wiggs]

Before going to the philippines for a holiday i joined a few dating sites and meet a lot on line through yahoo.To be honest with you i couldn't have a conversation with any 1 with out them asking me for money for this reason or that.I'm not saying every 1 on line is like that but every1 i spoke to was, except a few.Anyway KARATEKA don't give up, if you can take a trip out there your be surprised at what you see and can find.

[chris40]

hi karateka, its a fair comment to say that she is not asking directly for money but i think she may be hinting at the moment and surely its just a matter of time.
if i were you i would keep chatting to this woman ,give her a bit more rope and see if she hangs herself. (not literaly ,in case anyone reading this is unaware of that saying)
and dont let this put you off of filipinas because many of them are beautiful , loyal and fun to be with.
beleive me ,the philippines is a heavily populated place. there are so many good looking women out there you could possibly meet. it is a visual feast out there.why pin your hopes on one woman when she sounds a bit dodgy

[KeithD]

In the 10 years since I met my missus she's never asked for money......she's always spent it before we get to that stage

[KARATEKA]

I did tell her that i was not on the point of giving my cash away without good reason and that i was not a rich guy lol,

What could 10,000 get you over there what a weekly wage

[joebloggs]

What could 10,000 get you over there what a weekly wage

that 10k php could easily turn into a 1,000,000+ php over the next few years

[gemini63]

I did tell her that i was not on the point of giving my cash away without good reason and that i was not a rich guy lol,

What could 10,000 get you over there what a weekly wage[/That amount is more than a month already to some ordinary employee and laborers...And its more than 3 mos salary for a helper in phil.

[ginapeterb]

Ian Busby has hit the nail on the head.

These girls know the art of subtlety and the whole process is designed to get you to offer money, even to the point where they refuse and refuse until you absolutely insist.

Its not that they really want to take you for money, its simply a matter that they exhaust all avenue's of obtaining cash to solve the long list of life threatening and urgent needs they have in one of the world's poorest countries.

As Ian has quite correctly identified, to use the emotional tool of misfortune from a female to a male, who by nature cannot help himself but to feel protective of a woman who professes to love him, its pretty hard for any male to ignore.

No matter how much information is posted on these forum's and no matter how much advice is given out, men from G8 countries will continue to pour vast quantities of their hard earned income, and savings into poor countries for the benefit of unseen families who live in poverty and servitude who habitually use every method at their disposal to increase their life chances.

This girl you are talking to is using all means at her disposal to obtain money by the vehicle of love and marriage, the problem for her, is that she does not have the patience to reel you in, she has shown her hand of cards far too quickly, and I would imagine her lists of misfortune are even more urgent than she lets on.

She will insist and insist that money is not an issue, but within a short period you will as Ian pointed out, feel an attachment to her, it will start off with a small amount for expenses, such as Internet cafe money, a few hundred pesos here and there, will turn into a larger amount in about a months time, and before you know it, hundreds of thousands of pesos will be sent eastwards by you to her.

I do not know anyone in my circle of friends who does not in one way or another end up Padala to the Philippines, (learn the terminology) many of us who have been in relationships for years, probably send more now than ever before, ask some of the wives here at this forum, you might be surprised what they have to say.

Many of the wives here, will probably tell you, it sucks ! they don't want to send any more than you do, but they have no choice, the families they support are reliant upon them, even when they work together with their husbands, they know how hard money is to obtain.

Many of the wives here at this forum, and Fiancee's understand once they get here, just how money is hard to obtain, no one gives you anything, in fact many say just how the UK has taught them to be self reliant, that is something Filipino's who have travelled out of the country have learned.

In the Philippines, self reliance is a hard concept to grasp, if you spend enough time in the Philippines, you will see just how hard it is for those who have no life chances, you might see them sitting around in the puroks, on the street corners, in the market places, look at the faces, every face tells a story, I have seen them, many times, I know those faces, and when I see them, I read every story that is in them.

These girls don't really want to ask strangers for money, they find themselves having really little or no choice, if they strike up a conversation with a foreigner, that is a chance to solicit some help, sometimes, the pressure is just to great, you represent a little life chance to them, and if you don't work out, another Joe will probably stump up the readies for them to take their life forward.

Sadly, her problems are not your problems, there are millions of people around the world, all doing exactly the same, its a hard life out there, but my advice is simple, unless you want a tale of woe and heartache, and a very costly experience, take your time with this contact, and resist feeling sorry for her.

But......

My heart tells me....you won't follow my advice - they never do you know !"

[vbkelly]

hinting for a money is a bit dangerous

[kermit123]

hi when i meet my wife on line i asked all sorts of things that i had heard .
was i expected to support her family
was i expected to give money to her family if we married
was the family going to live with us and lots more
and she answered them all which put my mind at ease we do help the family but its becouse we wont to help not becouse we have to . we help money wise and time helping with kids and such but i found being honest from start helps a lot to clear the air my wifes family have never asked or hinted for money of any kind if we can help we do.i have been very lucky with my wifes family even with this legacy investments when family found out we had problems thay offered to borrow us money (we dident need it but thay dident now that ) be honest from start and you wont go far wrong dropping hints for money is bad sign from start just be carefull her family might be asking her to ask you for it it might not be her doing, western people are all rich what ever you say to them thay think that we are gaz/maybs

[Mrs.JMajor]

Im trying to reply ,but when i scrawl down to read other members replies, they said it all

Take note : even she said shes not asking you money,but she mention it,shes trying to hit you whether u have your own desire (kusang loob) to send her

[reginacarlson]

Something like this happened to my Belgian friend when he met a Filipina girl on his visit to the Philippines. 3 days after they met, he left and went back to Belgium but their relationship continued online and that's when she started telling him about all her financial problems. She never did asked him directly, just trying to make him pity her (like her son was confined in the hospital, not having enough credit on her mobile to phone or text him and no money to go and pay for the internet cafe, some other debts etc...) and since he's kind of inlove with the girl, he thought he should help her out and started sending her some euros which was really irritating when I found out! I told him he's being scammed and it took a while to knock some sense into him, but only after it amounted to nearly P20,000!!! It's not a lot but that was still hard earned money...